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Your own best friend

T

Turk

Well-Known Member
There are a lot of threads about friendships, or lack thereof, in relation to Aspies. Despite of a lack of friendships for many of us, thinking outside ourselves, we have an idea of what sort of person we'd want as a friend. I know the sort of attributes, id like in a friend anyway. So my point is this. Would you be your own best friend? If I honestly looked at my attributes, the answer would probably be no. Im impatient, anxious, only helpful when it suits me, im flighty and opinionated, just to name a few. So why then would I assume that someone else would enjoy my friendship. Its interesting that I have a judgement about others, but dont wished to be judged myself. An hypocrisy of which I never looked at before. Im not the same person I was 4 years ago, and maybe I could handle a few friends in my life. Before that can happen, I either have to stop judging potential friends or work on those attributes, that make others feel uncomfortable. There are obviously exceptions to the rule, but food for thought, nevertheless.
So would you be your own best friend?

Cheerd
Turk
 
I've been wondering something similar to this.
I think I have a lot of the attributes I would want the people I associate with to have...yet perhaps something about my personality would annoy me.
 
Excellent thread and outstanding post by Turk. I would say yes though I have many flaws. However if I were to rethink this, I would say as long as I'm not as negative and complaining as I was in December. Excellent food for thought.
 
Hah, I already am my own best friend. At the end of the day, the only person who I know will never betray me, is myself. That's why I am my own best friend.
 
I guess in away I am my own best friend. All my characters are my friends whether they fit the traditional sense of friendship or not. Since they are part of me then I would say I am to my self.
 
Im in the same boat, in that im my own best friend. We are forced into this situation because of our condition. This is an exercise in choice, not what life forces on us. When I peel back the layers of self pity, there are some real attributes, to my personlity, which I can see would turn ppl off. So to understand others, we must first understand ourselves.
 
Turk said:
There are a lot of threads about friendships, or lack thereof, in relation to Aspies. Despite of a lack of friendships for many of us, thinking outside ourselves, we have an idea of what sort of person we'd want as a friend. I know the sort of attributes, id like in a friend anyway. So my point is this. Would you be your own best friend? If I honestly looked at my attributes, the answer would probably be no. Im impatient, anxious, only helpful when it suits me, im flighty and opinionated, just to name a few. So why then would I assume that someone else would enjoy my friendship. Its interesting that I have a judgement about others, but dont wished to be judged myself. An hypocrisy of which I never looked at before. Im not the same person I was 4 years ago, and maybe I could handle a few friends in my life. Before that can happen, I either have to stop judging potential friends or work on those attributes, that make others feel uncomfortable. There are obviously exceptions to the rule, but food for thought, nevertheless.
So would you be your own best friend?

Cheerd
Turk
Click to expand...

I totally understand this, I'm the same and I honestly think if I met me.. I'd probably hate me - on a slight tangent I'd preferably date someone the polar opposite of me because I think that would give me good balance.

The above is a slippery slope though and I've ended up hating myself for what I am - not a good place, just getting over it now.
 
I would be friends with me, I think :) I like having friendships where I don't have to speak for a while and when we meet up we're still as close as we were before. Also I wouldn't need to make phone calls to communicate because I hate them.

I probably wouldn't get on with myself in some ways. Like when I find a hobby or something I love, I gone on about it all the time. I probably would't like how emotional I was.
 
Hmmm...I don't know how to answer this without sounding arrogant, so I hope you'll excuse me if it comes across that way; it's not my intention at all, I assure you.

I personally am the type of person who goes out of my way to change, in order to better myself as a person. It may be attributed to being a female with Aspergers, as I've read many opinions agreeing that female Aspies generally behave in such a fashion.

However, I often find it frustrating that I choose to go out of my way to listen to those around me, and compensate to please others, while others may not care to bother at all. It has costed me several friendships, as many of them were built on the foundations of me giving, and them expecting.

In saying that, I don't behave in this fashion as much as I used to. As an adult, I've learned enough to know that you have to choose your friends wisely, and that some people will appreciate you, while others never will. Also, I've learned to understand that while I may deserve respect, it does not mean that I shall receive it. Sometimes, respect is something you need to ask for (occasionally even demand), as some people simply won't show an ounce of respect, without first being given reason that you are a person to be reckoned with. If you let people walk all over you, they will, and so I've had to adapt to that reality as well.

Despite my new outlook on the whole situation though, I do still strive to better myself as a person, and will treat people in a civilised manner. It just means that I have learned to stand up for myself better. Now, my problem seems to be finding friends who deserve me.

Again, I hope none of you feel I am being disrespectful, I'm only referring to a few bad experiences, and am not deluded to think that all people are bad people.
 
I think I would annoy myself over the edge, so I don't blame people for not being friends with me...then again, I would understand my problems and deal with them.


-Molly :)
 
I have been at times my own best friend

But if there was an actual 2nd me...no chance!

I would get greatly annoyed by the other me
We would clash

In hindsight I've preferred calmer and more passive individuals as a best friend
 
Hm... I think I would like to be my own friend. From what I hear of those around me, I'm kind of like everyone's own little confessional box. They can tell me anything and I will not judge or spread gossip. Whether they've told a lie or killed a person, I'm still going to remain their friend. I have already found someone exactly like that, though, and we always joke that we are the same person as we have a lot of strange similarities.
 
I would prefer my best friend to be very similar to me, however I am my own worst enemy so I could never be my own best friend.
 
Probably not. First, I like to hide in the background, so we'd be unlikely to ever talk to each other. Then if we did, it takes me a long time to warm up to people and let my guard down; I can't imagine we could get past this hurdle either. If by some impossible miracle we got that far, then we would quite possibly be friends. Unfortunately it would be short lived though as we'd forget to phone each other, then we'd assume the other was upset with us, and from there we'd drift apart.
 
Sportster said:
But if you were your own best friend, then your own best friend could help you take care of your own worst enemy. Hmm, that's deep; it will keep me up all night now.o_O
Click to expand...

Yeah, I think you've sort of sussed out my MO, as far as I can tell.
 
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