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Meetup.com needs to be banned.

On second thought however, maybe it's better that they do ask for a reference for some people who have to work with the public. So I guess it depends on what sort of volunteer work it is. I've only ever worked with animal sanctuaries and my contact with the public was very limited.
 
Maybe there are places you could volunteer to help clean. You might not be good at it at first, but you can get good at it.
Minimal interaction with people when you do that.

Maybe your therapist can help you find place(s) to volunteer to start.
 
paloftoon said:
Kalinychta implies that when most people think of "nice", yeah they do think of "being polite". But being polite is not enough if people want to form deeper bonds. And there are the things we can't control 100% such as our physical looks.
I think Tony wants to build those deeper bonds. I think he can sense when he has no chance for it to happen. I also think people can sense what I am guessing is Tony's lack of sophistication and interests.
People generally want that in some form too.

Tony, I think volunteering is a good way for you to start off because the rules are more straightforward. You can build yourself to become smart about what you need to do and build up to understand social and physical nuances around you. With these social groups, you might have to be able to "hold your own" and I'm guessing it's more than difficult for you to have this assuredness in a random group.

There are probably autistic support groups that would be good for you to look for to- as they are more likely to understand your mannerisms more overall.
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That’s not what I mean by “nice,” no, no. I think niceness is a form of manipulation by men who describe themselves as “nice guys;”—it’s a kind of false alibi for insecurity and a shield against real, honest self-reflection. @Outsider mentioned henpecked husbands and boyfriends—yes. Women don’t respond to “nice”—it’s boring, and stale, and an old trick by old dogs.

I think volunteering is a great idea for Tony. Focusing on and helping other people rather than staying in solitary confinement within one’s own head tends to have a quite self-revolutionary effect.
 
Zain said:
I don't even want to begin to describe to you ladies how men talk about women when you aren't around.
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Such as the way you talk about women on this forum? That we’re shallow, conceited, naive, cruel, and entitled?

The vast majority of men on this forum don’t talk about women the way you do. You’re in a very, very small minority. And if you think men-in-general talk about women the way you’re implying, you really need to expand your social circle.

I can tell you’re not an idiot by the way you write and the fact that you’re reading Schopenhauer, which, nowadays, is extraordinary. Get off of the cult incel websites and start thinking for yourself again, which I believe you’re more than capable of doing.
 
When I was in college, two of my classmates were talking nonstop among themselves about certain aspects of female anatomy. the others didn't find this topic interesting.
Most men mention pretty women in their conversations and don't talk much about the other ladies unless the ladies are very intelligent.
Sometime men talk about their heartaches but not in my presence because I don't lend a sympathetic ear. I don't complain about my social difficulties and expect other men to do just that. I'm not going to go around blabbing about my girlfriends. Suck it up, guys!
 
Tony Ramirez said:
Or at least come with a warning to not let disability people to use it.

I had my final mental breakdown today with this app. I tried a recent city walking club. Basically no one talked to me not even the leader.

When I thought I connected with a woman and talked for a few minutes walking with her these two guys interrupted me rudely then they dominated the conversation. Then I was left out.

I nearly slipped on ice and two women ignored me. When crossing an interstate I was nearly hit by a car but no one cared but when others crossed they cheered them with no traffic.

Only my 6 month pregnant friend from church frantic cheered me up and got me home on the phone having a meltdown.

Site is nothing but one big clique.
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But that is not the case...that is your very limited personal experience with a group or groups in your town...all the meetup groups that i have ever dealt with (the exception being when only one other person showed to an event) were actually quite nice and enjoyable...not abelist or 'cliquey' at all.
 
Had issues, sickness death in the family.
It has changed. I been too a few new meetup. It's been an much better experience. A new sports Christian group. A new board games group. Trying some other new sketching groups. Really it was my attitude. But I had issues thinking some women hated me which was not true. It was my RSD.
 
I think you're better off with the thread remaining as it is, @Tony Ramirez.

That way you can follow the way your thinking has progressed.

The ups, the downs, the additional experiences.


Tony mentioned 'redacting' , but has since removed that from his post.
 
BTW, the cityscape is the image from Astoria where the Meetup I go to in Queens to do Bible study and play sports.
 
1743529894801.webp
 
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