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Problems with phones

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DeltaVee

Well-Known Member
Hi there - i am new to this forum so bear with me

Does anyone else there have problems with making/receiving phone calls from people they don't know?

I can talk on the phone with friends, but anything involving phone calls to unknown people is a major problem for me. This has been a problem in jobs all my life.
 
Hi,

Yeah, I have that problem. I wont pick up anonymous phonecalls and for "formal" calls I rather send an email instead of a call, since I'm not really good at keeping it "formal"... however, I'm like that with personal contacts as well. I prefer written contact over talking. I lose track too fast if I'm talking, especially if I'm talking about stuff I barely care about. I can talk to friends about my hobbies for hours, but if I have to phone about a job, I can't really keep a good convo going after 30 seconds. I want phonecalls to be brief anyway, and not full on conversations. I once had a job at a callcenter... for 3 days, until I figured out that this makes me way more stressed and I wasn't really "good" at it. The entire "professional" attitude that comes with it, as well as the script you have on screen didn't work for me.

So yes, you're not alone :)
 
I have this problem too, there's really only one person I can talk to on the phone and thats my mum. Anyone else, no way, can't do it, I can't seem to get myself to talk, I just freeze.

This really sucks as a lot of "Hey, you might like this job" emails always say "call me on ....", I always reply with "I'm not a phone person, please send any info and I will look over it", then do nothing because I just can't get myself to touch the phone, I hate it.

And my mum is always like "No, you just don't want to, you can if you wanted to.", I always try to explain to her, but no, she understands AS and goes on about Bill Gates and how a lot of other AS people are out there living their lives. That's when I quote some stuff she's said to other people when she's tried to explain it, "they're at a higher functioning part of the spectrum than I am"

And then we're back at the start with "No, you just don't want to". Which is when I walk away, most of the time while telling her to GFHS, quietly of course, but more recently I've started not giving a crap and just said it out loud.
 
I have a problem with phone calls, if my boyfriend is here, I pass him the phone. I do get nervous when someone I know calls sometimes, because then I know I am gonna be obligated to talk for a period of time. With my brother and sister it isn't so bad, because I usually enjoy talking to them at least for most of the time, and its alot easier to tell them I need to get off the phone. I have even once or twice been able to things like, "I can't think of anything to say, so I am gonna hang up now" or "ok you are annoying me now, so I am gonna hang up" and they don't really seem to get offended.
 
I dislike talking on the phone with most people. It's uncomfortable for me and it makes me nervous. I avoid it as much as possible. I don't even like talking on the phone with friends. I never answer the house phone when it rings, and I reluctantly answer my cellphone for my parents or official business.
 
I hate talking on the phone, period. It really stresses me out, and the stress increases tenfold when it's a stranger. On a sort of unrelated note, does anyone else feel bad for telemarketers? I hate when people hang up on them, and I think I'd have a real problem succumbing to pity and buying something I don't need.
 
I'm not a phone person either. Anyone I actually really need to talk to regularly knows enough to txt me. I typically let the phone go to message & I can listen to whomever it is when I feel like it. The worst thing is when the home phone rings. We only have this archaic landline because we need it to receive & send faxes. Telemarketers often phone on this line right at mealtimes. Tres annoying. I've never really felt sorry for them because most of them are scams trying to get my bank/credit info over the phone so they can rob me blind! I don't get rude with them; I just say, "Non, merci! Bonne soiree!" & hang up: I never get obnoxious & tell them to go F$%& themselves or anything like that.
 
I can't talk on the phone, with anybody. It's problematic when I'm with my family, especially my mother, and she's talking to a relative and says to them--without asking me!--"Here, wyverary just walked by, say hi to him! Wyverary, here, say hello to grandpa!" and shoves the phone at me. I think I've finally convinced her not to do that, but it used to drive me mad and freak me out. I almost always communicate by text. Occasionally my close friend will call me if she wants to hang out or ask my opinion, but I never phone her myself.

I go all-out with texting, though. I compose them like a letter...they wind up being too long to fit into one message, so they get broke up and the person will receive six separate messages in succession. I always insist on using proper syntax and grammar, too. Everybody probably thinks I'm neurotic (which isn't entirely inaccurate)!

However, at least when it comes to family, I don't have a problem with video chatting. I would never call my brother up on the phone, but every now and then we'll get on Facetime and spend an hour or so gabbing, and showing each other our little projects (he makes his own wine and likes showing me the vat he's currently working on; I suspect he might have a milder form of AS, as well).

buckyboy, I do feel bad for telemarketers, and also for bill collectors. I've stopped answering calls from numbers I don't recognize, though, so at least they don't have to deal directly with me and my grumpiness. :)
 
Heh.. I addressed it earlier, the job at the callcenter... as in fact, I was such a telemarketeer. Horrible job, lol. I had to sell people "green power" and use all kinds of lies. To make it worse, I was supposed to lie from where I was calling as well, so it looked like I called from the company that sold said product. I'm terrible at lying, I'm terrible at using the phone... I had no idea what my "trainer" when I first went there for the job saw in me thinking I was good enough...
 
I have worked in call centres for the past 10 odd years on and off and I can easily do it for a job (once I am confident in the job.. takes a few days / week or so) but talknig to friends and family, I can't wait to get off it and I've been told I am the WORST person ever to try and get information from when on the phone haha.

I mush prefer text, email or social websites as opposed to talknig on the phone. I'm good in person, just not over the phone. I can't take in all the information given too me and I think I am very one track minded when on the phone, so if I have several things to think about or deal with, I get lost and don't always do everything needed
 
Thank you all for sharing your feelings - I feel much better about my fear of phones now I know that I have friends here who are the same - thank you. Please don't call me!! haha
 
Have a similar problem. This is too difficult for me to make a call and I need to plan carefully the scenario of the conversation - this may take up to 2 hours. When I have to call somebody - even my friend or girlfriend - I usually plan this call. For example I called my past girlfriend strictly tuesdays and thursdays in 9:00 PM. I also became very anxious when planned scenario of the conversation follows unforeseen way ruined and even may go shutdown.
 
Oh, absolutely. I hate the phone--ditto what almost everyone above says. Volunteering for a political campaign phone bank for about 10 years ago was the last time I tried to "cure" myself. I've gotten better at dealing with it at work (I've learned to just suck it up). One thing I have found that helps when I have to make a cold call: I literally script out what I'm going to say.
 
Anybody have a hard time talking to even super close friends on the phone or over Skype? My closest friend wanted to Skype tonight and I just sorta panicked. I like texting because I can slow down and think about what I'm going to say. Plus the video part of Skype freaks me out. I hate being on camera.
 
bri65tastic said:
Anybody have a hard time talking to even super close friends on the phone or over Skype? My closest friend wanted to Skype tonight and I just sorta panicked. I like texting because I can slow down and think about what I'm going to say. Plus the video part of Skype freaks me out. I hate being on camera.
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I do, in some ways talking on the phone feels like more pressure to me, i am more aware of pauses. My sister hates silence so when thing lull in conversation she starts singing "dadadadad dadada" just to fill up the silence. or she will start saying random words and repeating them. I also get nervous when i haven't talked to someone in awhile, its like i gotta relearn how to be their friend, but if i would tell them that they would get offended. I don't like being on camera either, I am so self consious about the way i look. on like skype and stuff your face is staring back at you, sure you can click over to another window but its still there.
 
I haaaate talking on the phone. I'll take all the time in the world to have an entire conversation via text as long as I don't have to actually speak. I hate the way my voice sounds on the phone (or on any recording) and I can never get the hang of the rhythm of the conversation. We have this one IT lady at work who's very nice and I actually like (I don't like many people at work outside of my usual work area) but she drives me nuts when she calls to work on computer issues. She pauses for the longest time and I don't know if I'm supposed to reply to what she just said, tell her goodbye, or just hang up. Then I stress about it for hours afterward about how much of an idiot she must think I am.

Pella said:
I also get nervous when i haven't talked to someone in awhile, its like i gotta relearn how to be their friend, but if i would tell them that they would get offended.
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Thank goodness, I thought that was just me! Whether on the phone or in person, if I haven't seen/talked to a friend in a while then it's going to be very awkward until I can get comfortable with them again. I've been like this my whole life and it's always driven me crazy. I just couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. You have no idea what a relief that is!
 
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I have difficulty knowing when to begin speaking. I've never been able to get the rhythm of conversation right.
 
ive gotten used to being on the phone but i stll dont enjoy it. i can do a skype voice call though if its with a good friend. but i prefer texting or instant messaging.

i hate answering the house phone though. sometimes i will if its a call for me.

mostly i just try to avoid the phone.
 
I've always hated talking on phones, especially if I have to call someone I don't know. I have to know a person really well to be comfortable talking to them. Sometimes I even have difficulty with people I do know. I just don't like the whole idea of talking on phones at all.
 
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