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Blog entries by Voltaic
Right now you are reading these words. That means you are still here. Good job. You have made it through a lot to get here. You remember probably. All that bad stuff that happened; things most people don't go through, dark moments were you can see no light. You made it through everything to get...
What is potential if not reached? A constant nagging thought telling you you could have been better, should be better. When the will is not there to put the effort into life, whatever it may encompass, opportunities pass by leaving you thinking ‘What could be if I did the right thing?’I sit...
this week has been an hard one, but that is not to define how well it went. it went well. all things considering, though there were some bumps, i am still on my feet and being productive.
my first slip up is when i was going to go volunteering last tuesday. stress and anxiety built up before it...
i have been through a lot. i can say confidently, all my life i have been struggling. i can also say it started it grade three, with a horrible teacher. the problems were always there, this teacher just made the most of them. since then, grade four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven...
this is barely coherent, I started with a point, then I gave into chasing ever faster and erratic line of thought. Maybe I will finish what I started out trying to achieve, for now. Just rambles.
I am not sympathetic. most times, when people are feeling bad, my basic line of reasoning is to...
i look outside. the darkness of night touching only a fraction of the ground. nineteen lights to many take away the natural all consuming power of the dark. i add one more light, sitting here as i write.
i look in the mirror. the faint yellow light seeping through the window illuminates half...
I don't you such punctuation In the title lightly. lately what I see is politics evolving into people screaming at each other nonstop, over what is right and what is wrong. losing sight of what really makes politics tick, talking. not fighting, talking.
this is something that is at a loss of...
50 minutes. plus or minus a few minutes here or there to account for others being late. Discharge is right around the corner. rightfully, i am anxious. that anxiety mostly based off off a not so great weekend spent at the house. There were problems, but problems can be fixed.
this is a leap of...
I am feeling exact way I felt last night. this is a new feeling. two days in a row, i feel this way. that is not new. what makes this different is i no longer have suicide to tell me that i don't have to feel this way ever again. Now, i feel. Now, i know i will continue to have night after night...
i am not sure what to say. all i know is that I need to say something. the weekend has been taxing. i am relieved it is over, while I sit her in hospital. I fear the implications of this. i feel more at home, in hospital than at home. I enjoy time with strangers more than my own family, because...
To feel
is to be strong.
to feel
for a great loss,
why so wrong?
i sit here bored.
others,
eyes sore
cry tears
of fear,
happinies
as uncle soars
to feel is right.
coffin wheeled
out of sight.
a great loss,
at such a cost
with time we wait
one day will be ours
it is only fate.
still...
I sit here now. In this hard chair
before my fingers moved
expression, a blank stare
Warm tea.
racing mind
big questions
A refuge from my life
I am trying to find
Through words I type
My thoughts into compression
ski the bottom of the hill
to express is my obsessions
I shake
either sitting...
One more time. My body hurts, my body tenses as I make what I believed was my last movement to bring me pain... For the moment. I release a big breath as I hurt myself, rejoicing in the pain the movements bring.
Despite the fatigue of my body, my mind; chasing the hurt, wants more...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chat Rambles~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Let me give you a tip. Everyone is crazy, society just deems one type of crazy 'socially acceptable' it is not about being the right type of crazy, but confidence in the type of crazy that you are
Not everyone is going to like you, even if...
This is my statement
I don't want any of this. None of this at all. I want to doing in the spiral of ants, bit not I fear the pain of following the sheep in front of me in circles until death. I stood on the sidelines, hated by society. Wanted dead by society. Wanted gone be society. Wanted...
Can one reduce himself to not caring in order to not be hurt? Answering this question requires me to use both thought, and real experience. This question comes to me as I desperately try to find something to write about this early morning as I slowly wake up my brain. This question though has...
Shall we live by our emotions? Too feel, is to only be human. We can not suppress feeling sadness, nor can we hold back tears of happiness during a good movie (looking at you mom) Too feel, is a experience as humans we must deal with in our everyday, and depending on the person; sometimes every...
Well, back on my feet again. These cycles up and down do suck, but at least I can enjoy the good times while they last. Here's too hoping for a nice and long good time. I look back on what happened two days ago. The memory radiates emotion, bright and hot. That type of emotion is what often...
Being normal. It is what many of us strive to do. Fit in, don't stand out like a sore thumb, don't deviate from the expected norms, the attention received otherwise is to much to bear. Of course, this has been my way of doing things as well. There are a few problems with it though. First, a...