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UberScout

UberScout

V.I.P Member
Please Don't Be Mad At Me 02/09/1996 29
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  • UberScout
    I may not have access to my own install of I7 but at least borogrove.app is keeping me sane letting me express creativity in playable form. As many serious projects as I have that I haven't been able to add onto, I can rely on borogrove's cloud so my newer ideas won't be so hard to reach...
    UberScout
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAGAGAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.......... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUEEAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    tree
    tree
    Expressive, but not informative.
    UberScout
    Has anyone else ever been so depressed that it kinda collapses into itself like a neutron star and turns into happiness out of nowhere?
    View previous comments…
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    You always sounded happy when you read horoscopes, l noticed you hadn't mentioned that for awhile. Family life, been there, and regretted that. Hopefully things have been better for you.
    MildredHubble
    MildredHubble
    @Knower of nothing It's not outside the realm of possibility. I used to call the experience of depression transmuting into a high mood "bouncing off the bottom" before I was diagnosed. I would recommend @UberScout tell their doctor about this experience.
    All-Rounder
    All-Rounder
    Happened to me at dark times in my life, not often but yeah. Sometimes through writing, sometimes music, other times the opposite. I'm glad things got better, creeps me thinking back to recent times but I somehow improved various parts of my life past few years.
    UberScout
    16845991222234990173866362415752.webp

    yall thought I was done with making text adventures
    But yall forgot
    My computer's right next to me. Just ain't got a mouse or a power cord yet.
    But that's why GOD GAVE US
    P A P E R
    View previous comments…
    All-Rounder
    All-Rounder
    Tamagotchi everywhere. I love the real good ones, and these remind me of them.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Haha, yeah. I only got those two and a nano, I also have a digimon. All the batteries in them are dead though
    All-Rounder
    All-Rounder
    I imagine the batteries would be dead with me too. :rabbitface::chestnut:
    UberScout
    Stick has returned once again from the land down under, and he came bearing the gift of premium weed! Maddog and I also had a very serious but wholesome father/son talk about how to straighten up and we settled our previous differences, and I must have passed one of his tests because he gave me some of it to have for myself! It's so strong it's reaching my third eye!!! I just had a vision...
    View previous comments…
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Look, it just works, okay?! Pills aren't doing anything for me anymore, they haven't for a long time! If anything they slow me down! If I have to get high to stop myself from jumping off a bridge then maybe that's the missing piece.
    tree
    tree
    It's not the weed use I was talking about.
    It's the repeated turmoil.
    Seems like nothing really changes, except in the most temporary way.
    Then the situation reverts.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    ...Oh. whoops. Yeah. Their relationship hardly counts as that; it's more like just a chemical reaction that just causes explosions. They never take the time to talk things out, even my sister said so.
    UberScout
    My meltdowns are peaking, and I now risk having police called on me to send me to a "scared straight" program if I do not straighten up, instead of the hospital (loopoong story, you'd have to talk to my parents) The good news is, after deep meditation last night I think I am starting to understand my rage problem more, and I might have an idea how to tame it somewhat. First and foremost is, I haven't healed fully.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Second, I'm beginning to realize there appears to be a scale with my hypersensitivity, which I THINK is what could be linking somehow to the rage, or at least colliding with it, so to speak. All I need to do is find the in-between of that scale and tease it out somehow.
    UberScout
    I was laying there last night, about to do it, and then for some reason instead I found myself asking God to show me proof that he is real and cares about autistic people. I looked out my window and I saw a cloud shaped like a flying dove. I can finally be happy again.
    MildredHubble
    MildredHubble
    I'm very glad that you didn't go through with anything that might have been harmful. It's good that you saw something that made you feel more positive again. Remember we are all here to talk so never be afraid to reach out! :-)
    UberScout
    UberScout
    I feel like I got golden wings, bruh!!
    MildredHubble
    MildredHubble
    That's great news :-) Take care of yourself and I hope those golden wings will keep you safe and flying high for a good long time!
    UberScout
    I'm going to look for a way to get off this planet. I won't ever forget what this forum has done for me. If only I could have met you guys in person...
    MildredHubble
    MildredHubble
    Are you ok? I'm sorry if I've misinterpreted your post but I am concerned.
    UberScout
    Being born was the absolute worst thing that I could ever be stuck with.
    All-Rounder
    All-Rounder
    We didn't ask to be born. The morality of birth in the sense of consent of an individual is never taken into account. That is partly why I'm an anti-natalist.
    UberScout
    I am very, very swiftly losing...no, shedding my ability to feel emotions, and losing the will to speak freely... if my family does not care how I'm doing mentally, then I will not care to treat my mental health. It becomes pointless when nobody acknowledges or appreciates any effort you put into it.
    View previous comments…
    All-Rounder
    All-Rounder
    Interesting, I too find myself worried about my mother's death at times, because I only had dad die, but also because I think life can be in ways easier if somebody's there, shared house responsibilities. But my approach towards her other times is typically wanting nothing to do with her because she's so toxic. I could get over her hoarding or slob ways, but not her attitude.
    All-Rounder
    All-Rounder
    Her bp was apparently high, but maybe she was panicking more so, because the staff on call was saying its not high enough to worry, she was shaking in bed. I still don;t know what happened there but I was unfortunately there to help her out and call the services, lol.

    It had always fascinated me how good I can be to the people who don't give a **** about me.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Yikes, scary. Like I said we didn't even know anything was wrong with my mother until she was bleeding from the mouth & barely breathing. Her blood pressure still gets to heart attack level sometimes and even that hasn't gotten her, thank god.
    UberScout
    I now understand why some of media's most loved/hated villains become evil. The most prominent example is probably Joker.
    UberScout
    So maddog told Me to get out of the kitchen, despite the fact I was putting g away a gallon of milk and another gallon of tea that my mother had brought home from the store. He did not care. Milk/tea has to be stored cold or else it will go bad. I did not want this to happen. He did 't care. I got my stuff and left... and then my sciatica kept acting up, making me realize how hard that was going to be.
    tree
    tree
    Were you able to finish putting the milk and tea in the refrigerator?
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Yeah. Not before I schlepped my backpack over my shoulder and a skateboard so I wouldn't have to walk. Unfortunately I could only get so far before sciatica started happening.
    UberScout
    Well, I just woke up and got a shower. Feeling better. I think I was just frustrated last night...
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Understandable. Emotions are like weather, always changing, and serve different purposes. Sometimes you get a good forecast and can expect what your emotions will be, and other times they are a bit of a surprise. Glad to hear you are feeling better.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    GNGHK MY NOSE FEELS LIKE A PIECE OF PLYWOOD
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