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Spectrum and pornography

L

Lena_131309

Active Member
Dear All,

I am new to the forum and this is my second thread. To make it short (I have problem with that ;), I will try to not go into too much details. I am seeing a guy (since few weeks), with self-diagnosed ASD and I am trying to understand the reasons of some of his behaviour.

Just to make it clear, I know guys watch porn (not only guys to be fair) and some of them watch a lot. No issue with that. My question is - he is very open about watching it as well, and watching a lot.

What is different, he is doing it during random tasks, like e.g. cooking (not videos then, but just photos). My understanding of watching porn is that you do that when you are relaxed and put your full attention to it. It seems like pornography plays significant role in his daily routine and the reasoning for it is more complex that I would normally associate with it.

Am I overthinking it or is there a special connection between him having spectrum and being so much "connected" to the pornography. Is it the same connection as with video games?

Please share your opinion and thank you very much in advance for it.
 
tree said:
Related to the current topic.>
https://www.autismforums.com/threads/pornography.14975/#post-279878
Click to expand...
Thank you very much, I have read all the posts and unfortunately have not found too many answers...Or I found contradicting ones. From what I've read, most people there actually find it as something very negative (or even discussing), and the ones that actually confirmed doing that, to some extend divided the reasoning into 3 different categorises:

(1) Watching porn gives them the possibility to "experience" something they have no possibility to experience in real life
(2) Watching porn gives them actual pleasure and it is easier to manage because it does not require real social interaction (however, this concept was somehow declined by few people there)
(3) Watching porn gives them (usually incorrect) guidelines how they "should' behave in case they are going to experience the real life situation (with most of the commenting giving the credit to the amateur videos)

I do not see how the above categories could be applied in the situation I described above, but maybe there is different reasoning behind (or combination of the above)...I do not know. Anyway, thank you for the link.
 
I didn't read your other post, but just based on this one I would say the best thing to do is

f1d0de131fc88ddbae64fe5dd74abc9f.webp
 
Lena_131309 said:
Thank you very much, I have read all the posts and unfortunately have not found too many answers...Or I found contradicting ones. From what I've read, most people there actually find it as something very negative (or even discussing), and the ones that actually confirmed doing that, to some extend divided the reasoning into 3 different categorises:

(1) Watching porn gives them the possibility to "experience" something they have no possibility to experience in real life
(2) Watching porn gives them actual pleasure and it is easier to manage because it does not require real social interaction (however, this concept was somehow declined by few people there)
(3) Watching porn gives them (usually incorrect) guidelines how they "should' behave in case they are going to experience the real life situation (with most of the commenting giving the credit to the amateur videos)

I do not see how the above categories could be applied in the situation I described above, but maybe there is different reasoning behind (or combination of the above)...I do not know. Anyway, thank you for the link.
Click to expand...
Could he have some sort of porn addiction? Or it could just be a lack of understanding of social norms, I suppose some people would be quite happy to look at porn while doing boring things like washing up, but feel it is not socially acceptable to do so.
 
NothingToSeeHere said:
Could he have some sort of porn addiction? Or it could just be a lack of understanding of social norms, I suppose some people would be quite happy to look at porn while doing boring things like washing up, but feel it is not socially acceptable to do so.
Click to expand...
Don't really know. He actually said that he had to really limit that as in the past he was close to get addicted and watch more and more intense videos just to get on the "next kick", so I guess it could actually be sort of addition at the end.
 
My ex was addicted and this was some of our reason for breakup. I have a girlfriend whose ex had a similar problem and they separated also. It can turn into addiction and that is a issue- no doubt
 
Yuck. My first husband was addicted and also so computer ignorant that he couldn't clear his cache, and this with two kids in the house; also he got some sort of virus that made his laptop show a porn picture at the opening - as my teenage daughter informed me! And of course he had no clue how to get that off of there. I told her not to use dad's computer any more.

My second husband enjoys a bit of erotica but he doesn't leave a trail, so I have no issue with it. Well, I do ... sex workers in general are an exploited class of people, in my view, and I don't believe in supporting that industry. I'm not prudish; but I'm not all that okay with pornography.
 
Lena_131309 said:
Am I overthinking it or is there a special connection between him having spectrum and being so much "connected" to the pornography. Is it the same connection as with video games?

Please share your opinion and thank you very much in advance for it.
Click to expand...

Not that I can see. At least no differently neurologically speaking than the experience of our neurotypical counterparts. That peoples' individual libidos and sexual choices vary.
 
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.
Lena_131309 said:
Dear All,

I am new to the forum and this is my second thread. To make it short (I have problem with that ;), I will try to not go into too much details. I am seeing a guy (since few weeks), with self-diagnosed ASD and I am trying to understand the reasons of some of his behaviour.

Just to make it clear, I know guys watch porn (not only guys to be fair) and some of them watch a lot. No issue with that. My question is - he is very open about watching it as well, and watching a lot.

What is different, he is doing it during random tasks, like e.g. cooking (not videos then, but just photos). My understanding of watching porn is that you do that when you are relaxed and put your full attention to it. It seems like pornography plays significant role in his daily routine and the reasoning for it is more complex that I would normally associate with it.

Am I overthinking it or is there a special connection between him having spectrum and being so much "connected" to the pornography. Is it the same connection as with video games?

Please share your opinion and thank you very much in advance for it.
Click to expand...

I agree with @Judge on this. I would NOT conclude this behavior is associated with or is exclusive to ASD.
 
I like watching porn. It’s not a substitute for real life intercourse, but it’s a pleasant visual experience for me and it’s an addiction to my sex life. However, I only watch it for the purpose of sexual gratification as sort of a masturbatory aid. Watching erotica during other activities would just be distracting to me, and frankly rather pointless.
 
I don't think he likes porn because he's on the autistic spectrum, but it could be that his oblivious use of it when you are there is related to his brain difference, alongside his gender conditioning, which for some males could affect this topic in that he may have picked up during his upbringing and social conditioning a sense of privilege which can make men sometimes unaware or a bit oblivious to others around them, especially children or women, who are culturally seen as less important.

If you don't like this way of doing things, which presumably you don't, or why post about it, you would need to let him know, and be ready to reason with him, perhaps saying this is up to him when he is alone, but not what you want to see around the place when meeting up.
 
Bolletje said:
I like watching porn. It’s not a substitute for real life intercourse, but it’s a pleasant visual experience for me and it’s an addiction to my sex life.
Click to expand...

Dr. Freud is wondering if you intended to rephrase that. :confused:

I'm guessing you meant "addition". Not so?
 
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I don't see why you don't just ask him outright.. In a curious, non-judgemental way..
Doesn't sound like he's shy about it.. So.. Just ask.. You'll probably get a more accurate answer that way than by asking us..
 
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