It would be nice to be at the top and work at a top global firm or a globally top uni, but I think it might not be sustainable not only for me but for anyone. For me not my IQ is the problem, at least not in the way that it's too small. I have a feeling like I make an impression of having more hard knowledge than I really have, because I have a large working memory and I can reason and operate on things I have never seen before. People often don't understand that the info takes time for me to sink in and don't understand the difference between short term and long term memory, because they don't have a disparity between them or rather... most people don't have a good short term memory at all. Can remember less than 6 digits or other symbols at once and forget what they were doing a not long ago, need repetition to be able to work on the information in the moment. So to sum up, I think my mind works differently than an average mind and I'm poorly understood in that aspect and by the eduvation system. Working memory is actually proportional to IQ. But I can't keep up with the very top stuff, because I have other difficulties, the non-academic ones first and foremost. Autism plays a role in it, because I can't keep up with household chores and my sensory issues are a reason for significant difficulties in daily life, but I don't have the right kind of health and stamina for it too, I need a lot of rest and I'm not the kind of person who is happy with just pursuing career and not having interpersonal relationships and fun and relax. And I get clinical depression if I'm devoid of what makes me happy and can't funtion at all. Feelings make it or break it for me. I can't just bite my teeth and function when something is wrong emotionally - or sensory and health too. It takes an unemotional or asocial person to be a really top performer. Yeah. Complaint over.