Rantings.

Today was the one year anniversary of my grandfather's passing; the only significant male figure that consistently stayed in my life. I still remember the events of that day like it were yesterday. The blood curdling scream from my grandmother that woke me from dead sleep which then triggered me to dart across the house, only to find his body upright on the bed and lifeless. I don't know how I remained calm enough to perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation, I just did. If only my efforts would have saved him, but I knew that there was nothing that could be done to save him once I laid eyes on him (having a bit of medical experience). You still have to attempt to save that person's life no matter the circumstance until a dispatched medical team reaches you... I remember having to tell my grandmother that it was going to be okay in an attempt to try and keep her calm while trying to complete the task at hand. I can still feel his ribs breaking with each compression. That day my family told me that I was their hero because I did something that they didn't think that they would be capable of ever doing; I didn't feel like a hero. In all honesty--- I just wanted to forget about that day. In all honesty--- I still wish I could forget about that day. This is my first time really going into detail/speaking about it, at length.