Worrying problem

[Wendigo20]

I would like some advice i for the frist time in my life had a gf we meet online but never got to meet each other in person but anyway when we where together i had a worrying problem I was worryed about the littest things and worryed if we where serous, you see sometimes I don't see things like most I miss understand message or misinterpret what she said and that add on to my worry it got so bad that she couldent take it no more and we broke up , is this a normal thing that's happens when people with aspergers get into a ship or is it just me and if it is a thing that happens how can I help this ?

 

[Nervous Rex]

Worry, overanalyzing, and overthinking seems to be a fairly common trait among autistics (and if they aren't, I've got enough on my own to bring the average up).

Mindfulness techniques can help some, but I think it's mostly a matter of learning what works for you.

Here are some things that work for me:

• Think things through and then write my decision down. When I want to start second guessing myself, I remember that I have already thought it through and written my decision down.
• Recognize the patterns of thought and deliberately choose something else to think about (I can't come up with something else in the moment - I have to choose ahead of time: "The next time I start spiraling out of control, I'm going to think of this." For me, it's math or poetry. For you... ???)
• Learn to trust. Far easier said than done - sorry.
• Face the worst case and accept it ahead of time. Realize that I can make it through even if the worst case happens. Then put it aside and do my best to make the best case happen.
• Break big problems into smaller ones and tackle them a piece at a time.
• Start doing something - anything. Even if I can't take care of everything, taking care of something make me feel more empowered and capable.
• Talking. Talking problems out with a trusted friend always helps. I almost never think to initiate social contact on my own, but when I do get it, I notice that it helps me.
• Counseling. Trying to get help to learn how to deal with this is how I got my diagnosis.

I don't use all these at all times. I kind of try whatever I think of first when I recognize that I need to do something.

 

[Wendigo20]

Worry, overanalyzing, and overthinking seems to be a fairly common trait among autistics (and if they aren't, I've got enough on my own to bring the average up).

Mindfulness techniques can help some, but I think it's mostly a matter of learning what works for you.

Here are some things that work for me:

• Think things through and then write my decision down. When I want to start second guessing myself, I remember that I have already thought it through and written my decision down.
• Recognize the patterns of thought and deliberately choose something else to think about (I can't come up with something else in the moment - I have to choose ahead of time: "The next time I start spiraling out of control, I'm going to think of this." For me, it's math or poetry. For you... ???)
• Learn to trust. Far easier said than done - sorry.
• Face the worst case and accept it ahead of time. Realize that I can make it through even if the worst case happens. Then put it aside and do.my best to make the best case happen.
• Break big problems into smaller ones and tackle them a piece at a time.
• Start doing something - anything. Even of I can't take care of everything, taking care of something make me feel more empowered and capable.
• Talking. Talking problems out with a trusted friend always helps. I almost never think to initiate social contact on my own, but when I do get it, I notice that it helps me.
• Counseling. Trying to get help to learn how to deal with this is how I got my diagnosis.

I don't use all these at all times. I kind of try whatever I think of first when I recognize that I need to do something.

thank you for telling me this I will try this and see if it helps me improve , really it means a lot to me that ya told me this

 

[Bolletje]

Relationships always being uncertainty with them, and sadly, overanalyzing just makes it worse. Try to recognize negative thought patterns and break them. Instead of asking other people to prove your negative thoughts wrong, come up with your own evidence. For instance, if you’re worried someone might not like you, name a few things that prove they do like you. Try to counteract the voice that puts worry and doubt in your mind.

I’m a worrier by nature, but I had a lot of cognitive behavioral therapy to help me stop making up problems in my own head, or enlarging minor problems. It mostly works.

 

[Nervous Rex]

Try to recognize negative thought patterns and break them. Instead of asking other people to prove your negative thoughts wrong, come up with your own evidence.

That is great.

 

[SusanLR]

Worry, overanalyzing, and overthinking seems to be a fairly common trait among autistics (and if they aren't, I've got enough on my own to bring the average up).

True.
Relationships are uncertain and fragile I've found.
Mine always seem to end in breakups.
I always try to think things out, but, that ends up
with the overthinking and usually doesn't work anyway.
The mind tells you one thing, the heart feels another.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Think things through and then write my decision down. When I want to start second guessing myself, I remember that I have already thought it through and written my decision down

My version of this is :

Trust 'past me'

He puts a lot of thought into things.
I don't need to rethink it.
'past me' sorted it.

Present me has learnt to listen to past me.

A little extra freedom.

Future me is very annoying.
By the time he gets here everything is done for him.

 

[Streetwise]

I would like some advice i for the frist time in my life had a gf we meet online but never got to meet each other in person but anyway when we where together i had a worrying problem I was worryed about the littest things and worryed if we where serous, you see sometimes I don't see things like most I miss understand message or misinterpret what she said and that add on to my worry it got so bad that she couldent take it no more and we broke up , is this a normal thing that's happens when people with aspergers get into a ship or is it just me and if it is a thing that happens how can I help this ?

try to remember one person cannot fulfil everything that you need to be fulfilled ,it's very hard as emotions I think probably to autistic people are very intense!!!!!

 

[Wendigo20]

True.
Relationships are uncertain and fragile I've found.
Mine always seem to end in breakups.
I always try to think things out, but, that ends up
with the overthinking and usually doesn't work anyway.
The mind tells you one thing, the heart feels another.

I know how ya feel when you say the mind says one thing and heart says another I've had that feeling with me ever cents I can remember and not just with this subject its been a big thing I've had as Well but I hope that ya may find the one someday and i hope for the best for ya