Hi there, please aspie men and ladies with experience with aspie men - so curious on your thoughts on a situation with a man I believe has aspbergers?! I myself am an NT female. I ADORE him but in honesty - adoring this guy is like being on a roller coaster! His behaviour throws me.
He is stiff and arrogant-looking. He always looks full focus straight ahead and not looking at anything around him. He only talks about work related things and he takes work extremely seriously. His answers are focused, thoughtful and analytical.. hard to explain. He does little "stims" often when he thinks noone sees him.
When he sees me from a distance he looks at me. He says hi and sometimes gives shy smiles. We have chatted properly a couple times. Initially he was as stiff as anything, but very soon he lost that and relaxed, and his talking, behaviour and entire body language was 100% indicating he liked me. Still later the same day he could walk by me with that seemingly cold and arrogant attitude totally ignoring me. He knows I admire him for his knowledge on his special interest. He often talks about this special interest with others and positions himself where I can see and hear it happening.
I strongly suspect he isn't very confident with girls and that he has low self esteem in that particular area in life. I have that too however I do get double takes from men and have been told am very beautiful bla bla bla.. am torn between if he likes me a little bit or if he thinks I am a horrible annoyance! Am definetely loosing confidence and would hate to scare or annoy him, or anyone for that matter.
It would be so interesting to hear your thoughts on it. If you could take some time to answer these questions it would be so so appreciated as I don't know anyone with aspbergers myself. I apologise if I unintentionally use the wrong terms or offend anyone.
1). Does it seem to you that this behavior can be typical for an aspie?
2). Would you ever avoid looking at/acknowledging, a girl you liked out of pure nervousness because you actually like her? Or is that kind if behaviour simply always just a sign he does genuinely not care?
3). Would you ever "hang around" and talk to others about your special interest to catch her interest or "impress" her? Especially if you lack confidence in other things about yourself.
4). If there is any way at all he could possibly be interested judging by the above, what would be good ways of showing him I like him?
5. Basically, the "not looking thing" is probably what confuses me the most. I don't stare (I think!) but I do look at him as you would when you meet someone, anyone. Do you think he is aware that I look or does he genuintly not notice? Is it because he feels me looking at him and is feeling uncomfortable? Should I stop doing this and look away too? It's just in my eyes he is so lovely and I cant help it! I want him to know I think he is lovely - but maybe that just makes him feel bad?
Thanks
He is stiff and arrogant-looking. He always looks full focus straight ahead and not looking at anything around him. He only talks about work related things and he takes work extremely seriously. His answers are focused, thoughtful and analytical.. hard to explain. He does little "stims" often when he thinks noone sees him.
When he sees me from a distance he looks at me. He says hi and sometimes gives shy smiles. We have chatted properly a couple times. Initially he was as stiff as anything, but very soon he lost that and relaxed, and his talking, behaviour and entire body language was 100% indicating he liked me. Still later the same day he could walk by me with that seemingly cold and arrogant attitude totally ignoring me. He knows I admire him for his knowledge on his special interest. He often talks about this special interest with others and positions himself where I can see and hear it happening.
I strongly suspect he isn't very confident with girls and that he has low self esteem in that particular area in life. I have that too however I do get double takes from men and have been told am very beautiful bla bla bla.. am torn between if he likes me a little bit or if he thinks I am a horrible annoyance! Am definetely loosing confidence and would hate to scare or annoy him, or anyone for that matter.
It would be so interesting to hear your thoughts on it. If you could take some time to answer these questions it would be so so appreciated as I don't know anyone with aspbergers myself. I apologise if I unintentionally use the wrong terms or offend anyone.
1). Does it seem to you that this behavior can be typical for an aspie?
2). Would you ever avoid looking at/acknowledging, a girl you liked out of pure nervousness because you actually like her? Or is that kind if behaviour simply always just a sign he does genuinely not care?
3). Would you ever "hang around" and talk to others about your special interest to catch her interest or "impress" her? Especially if you lack confidence in other things about yourself.
4). If there is any way at all he could possibly be interested judging by the above, what would be good ways of showing him I like him?
5. Basically, the "not looking thing" is probably what confuses me the most. I don't stare (I think!) but I do look at him as you would when you meet someone, anyone. Do you think he is aware that I look or does he genuintly not notice? Is it because he feels me looking at him and is feeling uncomfortable? Should I stop doing this and look away too? It's just in my eyes he is so lovely and I cant help it! I want him to know I think he is lovely - but maybe that just makes him feel bad?
Thanks
), he could well not notice because he is a male. Even NT men do not notice when a woman is interested.
eek
