I feel like my life isn't my own, ignored and fallen through the cracks. Like I'm not the captain of my own ship, stuck on someone else's auto-pilot.
And I just don't feel I have the energy to fight it or speak up for myself.
An ignored time-off request sending me on another spiral. Maybe I'm just over reacting.
But are policies not put into place in order to be followed and not ignored?
My S/O planned a birthday trip for me this weekend. He gave me a month's heads up, so that only slightly lessened the anxiety that trips/planning usually gets incited in myself.
It all comes down to the stress it causes me to ask for time off. Because in the past, no matter where I worked it always ends the same, with my requests being denied or ignored.
I should add, I am a line cook. So asking for a weekend day off, is always just "lol".
I requested the time off on March 1st. It was approved the same day by the owner/manager. Of course she didn't communicate that to my chef/kitchen manager and he just copy/pastes the same schedule as usual.
I will add I reminded him Friday night about my request. And added a physical note to the current schedule. He told me to remind him after the schedule is posted Monday? What universe is that logical?
And now the single idea of having to speak up for myself, redundantly so, seems overwhelming. When I have just made my intention clear. I just wanna give up.....this job already has me not giving any Fs but this incident adds to the fire.
And now my S/O doesn't seem to empathize with how the simple task of asking for time off always completely overwhelms me, to the point I don't ever bother to make plans.
I'll probably post a different topic about the relationship issues I have later.
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TLDR: does asking for time off seem impossible to others? Or is it just me? I have to say foodservice isn't very accommodating, specially for a depressed/anxiety stricken aspie.
