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Blog entries by Aspergirl4hire
Looking at Wrong Planet's narrative and numbers, and King_Oni's recent posts, I wonder if the ability to define myself not by issues and others, but by interests and loves, is what would make the difference between repelling and attracting positive things in life.
How do I turn my engine into a...
To be a rabbit with wise eyes requires anxiety, experience, fecundity, and the ability to find a fourth way: one that is not fight, flight, or freeze. This little essay plays with the mechanics of anxiety, using Lisa Olstein's poem ("Rabbit with Wise Eyes" from Little Stranger) and Philip...
Previously: one loose end in my head got teased out, and like a pull on a knit sweater, I'm unraveling a bit. Don't hold me to any kind of standard on this post...it's experimental writing.
I connect to joy when I can run with my own mind.
If social psychology is right, we make everything up...
Previously: the Deathcake Series (have you made Deathcake?) modelled the process of how a trigger causes a cascade into crushing depression. I learned how panic actually has a calming effect on a part of my nature. But it couldn't tell me why I keep crashing and burning. It took the cumulative...
Can enough small histories help me make better decisions about what, and how, to prune the growths in my life that don't make me happy? Am I reasonably certain that I can tell a growth that's bad from a growth that's good?
Things I have to make a decision about include choir, church (the...
While I'm awaiting a reply from the writer's colony, I realized that committing to membership in effect gave me permission to have a nice thing that spawns other nice things. It's as if a blindfold fell from my eyes: the idea that I have to wait to solve all my getting-along-with-the-world...
Changing relationships--work, church, or major routines--make me behave kind of oddly. I don't know how to read myself, or how other people will read me.
Trying to resolve my choir crisis, I printed out two of my own blog pieces (Psalm 51 and Aspie reads the Book of Numbers), and the inside...
Related to the thread on Who am I?
The one thing that causes people with aptitude, ability, and ambition to become better than themselves isn't talent, or genius, or even luck, said one book I read recently. The distinguishing attribute is "deliberate practice." The perceptiveness about seeking...
"Why does tragedy exist? Because you are full of rage. Why are you full of rage? Because you are full of grief..." Grief Lessons: a Book of Questions....
I sat in the tiny, sunlit office, for the second-to-the-last-time, and the moment I sat down, I couldn't speak. I could feel an angry wire...
The first time I read that as an aspie, I would have problems with "executive function," I shrugged it off with the thought, "I never wanted to run the company." I'm fortunate in that unlike many of my siblings on the spectrum, I've been able to hold down a job (or get a succession of them), buy...
I won't quote the post that spurred this entry--or the approving(!) follow-up, but I have to say: we aspies can easily earn a reputation for cruelty, smallness, or indifference all too easily. Having a social deficit is no excuse for mocking other disabilities; the first is a given, but the...
I'm not sure I like the new contract that the client has already assumed I'll accept. However, it occurs to me that the strengths others need and draw from me may not always be the ones I want to exercise. It has already occurred to me that by not answering the question someone was presumptuous...
My doctor wanted to look at nutrition.
My psychologist thought I needed a prescription.
My psychiatrist wrote the prescription and said take exercise.
My fitness coach's ketone-burning diet put me in the emergency room.
My chiropractor tried to sell me supplements.
My former church’s witch...
Another wrestling-with-the-angels post, from an "aspiscopalian." My opinions represent myself only and express my experiences only.
I went to church this morning because I had a reading. Otherwise, I think I would not have gone.
Reading a lesson at one of the high holidays isn't an accidental...
If I could categorize these posts, this one would have Spirituality or Soulwork as its tag. I can't stop talking about this week's choir story. I just can't find any relief except from looping, and looping is burning it into my throat, closing it.
A long time ago, when I was in my twenties, I...
Previously: Energy Webs introduced my uneasiness about what makes a photograph rise to the status of fine art: it's not just a mastery of technique. I can make technically perfect pictures that bore me. What else gets in there? And what got to me on this trip?
"All houses in which men have...
The things my psyche wants me to articulate now are finally getting words hung on them. (For more on why you know what you want to say but can't say it, look at wikipedia entry on expressive aphasia. My apologies to cognitive scientists who already know this stuff. You may also enjoy Brent's...
Inspired by recent events in my life, here and elsewhere, and catalyzed by a presentation on ancient wisdom and respect for nature. Unfortunately, the piece is so short--less than 5 minutes--that I didn't get as much as I wanted.
The story opens with a man who concealed himself to take...
I had an exchange with someone once on how aggravating it is to find NT "issues" for why aspies don't behave like NTs. I bit my lip and accepted it when the mod explained (with patience, and I appreciated it) that NTs come to the board to understand, and that it's good to try to help them...
Previously: if a person is a person through other people, what happens when a person is substantially different from other people? How different can you be, and still be human? What is it I see that determines whether I greet you, flee you, or kill you?
EDIT: Related to The Social Model and...