Do you have a strong sense of self?

[Wireless]

Hello,

Today I was reading an old thread on Quora which was discussing why people with BPD have a poor sense of self. In the first answer a person claimed that people with autism have a strong sense of self. https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-w...uffering-from-borderline-personality-disorder

But, this conflicts with what I've heard about women on the spectrum.

What do you think about this?

Thanks

 

[toothless]

interesting.
the article mentions 'light autism',i have so called severe autism [well im moderate classic now but thats what i was up until my adulthood]i have a weak sense of self not strong, this might be why i ended up misdiagnosed with personality disorder [they never told me what exact PD,but i asked the pysch who had known me since a late teen if i had a PD and he said i do not and it should never have been diagnosed].

 

[Jute]

I have a very strong sense of self. From my perspective there are only two types of people in the world, me and not me (everyone else).

 

[Katherine Rawstron]

Yes, I think so, especially now I understand why I do and think the way I do. I've always been a bit of an oddity, but didn't know why until now. So many things I thought were just me or didn't realise weren't normal have finally fallen into place and I can accept myself for who I am.

 

[Mia]

It seems I do have a strong sense of self. It was all the 'training' involved to exist and function well, as a female in the neurotypical world that attempted to erode it, over time.

Eventually that sense of self does return, as it never really left, it was sublimated. I'm certain it must be the same for aspie men as well.

 

[On the Inside]

I have a strong sense of self, it doesn't change much from one situation to another, I am what I am so to speak. But it was hard for me to separate sense of self from self esteem. They are related, but not the same, and my self esteem wavers from situation to situation. I am what I am, but in some situations that is fine and good, in others it's not so good.

 

[hiraeth]

There are two facets to self, one that would still be relevant if it was just me and the rest of the universe was a void, and another that exists and is formed in relation to and interaction with the rest of the world. The internal workings vs the interface. I don't have a well defined interface, and I don't know how to make one that makes best use of what lies under it.

 

[Mia]

I don't know how to make one that makes best use of what lies under it.

Neither do I. Never could be who I actually am, as if that were unacceptable to many people I've known. Suppose that it began when I was a child, learning that
who and what I was had to be trained out somehow.

 

[hiraeth]

Neither do I. Never could be who I actually am, as if that were unacceptable to many people I've known. Suppose that it began when I was a child, learning that
who and what I was had to be trained out somehow.

You know what really baffles me? The need that so many people seem to experience, for other people to "know who they really are".

I don't get it at all. But it seems to be such a big deal especially in modern western culture, with all this individualism stuff.

Very very few people have ever gotten to know the real me, and those happened because the individuals in question had shared characteristics. We recognised each other not with words and concepts and labels, all of which I find shallow and misleading, but by intuitively seeing our own patterns of behaviour and response seamlessly mirrored in the other. That is the only way that it can happen, otherwise it's simply not possible. And I'm not interested in trying to make it possible. I know me. I don't need external recognition to feel [more] real in the fact of my existence.

 

[Nitro]

I would like to think that I am an individual that blazes the trails that others follow,if you get what I mean by that

 

[WereBear]

Neither do I. Never could be who I actually am, as if that were unacceptable to many people I've known. Suppose that it began when I was a child, learning that who and what I was had to be trained out somehow.

I sometimes wonder if NTs go through the same "forced conformity process" we do, only, they don't mind.

I was described as "willful and rebellious" by my mother, who was baffled about my refusal to do what I saw as Stupid Things.

"You have to do them, everybody does them," she would say, and I would respond, "But it's stupid."

Wearing a light summer dress and putting a non-breathable nylon slip under it; sleeping in hard curlers; social lying; not being allowed in the adult library when I could obviously read on that level; the world was a constant set of senseless rules.

And I refused to play.

I knew what I liked and I knew what made sense.

 

[Mia]

We recognised each other not with words and concepts and labels, all of which I find shallow and misleading, but by intuitively seeing our own patterns of behaviour and response seamlessly mirrored in the other. That is the only way that it can happen, otherwise it's simply not possible. And I'm not interested in trying to make it possible. I know me. I don't need external recognition to feel [more] real in the fact of my existence

I've not experienced that kind of relationship with other people. With the exception of a relationship with a parent, that was one-sided and more like enmeshment with a narcissist. Perhaps that is why there was and still is a desire to achieve a kind of validation, when you own personality is subsumed at a young age. You do quest for a kind of connection again, in a less psychologically destructive way in recognition of self.

 

[Wireless]

Thank you for your replies.
I am questioning what it means to have either a strong sense of self or a weak sense of self. I am not sure how to define these concepts.

 

[WereBear]

People with a strong sense of self know what they like and are not easily swayed. Bad news: stubborn. Good news: they tend to make decisions that are right for them, instead of just obeying others and then be unhappy about what happens next.