Me and my wife talked about Asperger a little bit..... and I have been working on a little handwritten manual how to deal with a kid with Asperger, based on past experience, and researched knowledge
For a treatment plan, if my Kid in the future has Asperger...
I wrote down as a treatment plan....
1. To crash through the Aspie's barrier against empathy, affection, bonding and relationships..
By imposing (as a household rule) heavy, lavish affection, For extended periods of time
Including sleeping next to the child, hugging at night.
Teaching the child affection, love, relationships, bonding etc.
Hugging, when the person is receptive to it, is a great idea, as is teaching about relationships in general, in a manner that the person understands. "Crashing through the Aspie's barrier" is not only flat-out wrong, but unempathetic in and of itself. It also shows lack of understanding of the root reasons for what appears to be such behavior.
Any reasonable, humane, non-Aggressive but forceful physical means necessary i.e. Holding him on your lap or underneath you in a bed, unable to get away
(if necessary)....
2. NEVER use Physical or chemical restraints on the Aggressive child with asperger syndrome...
That will never work... instead, restrain the child with a strong but affectionate hug, and get the child it onto the bed and get him held down firmly, and show the child lavish, therapeutic levels of affection, to calm him down...
and then talk about why the behavior isn't working.
And NEVER use "Corporal" Punishments.
Only if they present a physical threat to themselves or others, and only to prevent such harm. And no, "an affectionate hug" and "shows of affection" are not the way to calm an Aspie down. Oftentimes, that will just escalate the issue, because in situations like that, they are overwhelmed and overstimulated, and such behavior on your part will just make things worse.
Read the situation and respond accordingly. Often, it's just a matter of preempting the meltdown to begin with, by learning the cues that come before it, and giving the person some space.
3. NEVER raise the Aspie child in a Big American City, with America's crime, scumbag and asshole problem.
In my experience, the "scumbag and asshole problem" is worse in American rural environments. Cities, particularly their suburbs, have more resources to be able to work with various types of disabilities.
4. The kid needs an education in a private school paid for by us (not the state) since day one...
A competition (not government) based special ed program, A Special ed program that serves us the customer, not us the faceless Social Security Numbers.
Private school isn't the one and only answer. My son does quite well in public school, in fact. We work closely with the teachers, principal, and intervention specialists. You get out of a system what you put into it.
5. Teach the child social skills from books and through practice.
No real arguments, here. As someone else mentioned, role playing games like D&D are a good avenue by which to do it. Controlled environment, but not so scripted that things become non-transferable. In fact, I'm pretty sure this is the only "rule" that I actually agree with.
6. ALWAYS engage in Singing, Dancing and Music, and always play music on the radio, whether the child likes it or not..
Its therapeutic, the child will learn to like it and learn to socialize far more normally.
Light Mixers are a preferable addition to the stereo and instruments.
"Whether the child likes it or not..."? And people say
we lack empathy? That's a good way to get them to shut down and cause the behavioral problems mentioned in previous quotes.
Respect their request to turn music down or off and you prevent the need to restrain them to begin with.
No matter what you do...
DO NOT EVER, in ANY CASE Simply give in, and Surrender to, and Satisfy a Symptom of Asperger Syndrome.
Satisfying a Symptom of Asperger Syndrome, is not productive, will make the Asperger Syndrome worse into lower functioning levels of Autism, and will never make anything better.. and will make the symptom that you surrendered to, worse.
OMG....where do I even start?
No, "satisfying a symptom" does not make it worse. It doesn't work that way. It doesn't make the person "lower functioning." That's not how any of that works.
Do you tell a Deaf person to not "give in" to their deafness? That if they just tried hard enough, they'd be able to hear again?
I...I can't even address these directly without going into a whole diatribe. The only thing I can say is -- put down the books from the 50s and close the Autism Speaks tabs, and instead pick up one of Temple Grandin's books. Autism is not caused by refrigerator moms or lack of affection growing up. It's not some boogey man or demon that needs exorcised and vanquished.
It's a difference in the inherent ability to process and filter inputs and translate them to outputs.
Those and the communication difficulties, and the outburts and the aggression and things like that.
The outbursts of aggression are (in my experience) almost always a result of breakdowns in communication and/or overstimulation (and very often being ignored when signalling "I'm overstimulated, get me out of here!").
Find the root causes and life gets infinitely easier.
A child acts out at the grocery store, because all of the colors, smells, and lights overwhelm them. Find a grocery store that isn't so busy with stuff, consider grocery delivery, go without the child, or go at a time when the environment is more subdued.
They act out when they get home from school, because they just spent the day being forced to socialize and constantly be around people. Teach them that their bedroom (or other "cool down" room) is their sanctuary and that they can go in there to chill for a while. Teach them to tell you, "hey, I'm peopled out right now, give me a bit." Leave them be for a little while after getting home.
Provide alternative methods of communication. Sign language is a good one, as is a tablet or other means for using text to communicate (because non-verbal does not mean non-lingual). A sketch book for drawing for visual communicators can be useful, too. To force an Autistic person to try to communicate verbally and getting upset if they can't is like trying to force a Chinese person to speak English (when they've had little to no training in it) and getting made when they can't.
