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Small Histories
- Author Aspergirl4hire
- Create date
Previously: Deathcake earthquake happens when I let panic drive my need to act, because action looks like a way to control a situation. While it's weird to see panic as a controlling technique, it's even weirder asking what it is that panic controls, and why non-action is so hard to choose even...
Previously: Deathcake is self-directed schadenfreude driven by Murphy's Law: things not only can get worse, but will, and they should do so as fast as possible. Perhaps slowing down is not such a bad idea after all--but what does that process look like?
Pain is a great motivator. It alerts me...
I'm only a middling baker, but I do know how to make deathcake. Have you had deathcake? You might know it by another name. It's that richly decadent layer cake built from self-directed schadenfreude: the convincing misery that I am just not that good, that knowledgeable, that worthy, of good...
From the east, thunder/
my horse free-foots it, shying/
I clap hand to hat/
trail partnerships/
leave marks in our deepest hearts/
going on and on/
I don't see my tears/
the trail goes underwater/
I don't hear my laugh/
the trail's silent/
I don't feel my bad fortune/
just a saddle burr/...
Taking a cue from Spiller's comment (I'd link to it if I knew how):
I made myself go into the Games Forum and had a delightful time reading threads and playing. (I think I don't like online games, except Solitaire. But these are fun games!)
I'm learning how much AC means to me, which is scary...
Today is one of those calendar dates I like: one in which an historical figure I like had (or made) something happen. Today I remember the execution of Mary, Queen of Scots [links to image from the movie Elizabeth the Great].
Mary isn't an ancestor. I wasn't named for her; there's no particular...
Over a decade ago, an art teacher running a weekend workshop told us: "Wanting to make the art is a development step. It's progress in making art."
In the years since, it has been useful for me to notice what forms art takes when I'm struggling or when I'm not struggling. When I paint. When I...
Shaken, broken:
a skinful of frozen ink
diced across the day
Sunbreak in the clouds!
It must be the crows flying
to mark the solstice.
The mountain poems
shine whitely at dawn: I can't
chant them, they sing themselves.
Eleanor's phone call:
we did not speak, but we talked--
in hazy...
Two weeks ago, I had no job, no more unemployment, no mortgage payment, and no sure hope that I could preserve my household intact. I was rationing my prescriptions and living off food boxes. I screamed and sobbed because I had tried so hard and failed so badly at life. My house quaked like an...
Too tired to say much, and too important not to make part of my blog entry.
It's still not quite real yet, even with the hour-long commute. The manager has an aspie vibe--wasn't a bit shocked that I couldn't find my car in the parking lot, was so matter-of-fact about it, without that sticky...
I've had four jobs and two rescinded job offers this year. "Energy mismatch to the team" they say, while agreeing that I have the skills they need and extraordinary problem-solving ability.
I've been "hired" again, I'm being given work, but no start date and no guarantee I'll be paid for it. I...