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Problems with phones

Sometimes at work I have to call people to schedule interviews, and I hate it. I have to script out everything I'm going to say, and leave blanks for their answers to my questions. Then I have to concentrate on talking like I'm not reading from a script.
 
I am truly difficult to raise on the phone, I will not answer unless i'm expecting a call and only return messages if it is something I have to do.
 
My problem isn't just with people I don't know. I have to call my viola teacher to schedule every lesson and I get anxious every time and put it off. My mother tells me that I sound dead when I talk on the phone. I really prefer to text.
 
I definitely prefer email. It's so much easier to get a full understanding of what the other person has said by reading it over and over, and you have as much time as you want to reply, so those confusing conversational rhythms aren't an issue.

However, I don't mind, and often quite like talking on the phone to someone if I'm the one being called. I feel like it puts me in the position of power. Where I get to go, "oh, hello, who is this? Explain yourself? What is your business?" even if I've looked at the caller ID. The only annoying thing is that I apparently have a very feminine voice, and am constantly mistaken for the male occupants of the house. Also, sometimes - almost always - the person on the other end of the line simply doesn't respond. They used to not hear my "hello," so now I wait a moment after accepting the call/ picking up the phone before I say it. Other times, there is always an awkward pause, because I'm hardly ever the one they're after, and they don't recognise the voice. Most of the time though, they just ask if my parents are there, but the mum of one of my little sister's friends one time just went, "hello! Helen!" as if she was at the front door, not talking on the phone, and as if she didn't realise that, with 5 people in the house, there was an 80% chance that it would not be "HELEN!" on the other end of the line.

When I'm the one calling someone else, though, it's very scary. I can't bear the sound of that mechanical ring that could any moment be interrupted by the voice of an oblivious person to whom I have to seem purposeful. The only people I can confidently call are my family and my Aspie friend. I can call other people, but not without getting a panic attack. I actually prefer more business-like calls though, but when I'm a customer. I think of the formality as something safe and structured to hide behind, as long as its a typical call. I haven't really tried to get a job yet, but I imagine it must be very nerve-racking, for the reasons that many of the people on this thread have already outlined.
 
I've gotten fairly good at it, with a lot of practice. The one thing I still can't handle is calling somewhere and ordering food. Thank god most places do online ordering now, but sometimes if I'm out with my husband and we want a pizza I'll have to find the number and then pass the phone to him. He thinks I'm nuts :D
 
Cerulean said:
I've gotten fairly good at it, with a lot of practice. The one thing I still can't handle is calling somewhere and ordering food. Thank god most places do online ordering now, but sometimes if I'm out with my husband and we want a pizza I'll have to find the number and then pass the phone to him. He thinks I'm nuts :D
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I do the same thing! My husband likes supreme pizza (or some odd combinations of meats and veggie) with light cheese and I love lots of cheese and just mushrooms. So our pizza orders are always complicated and I know I'll forget something if I'm the one to order. Same thing at Subway!
 
I hate talking on the phone. Even if it's with a person I like, because I always run out of things to say, and I keep repeating the same line or question over and over. It ends up looking pretty stupid. I'd hate to work at a front desk for a job.
 
I work for a phone company.
I used to talk with customers all the time, but they were calling me, not me calling them.
Granted, i helped the customer, but i had to make an offer to sell something on each call.
That was the worst.

I still work for the same company, i just don't talk to customers anymore.
I don't like talking on the phone at all, ever.
Unless it's my dad. I like talking to him. Then again, i'm the only girl in the family and i'm spoiled rotten as far as he's concerned. ;)
 
Oh, forget to mention, I can never leave messages. Talking to a little gadget, without body language but just the person's voice, is bad enough for me, but talking without any verbal or visual response is just unbearable. I'm frequently uncomfortable with speaking monologue-style, so when no one is actually listening, but I know that they will listen at some stage, it just really unnerves me.
 
Christian T said:
Oh, forget to mention, I can never leave messages. Talking to a little gadget, without body language but just the person's voice, is bad enough for me, but talking without any verbal or visual response is just unbearable. I'm frequently uncomfortable with speaking monologue-style, so when no one is actually listening, but I know that they will listen at some stage, it just really unnerves me.
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Me too! I wind up saying "Um" a lot, with lots of awkward pauses, and it tends to be very round-about in general. I'm not sure that's purely an Aspie thing, though, as I know some "NT"s who do the same thing.
 
music.forlife7 said:
I hate talking on the phone. Even if it's with a person I like, because I always run out of things to say, and I keep repeating the same line or question over and over. It ends up looking pretty stupid. I'd hate to work at a front desk for a job.
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i talk on the p hone with a online friend in texas and we both never have much to say so we talk abut the dumbest stuff haha. it's funny. but yeah i rarely have much to say and end up having a lot of silent moments.
 
I can never quite figure out what's with the voice coming out of the little plastic box I'm holding:

Soup: Good afternoon Mme.X, this is the _________ returning your call...

Client: Were you trying to reach me? I left a message.

Soup: Yes, you called for an appointment.

Client: Do you have an opening for tomorrow at 2?

Soup: Let me check the schedule...Yes, 2 o'clock is open...

Client: I'm not sure I can be there at 2...How does Friday at 5 sound?

Soup: ...Yes, we can see you on Friday at 5...

Client: I can't be there at 5. What about Monday?

Soup: I'm sorry, but Monday is booked solid.

Client: Then how about tomorrow at 2?

Soup: (beginning to go completely nuts) I'll book you for tomorrow at 2, Madame.

Client: But I told you I cannot be there at 2. How about I check my schedule & call you back?

Soup: That'll be fine. Thank you & have a nice day!

This happens all the time & these are successful people. How do they function at all? Then, sure enough, this same person calls back & the entire dance begins again but with different times and dates. I also get people calling the same day asking to be seen at this or that time. When I tell them that there's someone else in that time slot, they ask if I can squeeze them in (?!? WHERE?!?) SURE!!!! I'll just ask Mme X to scoot over on the treatment table & make room for your self-important but.
 
^ T'was funny.


My friends always text me since they know well that I never pick up their phonecalls.
I'm ok with talking to my mom (and to a lesser extent, my dad) on the phone though, because they understand me and know I hate talking on the phone and keep the conversation very short, and always call me when they're sure I'm alone (I hate talking to anyone when other people are there), and will not become upset if I unexpectedly say "bye" and finish the call.
 
So pleased to find this thread!

I can't stand speaking on the phone and no one seems to get it.

I can do it at work, because it's like I'm acting or playing a role or being silly. But otherwise, there are just too many unknowns.

What are they thinking? Are they pulling a face when I talk? Are they about to speak, etc. Too many impossible signals and cues to decipher. Was that sarcasm, are they frowning, are they bored...?

I much prefer text because I'm forced to take it as read. Unless someone adds a smiley it's not foolish of me to believe that they mean what thy say, as it's there in black and white.

My real preference is for email, as I can take my time and say what I mean properly.
 
Same here, except it's worse with me when I'm calling a store. They answer and this is what happens: Me: "He-" Person: "Hello thank you for calling _____, how can I help you?" Me: "-silence-.... Ummmm" Person: "Hello? Are you there?" Me: "Oh, umm, ya. Do you have ____ in stock or wherever?" Person: "One sec!"*puts on hold* Me: "Where the f*** did she go?" about 5 m later: Person: "Hello?" *Scares me so bad, I hate it, especially when their hold doesn't have music* Me : "Oh He-" Person: "Hello?" Me: (kind of pissed now) "Hi" main synopsis is: I hate calling. I check online if a store has something for a much longer time then the call usually lasts if there is one. I also never know when to say bye on the phone.
 
Iskios said:
^ T'was funny.


My friends always text me since they know well that I never pick up their phonecalls.
I'm ok with talking to my mom (and to a lesser extent, my dad) on the phone though, because they understand me and know I hate talking on the phone and keep the conversation very short, and always call me when they're sure I'm alone (I hate talking to anyone when other people are there), and will not become upset if I unexpectedly say "bye" and finish the call.
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Ugh, I can't talk on the phone if I know I'm being overheard either. I'm not sure why- I don't really have private conversations on the phone and as far as I know I don't speak weirdly or too loudly or anything. I just don't like it. When my boss asks me to make a bunch of calls I'll usually find an empty office that I can dial from.
 
Christian T said:
Oh, forget to mention, I can never leave messages. Talking to a little gadget, without body language but just the person's voice, is bad enough for me, but talking without any verbal or visual response is just unbearable. I'm frequently uncomfortable with speaking monologue-style, so when no one is actually listening, but I know that they will listen at some stage, it just really unnerves me.
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I'm bad with leaving messages too. I usually start off alright, but by the end of it I speed up and end with "thanksKBYE!"
 
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