Abnormal response to SSRIs in autism

[MildredHubble]

Yikes! I just found a company that provides the same sort of test, it's nearly £800!!! That's out of my price range for sure!

Feels kinda dumb that they don't offer this through the NHS. Imagine if they'd just conducted such a test when I was in my late teens (although I'd imagine the technology may not have been available then), if they had known SSRIs would cause me problems, things may have progressed very differently.

I still firmly believe that SSRIs triggered a genetic disposition to manic episodes. I do wonder sometimes if I would have developed a serious mood disorder if not for the SSRIs.

The really irritating thing is that back when I was first given an SSRI, there were lots of stories in the news about people acting strange and becoming suicidal after taking certain SSRIs. So when I asked my GP for anti depressants, I asked not to be given Prozac and explained why. He didn't tell me at the time he was giving me something so similar, it may as well have been Prozac. I really think my GP should have mentioned that.

The other thing is that on the TV at the time there was a TV comedy drama program I used to watch and the way they represented Prozac, it made it out to be like an antipsychotic. So when things got really bad and I was experiencing somewhat of a manic/mixed episode and I wanted it to stop, I asked for Prozac, thinking it would work like it did in the TV program.

Stupidly, due to my naive fear at the time, I wasn't so forthcoming and if I'd told them about the symptoms I was experiencing, they probably wouldn't have given me Prozac. Little did I know, that far from controlling the odd experiences I was having, it actually made it all massively worse.

I have had this issue only with escitalopram and it made me feel jittery and gave me OCD, it made me feel a bit too happy, but not severely, the agitation was the worst. The OCD was that when I was feeling anxious, I couldn't stop and think before engaging in the compulsive behaviour

This actually sounds very similar to my experience with Prozac and Sertraline. The way you describe it, I get the impression it was perhaps milder for yourself. I guess things started off like that, pretty mild for a while.

Back then I had always attributed my introverted personality type to the depression and anxiety. So you can imagine, when I lost that inhibition, things kinda snowballed. I remember feeling great about it at first, but then a whole load of other symptoms began that were frightening.

It's hard to really describe fully, but I feel like the way you described it works quite well, not being able to have that moment where you think "Is this a good idea?" to yourself. There were times where life just felt like a series of flashbulbs moments. Quite disjointed with no coherent "narrative".

I used to think it was like that movie "Memento" where the protagonist can't form new memories. There's a scene where he is running, but he doesn't know why. You hear his voice say "Am I chasing this guy or is he chasing me?" then they fire shots at him and he realises they are chasing him.

I can't watch that movie now as I find it quite triggering.

 

[vergil96]

The way you describe it, I get the impression it was perhaps milder for yourself. I guess things started off like that, pretty mild for a while.

Yeah.

The OCD didn't appear out of nowhere, I generally have mild symptoms that don't interfere with my life and I learnt to live with them. It's all interconnected, some things originated as stims, e.g. counting random things as a way to stay focused, then they passed on to be tension release when anxious or to not lash out in an inappropriate moment. I have some symptoms of hyperactivity, I was the kid that everyone would point to as having ADHD, I learnt how to control myself with age, but it remains channeled or kept at bay through seemingly obsessive behaviours. So... it didn't appear out of nowhere, but definitely got out of control.

It's hard to really describe fully, but I feel like the way you described it works quite well, not being able to have that moment where you think "Is this a good idea?" to yourself. There were times where life just felt like a series of flashbulbs moments. Quite disjointed with no coherent "narrative".

I used to think it was like that movie "Memento" where the protagonist can't form new memories. There's a scene where he is running, but he doesn't know why. You hear his voice say "Am I chasing this guy or is he chasing me?" then they fire shots at him and he realises they are chasing him.

I can't watch that movie now as I find it quite triggering.

It sounds awful, I'm sorry you had to go through it.

 

[vergil96]

The other thing is that on the TV at the time there was a TV comedy drama program I used to watch and the way they represented Prozac, it made it out to be like an antipsychotic.

I guess it's highly individual how someone reacts to the meds. It did work like that for me, not in a good way, it made me feel sleepy, drowsy and zombified. Escitalopram was way too energizing, as I described above. Sertraline was a happy middle ground. So I wouldn't say they're not different at all - for me tey work very different. But it isn't the case for everyone, it seems.

So when I asked my GP for anti depressants, I asked not to be given Prozac and explained why. He didn't tell me at the time he was giving me something so similar, it may as well have been Prozac. I really think my GP should have mentioned that.

It's awful, but poor interviewing on the part of the doctor and going for the most common solutions instead of asking for specifics happens. I'm sorry this happened to you, I have had a similar story with endocrinological treatment, and it's awful.