Yesterday I went to a cafe...

[Aspergers_Aspie]

Yesterday I went to a cafe and asked politely for a cheese and onion roll to take away. The guy asked me four times 'cheese and onion'? and on one occasion 'cheese and tomato'? I would say 99 percent of the time people understand me. Maybe he had a genuine problem but I got the impression for whatever reason he was trying to provoke me. I left before I got the roll and left the money on the counterm so I done nothing wrong, but I put the review on a review site of the cafe. I won't be mocked!

 

[Suzette]

Why did you leave money for a roll that you didn't get? Of course you did nothing wrong! This company failed YOU. Not the other way around. In all likelyhood the roll hadn't even been made when you left the shop. The company lost nothing but a customer.

You must stop paying for abuse. Never pay for something that you did not receive.

 

[tree]

@Aspergers_Aspie
"I got the impression for whatever reason he was trying to provoke me."

The impression I get is that you are easily provoked.
There are many threads you have started in which you
are shocked and displeased regarding events that may
or may not have a direct connection with your everyday
life.

The events in your everyday life seem to feature many
episodes of you either being confused or enraged by
what you take to be mistreatment.

Spoiler

A guy looks at you.
Somebody you don't know didn't get served in a pub.
The servers ask whether you're returning to your seat.
The selection of foods at a gas station isn't arranged
for ideal viewing.
The police in a television show treated someone unfairly.
Somebody crossed the street.....etc

It seems like your life must be exhausting, constantly
being irritated by events that don't necessarily have
anything to do with you.

 

[Aspychata]

Sorry that you felt unhinged at what happen yesterday. People in customer service jobs can be jerks. You can usually just ignore. Corporations use to push customer service. Not anymore. I saw a cashier stick her gloved hand into trash can then not remove her glove for a new one. This happen yesterday.

Your guy may have bad hearing, may have broken up with his girlfriend, may have been in a car accident, may not pay attention. He may dislike you, he may dislike everybody, he maybe a complete idiot. So don't stress. Go somewhere else until he gets fired for being incompetent.

This lady was rude to me at store, l stood my ground. I refuse to let her push me around.

 

[Judge]

Spoiler

A guy looks at you.
Somebody you don't know didn't get served in a pub.
The servers ask whether you're returning to your seat.
The selection of foods at a gas station isn't arranged
for ideal viewing.
The police in a television show treated someone unfairly.
Somebody crossed the street.....etc

It seems like your life must be exhausting, constantly
being irritated by events that don't necessarily have
anything to do with you.

Interesting observation. There does seem to be a pattern of behavior in this context.

Enough perhaps to ponder the possibility of other comorbid conditions such as borderline personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, or even perhaps histrionic personality disorder. Considerations which of course can only be confirmed or rejected through extensive analysis by a medical professional.

I still recall one poster long ago who I thought might have histrionic personality disorder. Where it seemed their entire life was one crisis one after another without end. Even when the reality was that such events more often than not were relatively benign or simply imagined. Interesting enough though this same person came to the conclusion that they were not on the spectrum of autism. And I agreed with them on their conclusion.

Agreed though, for anyone with such thought processes it must be exhausting. No doubt compounded by all the emotional and physical stresses autism can bring. Possibly contributing to an unending cycle of behavior.

 

[Fino]

It could simply be a result of trauma. If someone is constantly mocked as a child, they may grow up believing that people are constantly are mocking them because that was once true. It's difficult to escape the realities we form as children.

 

[Luca]

It could simply be a result of trauma. If someone is constantly mocked as a child, they may grow up believing that people are constantly are mocking them because that was once true. It's difficult to escape the realities we form as children.

Thank you for pointing this out.
This is me. Or rather, it used to be me. I have BPD (which I really don't like telling people because there's so much stigma about it. Most personality disorders do not inherently equal "malicious" or "sociopath"- that's a specific personality disorder, or a set of symptoms that not every single person has. But you would not believe the kinds of things people have assumed about me because of that diagnosis ) But anyway, this is a common thought pattern for people with trauma issues (I have BPD and PTSD). I used to believe that everyone had it out for me, and I was a really bitter, distrustful person... I'm still working on my trust issues- it's a work in progress. And on bad days, yes, I do still sometimes think that people are provoking me on purpose, or making fun of me, or are going to harm me physically.
But then, as I got older and matured, and got treatment and worked on my issues, I started to understand that not everything is to be taken personally (it took a lot of explaining and convincing from my parents and therapist too). Some people are just having a bad day, or maybe have bad social skills, or are angry people, or are standoffish, etc etc... the list goes on. I had to learn that not everything is a threat or meant to be malicious... but that's not something that gets learned overnight. It takes a lot of work and a lot of self-reflecting, and understanding why people are the way they are and why they have certain reactions to certain things and situations (and why you, yourself, have those reactions). And being able to put it in perspective. And it's ok if you're still struggling with it (any of you). No one is asking you to be perfect.
It took over ten years of therapy for me to even begin to understand any of what I just said here. But now I... sort of... get it. And when I'm having a bad day and everything is getting on my nerves, I take a step back and try to either a.) not really put myself in social situations, or b.) remind myself that if someone has an issue, it's probably not my fault (but if it is, I need to work on that too).
Not sure exactly where I was going with this lol, but to the OP- trauma is hard. And it's hard for others to understand. Sometimes you need to go into every situation thinking "I'm having a bad day. But I need to understand that not everything is about me." But I completely understand and empathize with having trauma issues and thinking everyone is out to get you. It's something that CAN be worked on though. Meeting people who are genuinely caring and compassionate can help too Although the trauma can never be completely erased, but your trauma is also always going to be valid.
Ugh, sorry my posts are so long and rambling... my brain is super disorganized and I can articulate myself much better in writing than I can in my head or in speech. So thank all of you for putting up with me