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Cutesie

Cutesie

V.I.P Member
Struggling to exist, trying to believe in change. From New York City
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Profile posts Latest activity Postings About

  • Cutesie
    When contributing to certain "fun" threads, I do a search in order to ascertain that my entry hasn't been used yet. Without that challenge, I don't see the enjoyment of the exercise. I know that I've mentioned this point before (two months ago), but I wanted to say it again, so I am.
    Cutesie
    Oh, my! For once, I can truly empathize with those who have serious panic attacks. I'm experiencing the worst physical symptoms of anxiety that I can remember, and it's not close to what I've read about in other people's accounts.
    Cutesie
    Tomorrow's my intake appointment at a PROS outpatient mental health program. I'm quite nervous, expecting something to go wrong for some reason. Maybe I'm more nervous about whether it's really a step in the right direction, as opposed to another delay in getting the help that I really need.
    Cutesie
    Cutesie
    Update on Tuesday night: The place is totally not for me, and I should've known it. (I did; it's confusing.) I was there today as a participating observer, but it's over. They're going to reapply me for therapy and psychiatry at that agency - almost square one.
    Cutesie
    Following my admission on ADISC - another support site where I contribute - I'm saying here as well that my city of residence is New York. It's been my only home.
    Cutesie
    Since around noon on Thursday, I’ve felt perfectly fine. When I’ll leave this place isn’t at all known yet, but I have patience and amn’t worried about it.
    Cutesie
    I’m still here on the psych ward, medded-up. That’s all they do for you, except for finding ways to make you miserable with their policies. I never felt more autistic than now, and they haven’t given any leeway in order to make me comfortable.
    Cutesie
    Cutesie
    I’ll have more to say about it, but my time online is short.
    Cutesie
    It was very surprising that we have Internet access here, because that wasn’t my previous experience elsewhere. My anxiety is quite high. Medications have started, but I don’t know if there’s anything besides that this stay can do.
    Cutesie
    Is there a specific reason that the "Watch" feature doesn't work properly? On another forum using the same software, I get notified about every thread that I'm watching. It's different here - and I'm not the only one to experience it. Is it an intentional setup or a glitch?
    FayetheAspie
    FayetheAspie
    There have been some other functions that have not been working for me recently.
    Cutesie
    I'm proud of myself today. During some of the discussions here, there was a constant urge to mention a certain subject. It wouldn't have been helpful, and I've been successful at holding back.
    M
    Misty Avich
    I have that urge every day and have to control it. Sometimes I can't, then I get angry at the consequences. But I never personally attack others, because it isn't in me to (not implying anything about you, I'm just giving my two cents).
    Cutesie
    I feel so trapped sometimes when writing. It's definitely easier for me to express myself with it better than with speech, but I still can't get across what I actually think.
    Rocco
    Rocco
    Sometimes I paint to express things I cannot articulate. Perhaps you could try painting, drawing, or some other creative endeavor to express yourself.
    FayetheAspie
    FayetheAspie
    I don't think I have ever understood the idea of expressing oneself through drawing. To me drawing has always been seen as a skill to master. And my ocd tendencies can always find something that didn't turn out precise enough. 😅
    Cutesie
    An aspect of this site that is challenging is the number of sections. There are 26 of them within the forums.
    Cutesie
    One thing that upsets me greatly is when someone takes an action affecting others without explanation that (I think) warrants one. I'm greatly upset now.
    View previous comments…
    Cutesie
    Cutesie
    I'm waiting for a reply from any one of the moderators.

    That this resource isn't available is distressing enough. People not explaining makes me crazy.
    Cutesie
    Cutesie
    Update: It's an automatic thing that happens when a thread reaches 1,000 replies, so that the site doesn't lag. At the moderator's suggestion, I simply created a new one.
    Cutesie
    Cutesie
    Now all that's left is for me to feel terrible for being so high-strung. I hate when my emotions get this way. It's happening all the time.
    Cutesie
    Before adding to "A-Z Adjectives" or similar fun threads, I search to see if the word planned has been used already. One recent search found eight results - five by a single member.
    Cutesie
    Cutesie
    Now I see another one with 27.
    tree
    tree
    Words that start with "X" aren't impossible, although sometimes
    people think they must be.
    Cutesie
    For three days, I found myself unable to write first-person pronouns. It was frustrating and made using forums (this one and others) difficult. Perhaps I'll share some time what was going on inside my brain - as much as I can understand.
    Crossbreed
    Crossbreed
    "I found..." "Perhaps, I'll share..." "...as I can understand."
    It looks like you are getting your first-person pronouns back... ;)
    Cutesie
    Cutesie
    Yes, I only mentioned the problem here after the "cure".
    Cutesie
    Cutesie
    During that time, I avoided writing just about anything on this site, because it would've been awkward to explain. In a different chat room, which is used much more by me, I was still limited, but they know me and my idiosyncracies better.
    Cutesie
    Since suggesting that hospitalization may be necessary, my anxiety shifted to mild depression. This week I am okay - not that much better than that, a bit on edge but as well as I've felt in months. There are also periods of euphoria.
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