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  • Users: Owl
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  1. O

    This girl from Youth Club

    Another story this reminds me of. When I was around I don't know maybe 13 to 15 (it's been a long time, don't recall exact timing) there was a girl about a year younger than me that got a crush on me when I didn't reciprocate. I was a little suspicious it was happening because the girl started...
  2. O

    Social pressure regarding marriage

    Reminds me of how I felt when I was 18. Constant social pressure to get married, but I had been publically shamed as unmarriagable (long story). As in on an almost weekly basis people would get up in church and make shaming comments on people who hadn't dated anyone recently, but most girls...
  3. O

    This girl from Youth Club

    Put it another way, in a healthy relationship once things are far enough along that you are having serious feelings everyone will need to be able to communicate clearly regarding whether the relationship should continue. Its almost impossible to be "just friends" after things have gotten to...
  4. O

    This girl from Youth Club

    I concur you probably want to slowly drift away and find someone else. That can be hard, but yes there isn't anything healthy about that description. When I was a teenager there was a girl I had a major crush on who liked to cultivate multiple quasi romantic interests at any given time plus...
  5. O

    Musical instruments you like to play, or think are neat.

    I grew up playing trombone and really loved it. But life and chronic stress got in the way and I wasn't able to keep it up. One of the problems I discovered was that it isn't considered a solo instrument, so it was hard to find satisfying music to play when I wasn't part of a band or...
  6. O

    Feelings for work colleague

    I'm leaning towards it being a small organization doesn't necessarily make it better. Large organizations may have more rules and are more formal but can often easily survive firing a few people if things get out of hand. Smaller organizations will be more likely to fall apart completely if...
  7. O

    Why ask a complete stranger how they're doing? Just me?

    I don't mind the rhetorical social ritual aspect of "how are you" "fine" type exchanges though I'm no good at initiating them and have to remind myself to mirror them back when people use them on me. What I object to is people refusing to accept "fine" as a reply and insisting on getting a...
  8. O

    what are you thankful for this year?

    Playing music. I've been grateful for being able to play music.
  9. O

    Stress Monitoring Wearables

    If the fitbit Charge series can prompt for relaxation exercises based on heart rate instead of just offer them on request I'd be curious. Let me know what its like.
  10. O

    Stress Monitoring Wearables

    I think most of the stress monitoring wearables I saw didn't go beyond having a chart that you could review to observe after the fact that your stress may have been elevated at, oh say 3PM yesterday. So far the only multi purpose devices I have spotted that claim to do in the moment alerts for...
  11. O

    Stress Monitoring Wearables

    Work is offering cash incentives to do healthy things and part of that includes wearing a fitness tracker. While looking into different fitness trackers I discovered a model that claims to monitor your stress levels via heart rate variation and give a vibration notification suggesting doing...
  12. O

    "You use autism as an excuse."

    Totally agree. It is like asking if it is possible to run a computer without a GPU and expect it to run normally. Technically yes. In practice using the CPU to handle all the activity that the GPU used to handle will make the CPU slow down to an unreasonable extent. Doesn't mean it is a bad...
  13. O

    "You use autism as an excuse."

    That sucks. I can be kind of paranoid about talking about being on the spectrum because it is unpredictable when people might turn hostile. It is part of being human that people have different emotional needs and when emotional needs and skills are mismatched it makes life really hard for...
  14. O

    Asperger's and Metaphors

    If I am distracted or tired or in a new situation I am more likely to take things literally on accident. Most of the time the possible literal meaning and the intended social meanings are both obvious possibilities that form a funny contradiction. Pointing these out makes for a lot of puns. I...
  15. O

    Annoyed with talking about special interest with NT's

    I tend to start from the assumption that no one will really want to talk about anything I am interested in. Problem is when an idea has caught my mind I have trouble thinking about anything else, so I tend to have very few conversations. I am not sure how to balance valuing myself enough to...
  16. O

    Is this really life with us?

    My wife and I have been married about twelve years. Probably one of the best things we did while dating was to spend time reading books about asperger syndrome as a mechanism for being intentional in getting to know each other and becoming aware of how our relationship might work. So while my...
  17. O

    facing down past

    Same kind of thing happened when I read pretending to be normal for the first time, except worse then. Went obsessive on it for about two weeks and could hardly think about anything else. It seems every so often I need a book like this as a mental tune up.
  18. O

    facing down past

    I have been reading the Loud Hands anthology. I have owned it for some time but have only recently had time to read it. Wish it were an audiobook. It has been an emotional roller coaster to read. It is very helpful for dealing with the self blame cycles but at the same time pushes me to...
  19. O

    Changing Religions

    No, different denomination. I'd rather not say which to avoid possibly making anyone uncomfortable.
  20. O

    Changing Religions

    Yes I changed within the last several years. My ethical framework was out of sync with the group and my sense of how to discern truth was out of sync. These were systemic enough issues that we were no longer welcome at the old church and the leaders were finding rumors as excuses to subject us...
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