Solitude

[Jonn]

A Man With No Friends Or A Very Small Circle Is A Very, Very Secure Man | Anthony Hopkins​

Have you ever felt alone in a crowded room? Imagine a man, surrounded by noise and chatter, yet radiating an unshakeable calm. His secret? He's found strength in solitude. In a world that pushes constant connection, this video challenges you to see the power of being alone. It's not about isolation, but about finding your inner voice amidst the noise.

 

[Jumpinbare]

Well, all I can say is I did solitude before it was cool.

 

[SusanLR]

Same here.

 

[Jonn]

I am the epitome of Mr Solitude, in RL.

 

[AprilR]

I wish i could be comfortable in complete solitude, but i am not.

Ideally i would like a few close friends that i meet with time to time and can trust. Otherwise my anxiety acts up

 

[Jonn]

Internal Locus of Identity:

When you have an external locus of identity (or at least primarily lean in that direction on a spectrum), you tend to rely heavily on validation from others and on your ability to meet the standards set by your culture/career/family/religion/etc.

How do you view your personal self internally?

To know your inner self is to know your purpose, your values, your visions, your motivations, your goals and your beliefs. Not as what you have been told by others, but what you have discovered for yourself. Knowing your inner self requires a high level of introspection and self-awareness

Internal Locus of Identity: - Google Suche

 

[thejuice]

There is zero correlation between intelligence and conscientiousness but I bet there is a heavy positive correlation between having an external locus of identity and success in school

 

[Rachie]

I need to be occupied doing something or project perhaps with some hyperfocus on it to sustain me.

Just sitting there sometimes in a quiet room as I don't like noise and don't really like the tv exceptionally as well. Sitting there so quiet, no tv alone so almost perhaps hear a pin drop for protacted for me leads me wanting to speak to myself so to speak which I do not wish sometimes as it is tiring. Then it turns on me and I will start inspecting my own life close up detail and holding myself with a high account I cannot live with. Looking to draw the best out of myself.

Sometimes I will just get up from my bed where the hounding seems to go on more and flee to my living room to distract myself. Just I said yesterday before it kicked off no me me me. I don't want to talk about me like at home I am not me me me. Solitude perhaps for some may lead to a me me me. No thanks for me. That is not me lol.

So I look for things perhaps that drama class some issues but I need to break it up.

Just for a good workout yesterday I said in my own life too many words spoken at home...keep on saying will stop XYZ around one condition haven't yet. Reality this morning in bits still will proceed but not as easy as that rach and I was trying to help coax myself but was too harsh for what left alone too long to myself massacre job on me. Now scolding myself I was too harsh but yes the actions would be nice. Left too long alone messes me up.

I need peace and quiet but I need to mix things for my mental health. I have given it over but I dread the thought just sitting in a house scrutinising my whole life for no one will hold up.

If you are that way solitude and a good book. Solitude and a job going. Solitude and a lover of TV social media. Solitude time with a pet in or outside,,break it up..Me not so but have interests but they can be completed..

 

[Jonn]

There is zero correlation between intelligence and conscientiousness but I bet there is a heavy positive correlation between having an external locus of identity and success in school

It would encourage motivation in some.

 

[Rachie]

I came back to add this. I said to myself yesterday in the Bible Jesus was hounded by the devil. Of course this is no religious thread but for example right. There is me at home in silence often sometimes turning and hounding myself for the smallest of things they can blow up then an investigation and hounding of me by me, incredible really. Not to be done. Once in a blue moon, but really not supposed to done on yourself and when living to this degree. I had one going on before for three days for nothing. I told my GP. That is why repetitive medication is often needed by to block. You would look at me and think I had in the wars poor girl after that three days and not even left the home as well.

Over a time period it is getting better. What kicked of yesterday was sharing something and then bereating myself for not being good sort of to have that experience, nobody would be good enough. Just the way it is and my gauchness. Went on to whether I am walking the walk or just talking to much to myself regards my other condition changing things up. Slowly and slowly and I can be firm sometimes and say stop I am not in agreement with hounding myself especially not for a mental health condition that is chronic. A good rest usually knocks me out and I come to and take my exit.

I am more used to it than some, like my mum no way would she cope the zooming in the self.

With interest be reading how some people do it. Marvelled at the likes of Nelson Mandela 27 years or what in a solitdue ones and comes out bright as a button.

 

[Jonn]

The Fool On The Hill​

Day after day
Alone on a hill
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still
But nobody wants to know him
They can see that he's just a fool
And he never gives an answer
But the fool on the hill sees the Sun going down
And the eyes in his head see the world spinning 'round
Well on the way
Head in a cloud
The man of a thousand voices talking perfectly loud
But nobody ever hears him, or the sound he appears to make
And he never seems to notice
But the fool on the hill sees the sun going down
And the eyes in his head see the world spinning 'round
And nobody seems to like him
They can tell what he wants to do
And he never shows his feelings
But the fool on the hill sees the sun going down
And the eyes in his head see the world spinning 'round
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh
'Round and 'round and 'round and 'round and 'round
He never listens to them
He knows that they're the fools
They don't like him
The fool on the hill sees the sun going down
And the eyes in his head see the world spinning 'round
Oh, 'round and 'round and 'round and 'round and-
Oh, 'round and 'round and 'round and 'round

 

[Jonn]

Just sitting there sometimes in a quiet room as I don't like noise and don't really like the tv exceptionally as well. Sitting there so quiet, no tv alone so almost perhaps hear a pin drop for protacted for me leads me wanting to speak to myself so to speak which I do not wish sometimes as it is tiring. Then it turns on me and I will start inspecting my own life close up detail and holding myself with a high account I cannot live with. Looking to draw the best out of myself.

When I need to focus on something, while I am corresponding, I will mute the TV, to reduce the distractions.
When I listen to something important on the TV, I will close my eyes, to reduce the distractions.

There are times where I will cogitate for extended periods.
It can be enlightening.

 

[SusanLR]

How do you view your personal self internally?

To know your inner self is to know your purpose, your values, your visions, your motivations, your goals and your beliefs. Not as what you have been told by others, but what you have discovered for yourself. Knowing your inner self requires a high level of introspection and self-awareness.

(from above #6 post @Jonn )

This is a question I think about of so many people when they say a certain belief,
trend, reason is the only truth.
Stop and be truly honest with yourself: "Why do you think that way?"
When put to the test, it isn't because you were born believing a certain way.
Somewhere along your life, someone told you, This is the truth.
And it becomes so engrained that we will always believe it without question.

This way of thinking can pertain to anything.
Usually, it can be traced back to a parental figure, a community or religious source,
or even peers stating a trend and people feel they must follow so to be accepted by the ones around them.

People fit easily into a herd mentality without questioning.
With so many various beliefs around the world, they cannot all be true, except for the section they try to fit in with.

I've never followed for the sake of following.
Observation, listening and thinking neutrally, without allowing to be led.
No need for validation from culture, religion, community, family, trends.
Good topic of discussion.

 

[thejuice]

It would encourage motivation in some.

I underachieved at school and had little interest in validation from others. Its my new pet cope.

 

[Jonn]

This is a question I think about of so many people when they say a certain belief,
trend, reason is the only truth.
Stop and be truly honest with yourself: "Why do you think that way?"
When put to the test, it isn't because you were born believing a certain way.
Somewhere along your life, someone told you, This is the truth.
And it becomes so engrained that we will always believe it without question.

Parental and social indoctrination is extremely powerful when applied to infants/children, who have immature brains with limited reasoning skills.
Jesuit saying:
"Give me the boy until age seven, I will show you the man."
This can be, and has been, easily abused throughout history, and to this day.

As we know:
Adolescence is usually when the brain has reached the threshold required for greater rational/logical ability, usually causing the reassessment of the imposed, external value system and weltanschauung.

It can take a virtual lifetime to remove some of the brainwashing.
I call this process:
"Cleaning the attic".
Some psychological assaults can be useful and maintained, obviously.

 

[Jonn]

I am ambivalent about Elon Musk, but I can identify with him here:

Embracing Brutal Honesty​

Musk’s success is rooted in his commitment to confronting reality, even when the truth is inconvenient or painful. This mindset has been pivotal in driving the success of companies like Tesla (TSLA) and SpaceX, where innovative breakthroughs often follow rigorous self-assessment.

MSN

In my mind, he embraces the true aspie ethos in this.

I too, have engaged in brutal self-reflection/honesty, and it has paid dividends in establishing a core identity that isn't dependent on the acknowledgment of others.
Being in the social wilderness, largely isolated from the support of others, can and does develop inner strength in certain areas.

Elon Musk, move over.
I am coming for your empire.

 

[Jumpinbare]

As we know:
Adolescence is usually when the brain has reached the threshold required for greater rational/logical ability,

I guess young me, the little professor, never got that memo. I remember being a very logical little brat. When someone told me something that I knew didn't hold up logically, I had to let them know about it. I'm sure that made me extremely popular. /s

 

[Jonn]

I guess young me, the little professor, never got that memo. I remember being a very logical little brat. When someone told me something that I knew didn't hold up logically, I had to let them know about it. I'm sure that made me extremely popular. /s

Well, there are different levels of maturity for different individuals, in addition to the level and type of logical thinking, dependent on brain development.

I was a "little professor", also, but my quality of reasoning improved once certain parts of the logical brain (prefrontal cortex) matured to a certain threshold.

During adolescence, the brain begins to develop abstract thinking capabilities, as opposed to concrete thinking.

Here we learn about adolescent cognitive development. In adolescence, changes in the brain interact with experience, knowledge, and social demands and produce rapid cognitive growth. The changes in how adolescents think, reason, and understand can be even more dramatic than their obvious physical changes. This stage of cognitive development, termed by Piaget as the formal operational stage, marks a movement from the ability to think and reason logically only about concrete, visible events to an ability to also think logically about abstract concepts.

So, there is a degree of cognitive ability before adolescence, but it is mostly constrained to concrete reasoning.
With further brain and life-experience development, abstract thinking is possible.
This is the period where most adolescents discover the philosophical question: "Why?"

One of the considerations I have entertained is that it is the lack of (positive) social experience, which may have an inordinate influence over the degree of personal development, compared to socially well-adjusted NTs.
Many of us were loners, and with that came reduced shared experiences.

This was more predominant in my time, where there was no social media or Google available.
Those of us with comorbidities such as dyslexia, tended to avoid reading books (guilty as charged), which further increased the developmental gap.

This explosion of information availability, in general, could explain the apparent maturity of younger ppl, these days, compared to much older generations of my era.
Food for thought.

Adolescents are now able to analyze situations logically in terms of cause and effect and to entertain hypothetical situations and entertain what-if possibilities about the world. This higher-level thinking allows them to think about the future, evaluate alternatives, and set personal goals. Although there are marked individual differences in cognitive development among teens, these new capacities allow adolescents to engage in the kind of introspection and mature decision making that was previously beyond their cognitive capacity.

Cognitive Development in Adolescence | Lifespan Development.