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Metalhead

Metalhead

V.I.P Member
Bang your head! Metal health will drive you mad! 46 From Bedlam
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  • Metalhead
    So I broke my sobriety today. I am such a loser. And I only have myself to blame. The beer tasted great, though.
    View previous comments…
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    You are a humanbeing. A flawed, well meaning, humanbeing.

    I too still fall into those negative traps myself. But when I do, I journal everything I was thinking. Once I calm down enough, I'll read it over and try to recall why I thought the way I did. Sometimes our own words leave clues to that answer.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    You aren't a failure at all. You didn't drink for a very long time. Do you know what thoughts or triggers pushed you into that black hole of emotions? I wouldn't focus on what you were drinking, l would focus on what you were feeling.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    Did you get drunk? Probably not. Maybe a little bit? Well, that happens sometimes. Do you still have an impressive sobriety record? Sure you do, because you go for massive stretches of time without drinking.

    You're tougher than your demon family and I know you are going to be okay.
    Metalhead
    I am vomiting up coffee grounds. The last time this happened was a decade ago, the doctors discovered a massive ulcer. I hope this is not the same thing all over again.
    View previous comments…
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    I went to my primary care doctor. He sent me to the ER. I will keep you updated.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Oh dear. Please let us know.
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    I have another ulcer. Not the worst thing in the world, not the best either. No more junk food for me for a while.
    Metalhead
    I feel like diving into a miasma of self pity, having a self pity party complete with Red Velvet cake and French Vanilla ice cream, blowing out 45 candles, one candle for every year I wasted.

    OK, I just made myself laugh by typing that out, so it can't be all that bad.
    Metalhead
    Sorry for being so whiny recently. I will overcome this clinical depression eventually if I keep working on building myself up in the meanwhile.
    Misty Avich
    Misty Avich
    No need to apologise, it's healthy to get things off your chest. I hope things work out for you. *Hugs*
    Metalhead
    Maybe a break from the Internet and from news media is not the worst idea in the world for me, at least until I feel a bit more stable on the sleep front.
    Metalhead
    I need to sleep for a few hours, a few days, a few weeks. I need to hibernate. I feel such strong fatigue with life.
    Metalhead
    I am craving fried chicken, Mountain Dew, potato wedges. Things that are bad for me.
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    Honestly, the fried chicken and potato wedges are good once in a while foods. Though Mountain Dew is the soda I'd not reccomend, even if I still drank soda.
    Metalhead
    I just consumed a cup of hot peppermint tea. I am trying to wind myself down.
    Judge
    Judge
    Yikes. The mint tea I drink has plenty of caffeine in it.
    tree
    tree
    Mint itself doesn't contain caffeine.
    High caffeine "mint tea" would have to be a blend.

    I'm allergic to caffeine.
    Metalhead
    Forget toxic positivity. Unhappiness is sometimes not a choice that can be made like flipping a bloody light switch.
    Metalhead
    I would be getting drunk right now if I did not have to go to work tomorrow morning.
    tree
    tree
    What about....exercise?
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    Yeah, I should go to the gym and run on a treadmill for a couple of hours.
    Metalhead
    My brain felt like it was being jackhammered, but a cup of coffee cured that.
    Judge
    Judge
    Yep...what I call "Go-Juice" to get back on the right track. And it works!
    superboyian
    superboyian
    You can't go wrong with coffee. Usually a good brain stimulate (but of course in moderation).
    Metalhead
    Just got home from the show. This was the main attraction, a local band named Floater. They put on an amazing show. I did see a couple of drunks get violently escorted out by security, but outside of that it was a chill crowd.
    IMG_0231.webp
    Metalhead
    I painted targets all over myself and then I acted like a victim when cruel people shot at those targets. I am the only one to blame here.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    You didn’t paint the targets when you were a child.

    I think there’s great value in taking accountability for your adult self and how you are going to move forward. But blame is not often a helpful thing.
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