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Lost@plushy That has a multi faceted answer. Though the long and short of it is that I've, in one way or another, embraced the darkness. Just not...- Xinyta
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I'm Not An Artist.Do not feed into the lies of the mind. No one and nothing can stop you from trying, other than yourself. I draw on occasion. You'll see my profile...
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LostIt's difficult when you're caught between wanting to improve - which means self analysis, and wanting to let go - which means no analysing of...- blue_bird
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I realized something beautiful today. A human being paid me a kindness with no expectation of reciprocity.
A $50,000 prototype of a medical device, one of only five in existence, is sitting on my bed next to me. This device used ultrasonic waves to allow the body to actually grow cartilage...
I look fine, really. Actually, I'm so resilient than even I don't see my own psychological wounds. But they are there, and they are still bleeding.
When my mom and dad came to visit us during the holidays, I noticed that my mom looked significantly older than the last time that I saw her. She...
I don't you such punctuation In the title lightly. lately what I see is politics evolving into people screaming at each other nonstop, over what is right and what is wrong. losing sight of what really makes politics tick, talking. not fighting, talking.
this is something that is at a loss of...
‘I’m going to talk to him. Yes. I can do this, I can do this’.
I swim everyday but I usually don’t talk to anybody when I go. Actually, that’s one of the blessings of swimming, no spontaneous chitchat that might bring me down from the clouds. The thing is: I like my clouds. They are nice and...
Wife and I got chatting about the "Hunted" programme again.
I asked her to try the "AQ" 50 question test, she scored 11! I tried it with her checking my answers my score went up to 45?
This has led to some interesting questions about my feelings, I do have them, just don't know how to put them...
50 minutes. plus or minus a few minutes here or there to account for others being late. Discharge is right around the corner. rightfully, i am anxious. that anxiety mostly based off off a not so great weekend spent at the house. There were problems, but problems can be fixed.
this is a leap of...
I.. connect… the… dots…late… but I do.
I found the “mystery” of why my ex husband didn’t want a wedding ring.
For you, my dear reader, it might be obvious: because he doesn’t want women to know he’s married, right? But not for me. I can have something in front of me and still not be able to...
A bit of a "lightbulb" moment.
It's 02.56hrs, in the North West of the UK. Clear, starry skies with just enough wisp of cloud cover to prevent frost.
I'm awake after five hours uninterrupted sleep and grateful for those few precious hours (story for another day)
Lightbulb moment:
It's only...
I am feeling exact way I felt last night. this is a new feeling. two days in a row, i feel this way. that is not new. what makes this different is i no longer have suicide to tell me that i don't have to feel this way ever again. Now, i feel. Now, i know i will continue to have night after night...
i am not sure what to say. all i know is that I need to say something. the weekend has been taxing. i am relieved it is over, while I sit her in hospital. I fear the implications of this. i feel more at home, in hospital than at home. I enjoy time with strangers more than my own family, because...
So, part two of my post. A few hours ago, I got home after working my first series of night shifts. 7 nights in a row, just me and a surgical intern to keep the hospital running between midnight and 8 AM. It's been terrifying, exciting, humbling and incredibly invigorating all at once. But...
Delivered as promised: a new update! It's written in two parts. One written 10 days ago before my night shifts, one written today after working the graveyard shift 7 nights in a row. Part two should follow later today.
I've been adjusting really well at the hospital. Before my night shifts, I...
To feel
is to be strong.
to feel
for a great loss,
why so wrong?
i sit here bored.
others,
eyes sore
cry tears
of fear,
happinies
as uncle soars
to feel is right.
coffin wheeled
out of sight.
a great loss,
at such a cost
with time we wait
one day will be ours
it is only fate.
still...
I now have a map with all the places with hidden mines that I have to avoid in my love life. These mines are charming, exciting, intelligent men, that had unloving mothers.
I also have in my map a destination: a man with his feet on Earth, capable of love, (since he received lots of it when he...
As I promised, I am not trying to make you come back to me. You flew, and I just want to say good bye from the distance.
First of all, I want to say thank you. Only you and I know how much you saved me, how much you changed my life: there is a before you, and an after you.
You were my Peter...
I sit here now. In this hard chair
before my fingers moved
expression, a blank stare
Warm tea.
racing mind
big questions
A refuge from my life
I am trying to find
Through words I type
My thoughts into compression
ski the bottom of the hill
to express is my obsessions
I shake
either sitting...
I remember, a couple of weeks ago, that we both had a good day. That was not the norm, you being without a job, me, recently separated from my husband. The following day you told me you had had a very vivid dream. You were in a building, which collapsed, and you were standing there, unscathed...
I dreamed that I was in an apartment, in a building with glass walls, making breakfast for my kids.
Suddenly someone calls me on the phone (I was wearing my Iphone’s headphones) and it was you.
I get excited, happy, and move away from the kitchen, so no one can hear me.
You talked to me, so...
For the last several months, I’ve been in the most emotionally intimate relationship I have ever had.
It was all virtual, I never met him in person. I felt seen, loved, sexy, understood. I felt I was walking hand in hand with someone that put my best interest in the same level that he did his...
I’m very emotional.
I separated from the person that was my couple for 18 years (married for fifteen years).
I connected the dots of what was going on this week.
I was disappointed. All these years looking for a reason. Elaborating the most complicated theories.
And the answer is so vulgar, so...