An Asperger Syndrome Manual

[AndrewGuy30]

Me and my wife talked about Asperger a little bit..... and I have been working on a little handwritten manual how to deal with a kid with Asperger, based on past experience, and researched knowledge


For a treatment plan, if my Kid in the future has Asperger...
I wrote down as a treatment plan....


1. To crash through the Aspie's barrier against empathy, affection, bonding and relationships..
By imposing (as a household rule) heavy, lavish affection, For extended periods of time
Including sleeping next to the child, hugging at night.
Teaching the child affection, love, relationships, bonding etc.

Any reasonable, humane, non-Aggressive but forceful physical means necessary i.e. Holding him on your lap or underneath you in a bed, unable to get away
(if necessary)....


2. NEVER use Physical or chemical restraints on the Aggressive child with asperger syndrome...
That will never work... instead, restrain the child with a strong but affectionate hug, and get the child it onto the bed and get him held down firmly, and show the child lavish, therapeutic levels of affection, to calm him down...
and then talk about why the behavior isn't working.
And NEVER use "Corporal" Punishments.


3. NEVER raise the Aspie child in a Big American City, with America's crime, scumbag and asshole problem.


4. The kid needs an education in a private school paid for by us (not the state) since day one...
A competition (not government) based special ed program, A Special ed program that serves us the customer, not us the faceless Social Security Numbers.

5. Teach the child social skills from books and through practice.

6. ALWAYS engage in Singing, Dancing and Music, and always play music on the radio, whether the child likes it or not..
Its therapeutic, the child will learn to like it and learn to socialize far more normally.

Light Mixers are a preferable addition to the stereo and instruments.


No matter what you do...
DO NOT EVER, in ANY CASE Simply give in, and Surrender to, and Satisfy a Symptom of Asperger Syndrome.

Satisfying a Symptom of Asperger Syndrome, is not productive, will make the Asperger Syndrome worse into lower functioning levels of Autism, and will never make anything better.. and will make the symptom that you surrendered to, worse.

 

[Vinca]

1. To crash through the Aspie's barrier against empathy, affection, bonding and relationships..
By imposing (as a household rule) heavy, lavish affection, any reasonable, humane, non-Aggressive but forceful physical means necessary i.e. Holding him on your lap or underneath you in a bed, unable to get away.... For extended periods of time
Including sleeping next to the child, hugging at night.

I think that if a child learns that it is acceptable for another person to hold them down in bed, against their will, in a position they are unable to get away from, it could have potentially devastating consequences for their future life.

I don't believe in forcing physical contact on anyone, regardless of age, in any situation.

Edited to add the following

The idea of having a plan/manual seems like a very practical approach to bringing up a child on the spectrum and a positive way of being prepared.

I have to say that the content of such a plan/manual, were I designing one, would be very different from what has been mentioned above, especially in regard to physical contact and interaction.

 

[AndrewGuy30]

I think that if a child learns that it is acceptable for another person to hold them down in bed, against their will, in a position they are unable to get away from, it could have potentially devastating consequences for their future life.

I don't believe in forcing physical contact on anyone, regardless of age, in any situation.

Edited to add the following

The idea of having a plan/manual seems like a very practical approach to bringing up a child on the spectrum and a positive way of being prepared.

I have to say that the content of such a plan/manual, where I designing one, would be very different from what has been mentioned above, especially in regard to physical contact and interaction.

Any ideas based on the symptoms ?

 

[Mia]

8 Tips for Parents of Kids with Asperger's Syndrome

Steps that parents may take to help their kids with Asperger's include the following:

1. Teach the child some practical skills to integrate into social settings. It may be helpful to practice introductory conversational tactics, like asking if he or she can join in. The child may benefit from practicing appropriate "openers" such as "Can you help me with this?" or "Can I play too?"
2. Encourage the child to look at what other children are doing. Many successful adults with Asperger's syndrome report that they have learned social skills by watching and emulating what others do in certain situations. Many kids find that it is easy to copy what the other children are doing, whether it is making eye contact with their playmates, listening attentively, participating in a game, or taking turns. This can be helpful even if they do not possess the necessary social understanding to intuitively know what to do in these situations.
3. The Social Stories technique is a method of creating short stories for everyday situations that help explain the social cues and appropriate responses for given situations. A social story could be constructed, for example, for entering the classroom in the morning and saying hi to the other students and teachers, putting one's supplies away, and hanging up coats. The Social Story is a detailed description of a routine event that includes basic social information, such as "I look at my teacher's face into his/her eyes and say good morning."
4. Teach the importance of eye contact. Kids with Asperger's may resist making eye contact with others. Eye contact is a skill that can be modeled and practiced at home.
5. Identify naturally-occurring situations when the child used appropriate social skills. For example, you can comment, "That was a very considerate thing to say" or "You were being very helpful to your siblings."
6. Model discussions of personal feelings and thoughts. It can be helpful to talk about how a specific situation made you feel and what you thought or felt during your day.
7. Teach metaphors and figures of speech. Kids with Asperger's can be very literal-minded and confused by common expressions. They often find that learning the meaning of confusing (to them) phrases such as "stepping up to the plate" is interesting.
8. Teach a "safety phrase" for kids to use when they are confused or unsure. It can be a simple explanation such as "I'm not sure what to do now" or "I'm not sure what you mean." Practicing this at home can help reduce the anxiety that kids may feel when they don't know what is happening.

REFERENCES:

Attwood, Tony. Asperger's Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 1998.

Attwood, Tony. The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2007.

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=150695

 

[AndrewGuy30]

8 Tips for Parents of Kids with Asperger's Syndrome

Steps that parents may take to help their kids with Asperger's include the following:

1. Teach the child some practical skills to integrate into social settings. It may be helpful to practice introductory conversational tactics, like asking if he or she can join in. The child may benefit from practicing appropriate "openers" such as "Can you help me with this?" or "Can I play too?"
2. Encourage the child to look at what other children are doing. Many successful adults with Asperger's syndrome report that they have learned social skills by watching and emulating what others do in certain situations. Many kids find that it is easy to copy what the other children are doing, whether it is making eye contact with their playmates, listening attentively, participating in a game, or taking turns. This can be helpful even if they do not possess the necessary social understanding to intuitively know what to do in these situations.
3. The Social Stories technique is a method of creating short stories for everyday situations that help explain the social cues and appropriate responses for given situations. A social story could be constructed, for example, for entering the classroom in the morning and saying hi to the other students and teachers, putting one's supplies away, and hanging up coats. The Social Story is a detailed description of a routine event that includes basic social information, such as "I look at my teacher's face into his/her eyes and say good morning."
4. Teach the importance of eye contact. Kids with Asperger's may resist making eye contact with others. Eye contact is a skill that can be modeled and practiced at home.
5. Identify naturally-occurring situations when the child used appropriate social skills. For example, you can comment, "That was a very considerate thing to say" or "You were being very helpful to your siblings."
6. Model discussions of personal feelings and thoughts. It can be helpful to talk about how a specific situation made you feel and what you thought or felt during your day.
7. Teach metaphors and figures of speech. Kids with Asperger's can be very literal-minded and confused by common expressions. They often find that learning the meaning of confusing (to them) phrases such as "stepping up to the plate" is interesting.
8. Teach a "safety phrase" for kids to use when they are confused or unsure. It can be a simple explanation such as "I'm not sure what to do now" or "I'm not sure what you mean." Practicing this at home can help reduce the anxiety that kids may feel when they don't know what is happening.

REFERENCES:

Attwood, Tony. Asperger's Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 1998.

Attwood, Tony. The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2007.

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=150695

That would be in the works.

 

[AndrewGuy30]

Keeping the kid out of the big city though, is a preventative measure against PTSD and behavioral problems associated with bad influences.

 

[Vinca]

Any ideas based on the symptoms ?

When you say symptoms, are you referring to difficulty with empathy, affection, bonding and relationships, or something else?

 

[AndrewGuy30]

When you say symptoms, are you referring to difficulty with empathy, affection, bonding and relationships, or something else?

Those and the communication difficulties, and the outburts and the aggression and things like that.

 

[AndrewGuy30]

And the Repetitious behavior too, the doing things over and over again, looking similar to like OCD, and the narrow field of interests.

 

[Guppyfry]

Are these things that you feel would have helped you when you were growing up Andrew?

I think there is not one-size-fits-all in parenting an Aspie child. I know forcing eye contact from me, or forcing phisical contact would have been traumatizing. I taught myself to look at people when they were talking to me as an adult, and it took daily, concentrated effort for over a year to be able to do it. When I was a child, my mother would order me to look her in the eye when I gave answers to her questions so she would know that I was telling the truth.

I just could not. I hurt my whole being to do so. So my mother would 'know' that I was lying and I would get punished.

I learned to give the "right" answer in these situations to avoid punishement, instead of the truth.

Music, I love!! Classical, ethnic, jazz, ballads, etc - but only for short periods of time. After 15 minutes or so, it is just noise. Even at home, it is a rare thing for me to have the radio on, or to be listening to music, because it becomes sensory overload in a short period of time.

What do you mean, 'surrender to symptoms?"

One thing that I NEVER see on any list, is validating the Asperger's child's unique experience of the world. I was always being told that my experiences were 'wrong' - and I grew up not trusting my sense of self, and my sense of the world. I could not tell if the light was too bright, or the person talking was talking to me or someone else, if someone was being gentle or rough with me, if the music was too loud, if it was warm or cold, because I was constantly being told that what I was feeling was wrong. So I knew I could not trust my senses to give me feedback about the world, which only compounded my sense of physical and social isolation, and caused nothing but confusion about the world.

 

[Uhura]

In no place in the plan is letting the child be alone. The plan basically forces them to socialize constantly. Also keep in mind that not all families can send the child to a private school. Sometimes parents have to use public schools.

Remember lights, touch, colors, sounds, and other stimuli can be very overwhelming for someone on the spectrum.

Let the child have time alone to play as they wish instead of always being 'molded' into a way you see they should be.

 

[AndrewGuy30]

Are these things that you feel would have helped you when you were growing up Andrew?

some yes, most no... as far as what was used on me.
In my original post, I was mostly using what I originally thought in hindsight would have helped me...
And reading the symptoms.
: P

 

[ezcare]

Keeping the kid out of the big city though, is a preventative measure against PTSD and behavioral problems associated with bad influences.

These "problems" are not limited to big cities. They exist anyplace where ignorance is an acceptable excuse for not understanding the problem and seeking workable solutions.

 

[Valentine]

Sorry, but the op sounds like child abuse to me.

 

[lark265]

Me and my wife talked about Asperger a little bit..... and I have been working on a little handwritten manual how to deal with a kid with Asperger, based on past experience, and researched knowledge


For a treatment plan, if my Kid in the future has Asperger...
I wrote down as a treatment plan....


1. To crash through the Aspie's barrier against empathy, affection, bonding and relationships..
By imposing (as a household rule) heavy, lavish affection, For extended periods of time
Including sleeping next to the child, hugging at night.
Teaching the child affection, love, relationships, bonding etc.

Any reasonable, humane, non-Aggressive but forceful physical means necessary i.e. Holding him on your lap or underneath you in a bed, unable to get away
(if necessary)....


2. NEVER use Physical or chemical restraints on the Aggressive child with asperger syndrome...
That will never work... instead, restrain the child with a strong but affectionate hug, and get the child it onto the bed and get him held down firmly, and show the child lavish, therapeutic levels of affection, to calm him down...
and then talk about why the behavior isn't working.
And NEVER use "Corporal" Punishments.


3. NEVER raise the Aspie child in a Big American City, with America's crime, scumbag and asshole problem.


4. The kid needs an education in a private school paid for by us (not the state) since day one...
A competition (not government) based special ed program, A Special ed program that serves us the customer, not us the faceless Social Security Numbers.

5. Teach the child social skills from books and through practice.

6. ALWAYS engage in Singing, Dancing and Music, and always play music on the radio, whether the child likes it or not..
Its therapeutic, the child will learn to like it and learn to socialize far more normally.

Light Mixers are a preferable addition to the stereo and instruments.


No matter what you do...
DO NOT EVER, in ANY CASE Simply give in, and Surrender to, and Satisfy a Symptom of Asperger Syndrome.

Satisfying a Symptom of Asperger Syndrome, is not productive, will make the Asperger Syndrome worse into lower functioning levels of Autism, and will never make anything better.. and will make the symptom that you surrendered to, worse.

 

[lark265]

I am an adult with Aspergers and I just read your post. Apparently the country's "asshole problem" isn't restricted to the cities. Your ideas are absurd and potentially very harmful. Let's say a son of a friend of yours is blind. Would you recommend to your friend that he "never surrender to a symptom" of blindness? I'm guessing you would take him to movies, teach him how to play catch and when he's old enough, maybe enroll him in driving school. Best of luck on your manual.

 

[cory]

And the Repetitious behavior too, the doing things over and over again, looking similar to like OCD, and the narrow field of interests.

Why on earth would you want to deprive an aspie of his/her "narrow field of interest"? This in itself can be a coping mechanism.

 

[NateSean]

I hope the OP is listening to the responses and not just dismissing them because they aren't what he wants to hear.

 

[Mia]

He was last on the site Sept 13/16. Hope for his child's sake, that he takes some of the advice.

 

[Rich Gray]

Playing Dungeons and Dragons as a kid really helped me (I have Asperger’s Syndrome). It has social interaction in a scheduled and structured setting that includes creative thinking, teamwork, math, reading, and such.

I went from reading at the 3rd grade level in 5th grade to reading at the college level by 8th grade.

Running a D&D game can be very much like being a project manager, and I know at least one project manager who runs these sorts of games.

So, yeah, I recommend role-playing games.