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  1. jtab7800

    I feel like it's time for me to lay down and give up on everything

    In my reply to Rodafina, in the part where I typed "After my favorite guitarist, Eddie Van Halen, passed away, I learned that, in a way, he and I had something in common. When he and his brother, Alex Van Halen, came to the USA from the Netherlands when they were kids in the 1960s, all they had...
  2. jtab7800

    I feel like it's time for me to lay down and give up on everything

    Come to think of it, I think I do feel like I'm not in control, and that I can't make changes happen. I'm not sure what online resources you might be talking about. I wish I could get creative with ways to find and utilize support online. I've searched before, and have had a hard time finding...
  3. jtab7800

    I feel like it's time for me to lay down and give up on everything

    Actually, I am older than 30.
  4. jtab7800

    I feel like it's time for me to lay down and give up on everything

    I've never run away from home before, but I have thought about living in a different place before. There are things I would have to learn in order to do that. When I was in school, I had teachers who said that they thought I was a fast learner. That made me wonder if I was. I read the lyrics in...
  5. jtab7800

    I feel like it's time for me to lay down and give up on everything

    Thank you.
  6. jtab7800

    I feel like it's time for me to lay down and give up on everything

    Thank you. I hope there is light at the end of the dark tunnel that I've spent so much time walking in.
  7. jtab7800

    I feel like it's time for me to lay down and give up on everything

    She has wondered if I need to go back on it. The last time I was on an anti-depressant, it screwed with my head in ways that I do not want it to again. I don't know why it did that.
  8. jtab7800

    I feel like it's time for me to lay down and give up on everything

    Thank you so much for caring. At the time when I typed my post, I felt so horrible about myself and the things going on with me. I don't ever want to feel that way, nor do I wish it upon anyone else. When it comes to meeting people online, I feel like I never know which way it'll go. There are...
  9. jtab7800

    I feel like it's time for me to lay down and give up on everything

    Things keep getting worse and worse for me. I can't get through to my mother, and get her to understand anything. in 2024, she's been worse than ever before. If you read this, and you don't know what I mean by some of the things that I say, you can look at other threads I've posted, by clicking...
  10. jtab7800

    I feel like I'm not in a good place

    I hope things can get better for all of us too.
  11. jtab7800

    I feel like I'm not in a good place

    My mother will be 68 this year.
  12. jtab7800

    I feel like I'm not in a good place

    I recently realized that I haven't posted anything on Autism Forums since September. Things haven’t really gotten any better. So far, I’ve done two threads since I joined this forum over a year ago -- this one and this one. I’ve elaborated on some things in each of those two threads. And things...
  13. jtab7800

    From a heart that has never found its way in the world

    Got the results of my biopsy a couple of days ago. They didn't find any cancer, so that's a relief. Now I can focus on getting my life together, if I can.
  14. jtab7800

    From a heart that has never found its way in the world

    Got my biopsy done. Now I'm just waiting for the results, which I likely won't know until at least this coming Thursday. As for my mother and I, things have gotten a little bit better with us recently. She's been showing signs over the past month of doing better. She does love me, and she's...
  15. jtab7800

    From a heart that has never found its way in the world

    I don't know if anyone will read this, but I've been wondering if life's worth living for someone in my situation. I've got no choice but to let my entire life stay lonely because no woman on this Earth wants me, or could ever want me, because I feel like none see me as being just as human as...
  16. jtab7800

    From a heart that has never found its way in the world

    I don't know if anyone is going to reads this or not, but I truly feel like I'm alone in the world, and being alone is one of my two biggest fears, the other being a fear of death. If you combine those two fears, it's beyond terrifying. Now try to imagine what kind of fear my medical scare adds...
  17. jtab7800

    From a heart that has never found its way in the world

    I'm sorry I haven't been on here since Mother's Day. I'm currently going through a medical scare, so it feels like things keep getting worse for me. To be honest, I've always wanted to do something with my life, instead of being nothing, like I have been so far in my life. I haven't really...
  18. jtab7800

    From a heart that has never found its way in the world

    This is not an angry message, and I'm not referring to anyone in these forums, but it's from a person who's been emotionally beaten up enough to be pushed to the edge. I always knew it was never likely for me to have anyone in my life, under any circumstances whatsoever. Things have gotten worse...
  19. jtab7800

    From a heart that has never found its way in the world

    With the day I'm having today, of all days, on Mother's Day, I can tell you that Earth, in my case, is an impossible place for Aspies to be happy in. I feel like my mother is against me on so many things, unless they happen her way. She makes me feel like everything has to be her way or the...
  20. jtab7800

    Introduction from

    I agree with you on a lot of things. And I would never inflict domestic violence on anyone, because that's not who I am. What I said, though, was that I wrote a song that's against domestic violence, and it encourages people to love instead of hurting each other. The song was inspired by a...
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