It might rain on Saturday so my plans to hang out with my first female at the church park event I know is going to be ruined. I just know someone is going to happen Easter weekend next week to ruin it too. I just can't be happy.
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Tony Ramirez
Single Aspie 47 From Brooklyn, NY
- Joined
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- Viewing thread I'm too stupid to ever go back to school.
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I had so many one in a million things happen in my life recently I don't think I should believe that nonsense anymore.
I think I finally broke my autistic burnout even though colors still look vivid.
I found out I am not the only neurodiverse person in my church. There are two other women in my life groups one with ADHD and another with the same autism as me but women show it different.
I hope I see my friend tomorrow. I miss seeing and taking to her since she went back home for a week.
I still can't stand profanity. I will never accept it. But I still am controlling my anger when I see and hear it.
I was able to unmask with my yoga teacher, therapist and lifegroup today and no one judged me. They actually known friends and siblings on the spectrum.
Just went out tonight. Colors are amplify to the extreme. I thought it was at first it was an update to my phone and tablet. Thought it was strange my MacBook had enhanced colors too. Now even watching TV after days the colors are intense. This is autistic burnout.
What a Pita it is to tune in my YouTube feed to get rid of those faith based videos. I tried removing them from my history but like wake a moole they won't disappear.
Had to share this.
Listening the opinion of two non Christian random lives of a guy doing a tour of a China park and Swedish women cooking food giving life advice without all that stuff I been hearing about righteousness and crap. It was a relief.
Why am I cursed with autism when most people are normal?
My friend I meet at church during the lock down was there. As soon as he talked to me after the service I broke down. I told him everything. He understands. He got me through the lock down meeting in person when places were closed. I felt much better now after.
Had to leave and go to the hallway. I could not take the people or noise. I could not even greet anyone. No one greet me. I am in the hallway listening to EDM to try to calm me down but people are still walking around. So far every person ignored me anyway.
I have the signs of autistic burnout.
https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/autistic-burnout
I'm not looking forward to today.
I think going back listening to EDM music will clear my mind and made me feel more uplifting.
How can I be getting better sleep now that I am so depressed? Who cares. I need the sleep. Who needs people anyway.
I'm depressed again. I am slowly losing my friends one by one because if my stupid autism and my constant oversharing/ over friendliness. I might have lost two friends again today including the new one. Most of us are destined to live alone forever.
Even though my life is so much better now my sleep is once again poor again. -
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