With the dishes, she had just lost track of time. And really I am fine with that. It's not like I was saying "Do the dishes woman! That is your place" lol. It was definitely nothing like that. All I am saying is that I left to go get groceries and was gone for about an hour. I knew that if she would get the dishes done and I help with laundry when I got back that after that we could play a board game or do something fun together. When I got home I did the dishes and helped her finish laundry when I was done, but we ran out of time and had to go to bed for work the next day. We both work in the school district. She is a Special Ed teacher and I am a computer tech. This was on the weekend where we did not have anything going on except relaxing. We always do date night on friday, relax and do something fun on saturday, and relax for part of the day and then get chores done on sunday. She knows the routine, but there are times where getting her to understand the importance (no matter how I explain it) of getting chores done can be very difficult. Its difficult to be understanding when its 3pm on sunday (we normally start chores around 1-2pm) and I ask her to do something so that we can multitask, and I tell her that it would be fun to play a game before bed. She says that sounds fun but she just wants to finish the chapter. I say okay and then leave. I get back and find the TV on and nothing is done. She knows that helping with the dishes would have made me happy because we could have played a game that night (something i was looking forward to). She read a 2nd chapter and then lost track of time and then forgot about what I asked her to help with, and then remembered about a show she wanted to watch. I know she gets engrossed in a book too. But when do I get to know that I can trust her to do something so that I can be excited about something later? I could have guilt tripped her into doing the dishes before I left, I could have demanded that she put down her book to help. I am trying to move away from those emotions so that I can learn to trust my wife again.
Did I explain that better? I love my wife, and I survived the first part of our relationship because I was happy when my wife is happy. I still feel this way, but now I just have the need to be happy the way I like to be happy. Like playing a game with my best friend on the last night of the weekend before we have to go back to the grindstone and work for 5 more days.
Just an idea. I do not want to assume here, but do you both have devices? If yes, how is she with sudden sounds? Because if you have a samsung galaxy ( I only know of this one), then you have what is referred to as an S Planner and there, you can get alerts. So, because you know your wife gets distracted, why not make it that she gets an alert and the beauty of this, is that she will read: dishes and then, think: ah, ok and get on with them.
It is fair, that if you both work, that both should take a share of household chores.
I am afraid that what you are demanding of her, is probably not going to take place.
You are similar to my husband, but less harsh, yet even he said fairly recently: I know you love me in your way. I am not a touchy person and where he complained about that a lot, he doesn't now. I do not notice when he is naked ( asexual or hypersexual). I am unable to fake feelings that I do not have.
I think if you and my husband spoke, he would ascertain that his needs are rarely met; Oh I do all the things a wife should do, but I fail on listening to his feelings, but that is because my feelings are so overpowering, it is hard enough to get past that and so, to take on my husband's feelings is like overload and we know what happens to a computer when it is overloaded? It crashes!
It seems to me that you have to reconcile that you are not going to get your needs met via your wife, in the way you want and learn to go and a slower pace and take time out for YOU, to go at a faster pace.
