13 year old asperger without motivation to learn

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

Another detail I forgot - he hates reading He's a poor reader. Does this match this syndrome?

Explain more if you can. Does his eyes want to jump around back and forth in books or articles, out of order, or like does he skim read instead of reading all the words and details? Or both? Does he say why he hates reading? My wife skims and can read out of order. She likes reading only topics that interests her. For me, I hate reading most books and long articles, regardless of subject, as I have a need to remember every detail and reread otherwise. That need to have perfect memory for details drains me. I never get drained writing as I think and process things fast and learned to communicate well by writing since a young age.

 

[Bella Pines]

@Dadwith2Autisticsons, no you're quite right, I had to lookup "comorbidity", never too old to learn

His mother thinks that the school grades are the most important. Are grades really indicator of copying in life if someone wishes to become great car mechanic and has talent?

Well, the western education system attempts to mould every human into clones, when many children, for many reasons, don't thrive in such a rigid structure. I appreciate where the Montessori method is going, but this isn't really mainstream acceptable yet.

So whilst I continue to believe in a more flexible and accepting society, unfortunately, this needs to be balanced with practicalities. And to survive in society today requires a degree of conformity. So yes, whilst his mother and teachers are completely overlooking an amazing talent and destroying a part of him, he does need the grades as a foundation for later in life. Now, how they go about doing this is a problem, forcing him is clearly not working and counterproductive. So, how to go about getting him some classic qualifications whilst not destroying the spark and helping him reach his full potential is the real challenge.

I think he's an awesome but complicated kid. Great sense of humor and imagination

This is the turning point. Never, ever underestimate the power of what you say here.

In my 20s, I was struggling to hold down a job, in fact I was struggling with everything. I had one manager who saw something, some potential. He believed in me without any real reason and no matter how much I played up, he still believed in me. I thought he was an idiot. But so it continued for several years, and slowly and surely I began to believe him and started to live up to his expectations. That recognition of a special talent, that belief has stuck with me my whole life.

So regardless of the diagnosis, professional intervention, the complexities and drama of the situation, never ever underestimate this, your belief alone will have a huge impact on his life. xx

 

[SchrodingersMeerkat]

I was this kid. The ONLY thing that helped was incorporating my special interests into the lesson. I also have a math disability when for YEARS people told me I was just being lazy...because since I could remember "everything" about meerkats and animals, I could make myself remember mathematics. I was also told I could never be a veterinarian because of my trouble with math so I just gave up all together and stopped trying at all.

 

[SchrodingersMeerkat]

John Elder Robinson has Asperger's and was a mechanic AND a high school dropout.

 

[AnnDo]

So regardless of the diagnosis, professional intervention, the complexities and drama of the situation, never ever underestimate this, your belief alone will have a huge impact on his life. xx

Thanks, I'll do my best. I think that a big part of success in life is to believe you can succeed.