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Thinking styles

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I would love to hear if the following resonates with anyone in the Forum. One of the very frustrating things I have found in life is the use of language. I do not have any overt difficulty with language. If you met me you might think I was pretty articulate, but this is because I have quite a library of memorized mental “scripts” to draw from. These scripts help me mask the fact that I experience a significant disconnect between language and the way my thinking works.

According to Temple Grandin, at least, some people think in words, some people think in patterns/mathematics, and some people are visual thinkers. I don’t think I fall into any of these types, but maybe patterns. My thoughts manifest as what I can only describe as an "aroma" or feelings of associations between concepts. Words don’t do the feeling justice. It’s a feeling of the “direction of possible knowing”, the way a dog might catch the scent of something unknown in the air and then track the small. It's as if my mind creates a complex web of interconnected ideas and impressions, each with its own distinct aroma that I can sense and navigate.

This non-linear, non-linguistic way of thinking can be incredibly powerful for making unusual connections and insights, in my experience. However, it presents significant challenges when it comes to communicating my thoughts to others. I often find myself struggling to translate these rich, multidimensional web of connections into the linear structure of language. This difficulty in rapid translation makes real-time conversations particularly challenging. While others seem to effortlessly exchange ideas in a fluid back-and-forth, I often find myself needing more time to process and respond. This can lead to awkward pauses, misunderstandings, or the perception that I'm not engaged in the conversation when in reality, my mind is working overtime to keep up. Often, when I get asked a question, I am at a complete loss for words and so remain quiet so long the conversation has moved on to other things. This slow pace of communication has often left me feeling isolated, unable to share my inner world with others.

Even writing, which allows for more time to organize thoughts, can be a very laborious process. I might spend hours crafting a single paragraph, trying to find the right words to capture the essence of what I'm thinking. Just as with my other thought processes, I operate by “feel” or sense of “aroma” and if there is something wrong with the words or syntax that I have written, even if I would struggle to verbally articulate what it is. It’s almost as if written sentences are algebraic equations and I can just sense if there is a flaw in the equation.

Does any of this ring a bell with anyone? Thanks for reading through this!
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