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Lost@plushy That has a multi faceted answer. Though the long and short of it is that I've, in one way or another, embraced the darkness. Just not...- Xinyta
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I'm Not An Artist.Do not feed into the lies of the mind. No one and nothing can stop you from trying, other than yourself. I draw on occasion. You'll see my profile...
- Xinyta
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LostIt's difficult when you're caught between wanting to improve - which means self analysis, and wanting to let go - which means no analysing of...- blue_bird
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Mechanic is working on the car today. Fingers crossed for a quick and cheap fix. Car costs delays the van by another few months. It'll be nearing 2 years of owning the van before I can even live in it. With the car not working I've not been able to work. February's pay day won't be very good...
Figured I'd write whilst my mood felt a little brighter. Yesterday was a struggle with depression and loneliness. It feels very pronounced on my days off since splitting with Hayley. Truth be told I was feeling it less before me and Hayley met, as I was still smoking weed, and it helped to keep...
Had an "episode" (trigger warning) on my walk today, the first day of the new year. I was walking in a forest on these narrow wooden paths.
As some of you might know, I can be a bit challenged by other people, and try to ignore them on my walks. That is difficult on a narrow path, when you...
Stayed up late last night, up until nearly 2am which is very unusual for me. Normally I'm asleep by 10 or 11. But I had a nap earlier in the day, and seeing as I have consecutive days off; I felt no guilt about it. Woke up after 6 or so hours, so not exactly getting the rest I'd hoped for. Tried...
Today's weather forecast predicted rain in the afternoon, so I went for a walk around lunch time, it turned out that it was not only dry but also sunny, the Sun is low this time of year so the light was special, and it was still wet, so the theme of today became reflections in water.
Waiting to hear from the mechanic about when he can look at the car. He said he'd check his diary today and let me know. Work has given me today off, and I have no work until Friday. That is, if I can get my car fixed by Thursday. I hope for a quick fix. I asked my folks if I could borrow their...
Today I went on a new path, that I had never tried before, it has been raining so it was a bit wet in the bog, meaning the water level was high. I took my normal path after I had tried the new one - sat for a while looking at the clouds drifting by - calming.... which is the whole purpose of...
There are alot of factors that either are traits of my parents or cause by them being horrible people:
- My response to being suggested logical considerations, is self-deprecation.
- My response to being called out, is throwing a tantrum.
- My response to life being the way it is, is fear.
-...
Woke up feeling quite refreshed. On my drive in I felt rather positive. Later in the morning I had soke missed calls, they wanted me to change shift on Sunday and work a round in central Cambridge. I'm not keen on the traffic and one of the clients, but I said yes as there's so clients who are...
If you want something investigated in the west end, you go to Mr. Ment the Patchwork P.I. He hates the nickname but let's his daughter Patty say it; he got because a case he worked on ended in a house fire resulting in major skin grafts for everything below his nose. You can file an appointment...
1487 days alcohol free, 13 days tobacco free, 7 days weed free.
Today is my only full day off this week. I had to contact work about my hours again, as 48 is my legal limit and I keep being given a lot more. This week it's 63.75 on the rota, but the actual time spent away from home will more...
I have found that hate has twisted my veiw on alot of things. It all starts with my hatred of my Stepmother. It ends with me hating just about everything else.
The core of it is mother issues. Never having a good one, let alone having one orginally in my life.
My Dad was and is absentee...
Today I went to the Zoo with my spouse - our local zoo is in Christmas mode, and there was a light cover of snow, so it was pretty, and the lion cubs were very cute :)
While i feel lonely sometimes, my oldest emotion is the want to be alone. Because when you are alone there is no shame. No disgusting other people and dirtying them.
When i think of the present time, this thought does not make much sense but it persists. Like all feelings i wont deny this one...