Work Gossip / Drama, and Bullying

[Lysander]

Hey everyone,

I work in a department store stocking produce. It's not an exciting job, but it pays $13/hr and I enjoy the work itself.

The only problem I'm having is that people tend to treat me like a child, or as if I'm stupid. My performance reviews are always "excellent", so I know it has nothing to do with my work.

Something that is really telling is that after I leave the room for a duration of time, a new employee who I've already met once will suddenly start staring at me when I come back into the room, talking down to me, ect, for no apparent reason.

I'm frustrated that I'm being treated this way for no apparent reason. But there's no way for me to prove it. I know it's not good for my mental health to be treated like crap for no reason, but I'm questioning whether this will just happen again if I run from it.

I'm not sure what to do. I prefer being a loner frankly, but I don't appreciate being attacked by the herd.

 

[Fino]

What do people know about you? Is there any knowledge of you that could be spreading? What do you think someone would tell a new person if they were to describe you?

 

[Trophonius]

I experience similar issues.

To be honest, I'm not sure if I know how I seem to others, this is, if my behavior and persona is odd enough that they consider to treat me with such manners, or maybe I'm projecting and there is no further meaning in their behavior.

Unfortunately, we cannot be loners in these days. We need to socialize, either for working or academic reasons.

If it truly gets to the point of being annoying, I would suggest simply asking them. This does not need to come out as aggressive, I think something like: "I don't know if it's me, but I'm under the impression you've been talking down to me, and if that's the case I would like you to no longer do that" would be fine.

You don't deserve to be treated like crap, nobody does. If someone treats you like that you should either get away from them, or talk to them in case the former it's not possible. Of course, this is easier said than done. There are many times in which I think I should have done exactly that but didn't.

In any case, I hope you the best.

 

[Pats]

Know what you mean. I've had new people, when they meet me say, "Oh, YOU're Patty." They know me before meeting me. Had one say, "Oh, you're the one everyone talks about." I don't ask questions. I would just say, I guess and go on.

 

[Aspychata]

People have tried in the past to stare me down. I ignore it. If you give no response to what you feel might be social putdowns, this actually discourages it. People tend to think less of me because l don't give them much to judge me on. At some point l may release some insight or actually something very intelligent falls out of my mouth, then people step back and decide not to screw with me. You may have to earn that respect back or apply for a different job.

 

[tducey]

My advice about workplace gossip is to stay out of it unless it impacts you. If that's the case then contact your supervisor about it.

 

[Ines]

My advice about workplace gossip is to stay out of it unless it impacts you. If that's the case then contact your supervisor about it.

I agree. Personal experience has told me that this can have a huge impact on your mental being. I got sucked into workplace gossips a couple of years ago, and this only further isolated me. I have learned to block out the office gossips, not get involved into people talking about people and I feel much better for it.

 

[JWHarding]

+1 on what Ines says above. I find it's hard to improve things, when you get embroiled in the pettiness, but it's pretty easy to make things worse. And yeah, it DOES happen again when you change jobs - although it's more pronounced in some places than others. It's... disheartening, but you have to have the hide of a rhino, and just keep on going. These things are often cyclical, and a year from now, things can be completely different - personnel move on, a new boss imposes better team cohesiveness, other parts of your life inject joy. Don't engage with the nastiness, don't feed the trolls - certain kinds of people enjoy the reaction of you looking slightly hurt or offended. Keep on rolling, and for extra points, smile a bunch - it will annoy the right people, it will draw nice people to you, and this is your life, don't let half-wits grind you down. You're clearly smart and articulate, and your employer is giving you excellent reviews - press on!

 

[Guest]

But there's no way for me to prove it.

But it's on the internet, so it must be true.