Working through life frustration.

[Wolfnox]

I had an anxiety attack about a week ago. It had been building for awhile. A long while.
Due to frustration at having failed to achieve anything by this age. I'm stuck. At where I am due to life and my condition. The attack happened because of the seething frustration I have built up with myself and the world getting in the way repeatedly. Leaving me stuck with no chance to move forward with life. No job. No money. No future.
I just feel tired and fed up with everything.
Yet, I'm still here.
Tired. But, here.
Tired. But, alive.
I decided to work on some life restructuring.
World's making that difficult too.
Whatever.
Will work on bucket list.

 

[Aspychata]

Sometimes l feel like l am in the same vicious circle. I am a good employee but job pay is low and not enough for monthly expenses. It's actually cheaper for me to stay home and not worry about gas, accidents, over-shopping, rude people.

My brother achieved so much in his lifetime so l feel like a failure. There is one person who feels l really helped him. He thanks me for help with his job choice and life choices. That helps me alot. I don't feel so worthless .

You aren't alone.

 

[Suzette]

I don't know what age you are but I relate!
I am 54, 55 in May and I feel like I have absolutely nothing to show for being alive.

I certainly have experienced that family and societal pressure to excel at something. But I can not bost a sucessful career, academic acheivement, monetary gain or even a cult following.

I am rather dull, unaccomplished, boring interests, boring experiences (well, I do have a couple of stories) etc.

When I was younger all my mediocity really made me feel useless.

But, we aren't everyone else. Our daily existence is challenging! We are a bit like fishes on land. Ordinary land based mamals scoff when we say "It's hard and I am doing all I can." But they don't know how hard it is to live in their world when we are so out of place!

I think about how hard it has been to just be here! And then I feel pretty good too because, I am still here! This world is really hard for me so being here anyway is a huge "accomplishment". In fact, it can be so hard I don't think many ordinary people would survive it if everything felt as difficult for them as it does to me.

Anyway, I simply refuse to feel shame for "having nothing" and "being nothing".

 

[Aspychata]

I don't know what age you are but I relate!
I am 54, 55 in May and I feel like I have absolutely nothing to show for being alive.

I certainly have experienced that family and societal pressure to excel at something. But I can not bost a sucessful career, academic acheivement, monetary gain or even a cult following.

I am rather dull, unaccomplished, boring interests, boring experiences (well, I do have a couple of stories) etc.

When I was younger all my mediocity really made me feel useless.

But, we aren't everyone else. Our daily existence is challenging! We are a bit like fishes on land. Ordinary land based mamals scoff when we say "It's hard and I am doing all I can." But they don't know how hard it is to live in their world when we are so out of place!

I think about how hard it has been to just be here! And then I feel pretty good too because, I am still here! This world is really hard for me so being here anyway is a huge "accomplishment". In fact, it can be so hard I don't think many ordinary people would survive it if everything felt as difficult for them as it does to me.

Anyway, I simply refuse to feel shame for "having nothing" and "being nothing".

I had a group of people try to convince me l am a nothing simply so they could take advantage of me. That's when l realized l had to stand up for my nothingness no matter what. No matter who l am doesn't give anybody the right to take advantage of me or anybody else. That's why this forum and this particular thread or post is so important. They needed me to feel unimportant so that they could excel with their greed.

 

[Suzette]

Yet, I'm still here.
Tired. But, here.
Tired. But, alive.
I decided to work on some life restructuring.

I just re-read your post Wolf Smurf and I think I misread it initially. I was reading your post like you needed comfort and solidarity. But I see now that you are declaring so much more for yourself and are much more hopeful than I thought at first.

I appologize for not seeing it sooner.

 

[Wolfnox]

I just re-read your post Wolf Smurf and I think I misread it initially. I was reading your post like you needed comfort and solidarity. But I see now that you are declaring so much more for yourself and are much more hopeful than I thought at first.

I appologize for not seeing it sooner.

No apology needed.
Giving up isn't the answer.
Just trying to figure out how to move forward. And what moving forward looks like for me.
I'm tired. But, have a stubborn streak.

 

[Wolfnox]

I am a good employee but job pay is low and not enough for monthly expenses. It's actually cheaper for me to stay home and not worry about gas, accidents, over-shopping, rude people.

More or less my concerns about being employed. Not seeing a bright outlook. But, I want to do it to help others.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

I decided to work on some life restructuring.

If you want to share, I will be happy to read some of your ideas and plans for the future.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

At your age I was just turning a corner with my life, and I started making changes around 24/25. The habits I developed became more ingrained with time. But by then I met two things that helped, an interesting job and living independently.

But, I want to do it to help others.

That is so very good to hear. I started out in molecular genetics then cancer research, but did not have the patience to overcome barriers to my progress. A quandry, especially as I found I liked manufacturing when I got into pharmaceuticals. So, I pursued Quality/Process Validation where I could work positively for the people who rely upon the Efficacy, Purity and Safety of the drugs I was involved with monitoring. I enjoyed taking ownership of my work and because of that I got a lot of lattitude.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I don't know what age you are but I relate!
I am 54, 55 in May and I feel like I have absolutely nothing to show for being alive.

I certainly have experienced that family and societal pressure to excel at something. But I can not bost a sucessful career, academic acheivement, monetary gain or even a cult following.

I am rather dull, unaccomplished, boring interests, boring experiences (well, I do have a couple of stories) etc.

When I was younger all my mediocity really made me feel useless.

But, we aren't everyone else. Our daily existence is challenging! We are a bit like fishes on land. Ordinary land based mamals scoff when we say "It's hard and I am doing all I can." But they don't know how hard it is to live in their world when we are so out of place!

I think about how hard it has been to just be here! And then I feel pretty good too because, I am still here! This world is really hard for me so being here anyway is a huge "accomplishment". In fact, it can be so hard I don't think many ordinary people would survive it if everything felt as difficult for them as it does to me.

Anyway, I simply refuse to feel shame for "having nothing" and "being nothing".

Never feel useless or think that you are not accomplished. The posts of yours I have read demonstrate great empathy and an introspection that comes from experience. You, like many here have persevered to be independent with a strength that would try most NTs.

 

[Wolfnox]

If you want to share, I will be happy to read some of your ideas and plans for the future.

Working up to that. No clear path right now. Surviving is about it. But, I'll come up with something.
Really. I want to see a wonder. Something beautiful and enlightening.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Working up to that. No clear path right now. Surviving is about it. But, I'll come up with something.
Really. I want to see a wonder. Something beautiful and enlightening.

Look in the mirror. The thing that is you is a concatination of improbability, I describe it as the cosmos becoming aware of itself. It seems undeniably trite to say that we each are beautiful, but I honestly believe we each are a beautiful spark in a vast universe.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

Working up to that. No clear path right now. Surviving is about it. But, I'll come up with something.
Really. I want to see a wonder. Something beautiful and enlightening.

Some time after my daugther was born I realized that my earnings were not enougth to save and sustain the family in the long run. I earned more than ok for myself, which was mi initial goal when I was studing. It was ok for me and my wife. But It was not for the three of us. I wanted to earn more, and needed some guiadance.

That year my health went down, most nights I had sleeping problems and after some weeks feeling pitty of myself I decided to use that extra awake time for something. I did some exercice, read some books on how to improve myself... and I found this audio book:

https://www.amazon.com.mx/Lead-Field-Earl-Nightingale/dp/0743520815

This one seemed like It was written just for me. It gave me guiadance, and touch my heart. This was possibly due to my personal situation and personality, but I want to share it with you just in case.

 

[Wolfnox]

Look in the mirror. The thing that is you is a concatination of improbability, I describe it as the cosmos becoming aware of itself. It seems undeniably trite to say that we each are beautiful, but I honestly believe we each are a beautiful spark in a vast universe.

I do that.

 

[Wolfnox]

Some time after my daugther was born I realized that my earnings were not enougth to save and sustain the family in the long run. I earned more than ok for myself, which was mi initial goal when I was studing. It was ok for me and my wife. But It was not for the three of us. I wanted to earn more, and needed some guiadance.

That year my health went down, most nights I had sleeping problems and after some weeks feeling pitty of myself I decided to use that extra awake time for something. I did some exercice, read some books on how to improve myself... and I found this audio book:

https://www.amazon.com.mx/Lead-Field-Earl-Nightingale/dp/0743520815

This one seemed like It was written just for me. It gave me guiadance, and touch my heart. This was possibly due to my personal situation and personality, but I want to share it with you just in case.

Thanks.