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Worst place to meet girls.

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Tony Ramirez

Tony Ramirez

Single Aspie
V.I.P Member
For me it's got to be Church or maybe it's my Church.

I joined an Church about 3 years ago to meet girls. It was an complete waste of time. The Church is full of guys and couples.

I joined three life groups, one was just an couple that would show up regularly The second group which I only attend suppose to be Coed but it is mostly just guys and couples. I am close friends with the leader who meet his wife at the same Church. The third one was all couples except for two girls which rarely show up.

The pandemic ruined the Church and any chance. They don't meet in person. They do virtual service. All groups use horrible Zoom.

When we meet in person at the park recently it's full of happy married couples with kids. I also got peeved that I made another guy friend who is married. Before that the guy friend I made is single.

So the people that attend Church events are the same couples, and only a few woman single by choice and even they don't show up all the time.
 
The point of church is not to pick up women, but to get closer to God. I am not sure why you expected church to be a meat market.
 
OkRad said:
The point of church is not to pick up women, but to get closer to God. I am not sure why you expected church to be a meat market.
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You sound like everyone else especially those who actually meet their wife at that Chuch and have the nerve to letire me.
 
I wonder if you might find a class or regular interest group or similar, Tony, once things open up more, where you could meet people? Church hasn't really worked for you, by the sound of it, for meeting women.

Or could you maybe volunteer in a cat rescue place, or similar? Something you are interested in. And at least you'd then have church as a support, and needn't worry about meeting women there.
 
Society is still just opening up again. When it does, you might see if you can find a social group through your church or larger community. I think Catholic churches run dances for singles, for example. There you would expect everyone is actually single.
 
Having paralyzing social anxiety I never thought of going anywhere to meet women as, not only could I not read social cues, I could never approach any one I found attractive. So I thought, (family blog)-it, I was just going to enjoy myself and started going on local Sierra Club outings. So I got practice in being social. Then, I signed up for a trail maintenance trip and the leader sent out names of participants suggesting that we should car pool. I saw a woman in a city I was passing through and took a chance and called her. She had a beautiful voice and we agreed to drive together. We talked more before the trip going over gear and training, then had a wonderful road trip together where we cemented our friendship. This was life-changing for me and we have been together for 43 years.

Before this I had despaired of meeting anybody. Have you given thought to participating in something you are enthusiastic about and create that basis of a common interest where you may also be more relaxed with people and open?
 
Please no romantic hundred and one love stories. I heard enough from my couple friends.

Single girls at Church they ain't just out there and they flake at any event what I mean is they don't bother showing up.

Now that we are three forth at least in the US of this pandemic ending, opening back up to normal I expect the Church to have the same annoying couples, mostly guys and the same 3 or 4 girls who even flake somethimes.
 
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While I agree that the intent of Church is NOT to find a girlfriend/spouse, God can use it to put someone in your path who may end up being your girlfriend/spouse. I don't see any harm in throwing your hat in the ring, just don't let the desire to have a relationship on that level with someone consume you. I let that happen to me with my last relationship. Thought I was living for God when in reality I was living for my girlfriend.
 
Even joining their Facebook page my friend request is full of couples. Luckily I don't rely on Facebook except to sometimes log into certain websites.

Also if they don't bother to show up except for the same 3 or 4 girls you can see watching the virtual service I don't want as girlfriends as they don't want an relationship, the other 4 to 6 girls are married how am I suppose to even meet anyone?
 
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Tony Ramirez said:
Also if they don't bother to show up except for the same 4 or 5 girls you can see watching the virtual service I don't want as girlfriends how am I suppose to even meet anyone.
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That depends on your situation. You can meet people anywhere. Ever watch a Hallmark movie where the car breaks down and the love-of-their-life shows up and helps them fix it? As cheesy as that may sound, those situations do happen in the real world. Sure, you shouldn't expect it, but it's always wise to keep an eye out for potential partners.

I can relate to your situation somewhat. I know a lot of people at my church, male & female. There are a couple people I could see myself dating, but I think they both think I am a creep. (I tend to hang out with them a lot at Church, note that I don't seem them anywhere else... so where else am I supposed to interact with them?) But, keep your head up, and keep trucking. You'll find someone eventually.
 
VernalSole1355 said:
That depends on your situation. You can meet people anywhere. Ever watch a Hallmark movie where the car breaks down and the love-of-their-life shows up and helps them fix it? As cheesy as that may sound, those situations do happen in the real world. Sure, you shouldn't expect it, but it's always wise to keep an eye out for potential partners.

I can relate to your situation somewhat. I know a lot of people at my church, male & female. There are a couple people I could see myself dating, but I think they both think I am a creep. (I tend to hang out with them a lot at Church, note that I don't seem them anywhere else... so where else am I supposed to interact with them?) But, keep your head up, and keep trucking. You'll find someone eventually.
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No that pure Hollywood fiction. They are getting payed to act that garbage. That never happens in real life. There might be a slight communication but 99% of the time they part their ways never to see each other again.
 
So it sounds like you don't want any suggestions, Tony. Thank you for sharing your perspective on churches as bad places to meet women.
 
Let’s be fair. You said church was a bad place and wanted suggestions, only the suggestions couldn’t be about happy couples?

There is no way of winning, you’ve made it impossible for anyone to help you.

I have a happy couple story, I was single before and didn’t meet my husband in church but we do go and enjoy it.

No, won’t bother sharing my happy couple story - I’m scared to say pretty much anything, it’s walking on egg shells trying to appease.

Hope the best for you, only suggestion I do have is to “Be the person you want to marry”, that advice is from Andy Stanley not mine.
 
VernalSole1355 said:
That depends on your situation. You can meet people anywhere. Ever watch a Hallmark movie where the car breaks down and the love-of-their-life shows up and helps them fix it? As cheesy as that may sound, those situations do happen in the real world. Sure, you shouldn't expect it, but it's always wise to keep an eye out for potential partners.

I can relate to your situation somewhat. I know a lot of people at my church, male & female. There are a couple people I could see myself dating, but I think they both think I am a creep. (I tend to hang out with them a lot at Church, note that I don't seem them anywhere else... so where else am I supposed to interact with them?) But, keep your head up, and keep trucking. You'll find someone eventually.
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Yup, l have guys who would glady give me a flat tire just so they could magically show up just like a hallmark movie, but then it would turn into Freddy Kruger with remakes.
 
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