An idea

[mw2530]

Do you think a way to inform the general public about ASD and how adults struggle with the disorder could improve our lives and how people treat us? I know some people will never change their opinions b/c they know everything already and couldn't possibly accept their thinking wasn't always accurate. Anyway, do think a large newspaper or media outlet would open up a column for adults with aspergers to tell their stories to the world? A new person with ASD could write for each day. Then maybe a more accurate portrayal of autism would get out to the world. No one believes much of what we say as lone individuals, but if done in mass numbers, then maybe it could make a difference.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

It would absolutely improve our lives by letting people know about the struggles we face. However! It would also benefit us by letting others know there's advantages to being autistic all the time having people know it doesn't make as superheroes or savants and that for the most part we are just like other people just with a few caveats.

I see it a lot on sites like Quora, people want to know more but don't really understand it. A lot of them think we are all alike each other almost as if we are just clones of each other in some senses.

It would be a pretty cool idea to talk to a newspaper or media outlet as you say about a column, that would be pretty neat. Not sure how realistic to would be to get a daily column but certainly you could approach them to write an article. I know the newspaper I read often, The Guardian here in the UK often feature part from people who have disabilities. It would be more effective if it was a right-leaning news outlet but it would be harder to fight for.

Other effective from of getting information out there would be blogs, personal websites and podcasts. However they can end up being a bit of an echo chamber in terms of people who digest the information. But certainly worth a go too.

 

[Starfire]

I don’t think that the general public is particularly interested in ASD. I could see most people skipping over such a column in a newspaper in the way I skip over the sports section for example, because I’m just not interested in sports.

I think such a campaign would be better aimed at CEO’s of large companies and trade publications to highlight how much we have to offer to potential employers despite our difficulties.

There is also the chance of of people with schizophrenia, or bipolar disorder etc etc also demanding a column to highlight their difficulties, and given that column space is valuable who is to decide which cause is the most worthwhile?

 

[Progster]

I think it would help if more people with ASD like myself would talk about it openly, to family, friends, employers. Then more people would have more personal. first-hand exposure to it on a daily basis, pubic perception might begin to change and attitudes might change. But it's not going to happen - or it will happen, but very slowly - people don't want to open up about it and usually they have good reasons not to. But then it becomes a vicious circle.

 

[Starfire]

I think it would help if more people with ASD like myself would talk about it openly, to family, friends, employers. Then more people would have more personal. first-hand exposure to it on a daily basis, pubic perception might begin to change and attitudes might change. But it's not going to happen - or it will happen, but very slowly - people don't want to open up about it and usually they have good reasons not to. But then it becomes a vicious circle.

You could be right, but on the occasions when I’ve opened up I’ve found the majority of people to be dismissive or incredulous or just don’t believe it’s a real thing. Most of us will have heard the “oh really, you seem normal/ok/like everyone else to me.”

It becomes tedious to have to explain why one is not like Forest Gump/Rainman etc. I now prefer to go through life like an actor, or with a mask and keep myself to myself rather than disclose or talk about it tiring though that maybe. I can be myself at home or on here, but other than that I tend to be guarded.

It does become a vicious circle as you said, but trying to explain things succinctly to people who have an every shrinking attention span, and don’t really care as they have their own problems, is now for me simply not worth the trouble to do.

 

[Progster]

It does become a vicious circle as you said, but trying to explain things succinctly to people who have an every shrinking attention span, and don’t really care as they have their own problems, is now for me simply not worth the trouble to do.

I agree with what you are saying and I don't tell people either, for the same reasons, and because I don't like to be prejudged. I really do wish though, that we could break out of the cycle, and be able to talk freely to people about it, without judgement and prejudice.

 

[AO1501]

We only have ourselves to blame if we ignore opportunities to talk opening about ASDs and to discuss what impact it has. It is hardly fair to criticise others for their ignorance, when our own silence contributes significantly to that ignorance.

It isn't that I fail to understand the reticence to open up, because the way many of us have been treated by wider society hardly inspires confidence, but realistically, we can't move society's understanding of us much further than it is without being prepared to advocate for ourselves.

 

[Starfire]

We only have ourselves to blame if we ignore opportunities to talk opening about ASDs and to discuss what impact it has. It is hardly fair to criticise others for their ignorance, when our own silence contributes significantly to that ignorance.

It isn't that I fail to understand the reticence to open up, because the way many of us have been treated by wider society hardly inspires confidence, but realistically, we can't move society's understanding of us much further than it is without being prepared to advocate for ourselves.

No, we don’t only have ourselves to blame!
How are we to know when an appropriate time is, or who the right person is that we should ‘educate’, or when an “opportunity” is, or indeed if we are simply making a pain in the butt of ourselves? As for discussing the impact it has on us, the sort of response I would get from many people would be along the lines of ‘look mate you need to get over yourself, you’re not the only one with problems!’ That would indeed be the case too.

Have you not seen how many people here for example discuss having Aspergers at job interviews, then report back here that they didn’t get the job. I read a question somewhere, it may have been after a YouTube video which asked (approximately) “what does it mean to a prospective partner if we tell them we are on the spectrum?” The very first reply was from someone admitting they weren’t on the spectrum and they said “it means it’s over!”

The fact is you can lead a horse to water, but you can not make it drink! We are not responsible for others ignorance. The people who are open minded enough to care, want to be informed or seek information have every opportunity to do so for themselves, as many people who self diagnosed at first did for example. The information is out there, seek and ye shall find!

Personally, if I was approached respectfully and genuinely by someone who wanted to discuss my diagnosis, or my daughters diagnoses, or what it means to have ASD, I would be very happy to talk with them. I won’t however go around forcing it down everyone neck at every opportunity, I know how that works out. As for moving society’s understanding forward, there are professional organisations, publications, charities etc who exist to take on that task. To be blunt if I may, I’ve done my bit, I’ve been screwed over for a lot of years, I’m tired and I want to enjoy the peace, internal and external that I have recently found. It took me 50 years to reach this point.

 

[Starfire]

P.S
I’ve just re-read what I wrote and I’m honestly not sure if I came across as passionate, or angry and aggressive! I’m so poor at being able to guess how others perceive what I say or write, and it inadvertently gets me in trouble all the time.

So, if I was over the top then I apologise. I wrote unedited and from the heart and tried to be polite and respectful yet clear. I didn’t mean to cause offence, if I did that was not in anyway my intention.

Wow, why does everything have to be so complicated and confusing, even a quick post!

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

So, if I was over the top then I apologise. I wrote unedited and from the heart

Best way. More please.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Do you think a way to inform the general public about ASD and how adults struggle with the disorder could improve our lives and how people treat us?

The difficulty would be finding clear examples so that people do understand.

You know when you get
"Everyone feels like that sometimes"
When you try to explain.

We know it isn't the same but how to convey that difference consistently in many different ways?

Another big difference is our lack of understanding in those that construct their ideas of the world socially versus our - often very individual ways.
This gives way to the misunderstandings I feel sometimes.

Also the literal interpretations, which can also be manifold.

 

[AO1501]

P.S
I’ve just re-read what I wrote and I’m honestly not sure if I came across as passionate, or angry and aggressive! I’m so poor at being able to guess how others perceive what I say or write, and it inadvertently gets me in trouble all the time.

So, if I was over the top then I apologise. I wrote unedited and from the heart and tried to be polite and respectful yet clear. I didn’t mean to cause offence, if I did that was not in anyway my intention.

Wow, why does everything have to be so complicated and confusing, even a quick post!

No need to apologise at all! You have a point of view, and you decided to share it. Whether I agree or not, I respect your opinion, and your right to express it in any way you feel appropriate.

And thank you for doing so!

 

[AO1501]

No, we don’t only have ourselves to blame!
How are we to know when an appropriate time is, or who the right person is that we should ‘educate’, or when an “opportunity” is, or indeed if we are simply making a pain in the butt of ourselves? As for discussing the impact it has on us, the sort of response I would get from many people would be along the lines of ‘look mate you need to get over yourself, you’re not the only one with problems!’ That would indeed be the case too.

Have you not seen how many people here for example discuss having Aspergers at job interviews, then report back here that they didn’t get the job. I read a question somewhere, it may have been after a YouTube video which asked (approximately) “what does it mean to a prospective partner if we tell them we are on the spectrum?” The very first reply was from someone admitting they weren’t on the spectrum and they said “it means it’s over!”

The fact is you can lead a horse to water, but you can not make it drink! We are not responsible for others ignorance. The people who are open minded enough to care, want to be informed or seek information have every opportunity to do so for themselves, as many people who self diagnosed at first did for example. The information is out there, seek and ye shall find!

Personally, if I was approached respectfully and genuinely by someone who wanted to discuss my diagnosis, or my daughters diagnoses, or what it means to have ASD, I would be very happy to talk with them. I won’t however go around forcing it down everyone neck at every opportunity, I know how that works out. As for moving society’s understanding forward, there are professional organisations, publications, charities etc who exist to take on that task. To be blunt if I may, I’ve done my bit, I’ve been screwed over for a lot of years, I’m tired and I want to enjoy the peace, internal and external that I have recently found. It took me 50 years to reach this point.

It isn't that I disagree with you in any substantive way, other than that perhaps my experience on the spectrum may not be the same as yours, and thus our perspectives may differ.

However, to explain perhaps: No, I am not suggesting that we all rise up and shove our experiences down the throats of those who aren't like us. As you rightly say, they'd largely not be interested, and would hardly be likely to listen.

And you are also right that there are professional organisations, charities etc to help get our message over, but I think my point would be, that where, but us, do they get their understanding from? They have managed, largely, by studying us and drawing conclusions, in pretty much the same way that Asperger himself did, but we can add our voices to their observations, and give them a far better idea of who we are in the process.

My point, largely, was that there are ears out there that are receptive to us in ways that perhaps was not the case even a few years ago, and those are the ones we can (and in my view, should) be reaching.

But I also respect the fact that some among us have struggled with a life on the spectrum, and that finding peace and perhaps settling into a form of acceptance of it are better objectives than wider education. I certainly don't mean any form of criticism if you feel that way!

 

[the_tortoise]

Most of us will have heard the “oh really, you seem normal/ok/like everyone else to me.”

It occurs to me that occasionally (depends on context and person) stuff like this could actually be a well-intentioned lie meant to make you feel good about yourself....

People may say things like that thinking it's a nice thing to say, that it will make you feel good about yourself....because many people assume that being autistic is something you must be ashamed of, or feel bad about.

Still ends up being dismissive, though. (Also hurtful in the extreme, if it comes from a place of assuming that being autistic is something terrible and shameful.) Whether it means "I don't believe you" or is just a statement of confusion/surprise, or is supposed to be some kind of twisted positive reassurance, when it's the last thing ever said about you being autistic......

 

[Cactus]

P.S
I’ve just re-read what I wrote and I’m honestly not sure if I came across as passionate, or angry and aggressive! I’m so poor at being able to guess how others perceive what I say or write, and it inadvertently gets me in trouble all the time.

So, if I was over the top then I apologise. I wrote unedited and from the heart and tried to be polite and respectful yet clear. I didn’t mean to cause offence, if I did that was not in anyway my intention.

Wow, why does everything have to be so complicated and confusing, even a quick post!

I thought you were clear, concise, and respectful.

 

[Gracey]

Those that want to find out more and understand ASD will do so.

Those that would like to skip over any publications and information available will do so.

Can lead a horse to water but can’t make it drink.

 

[LucyPurrs]

Those that want to find out more and understand ASD will do so.

Agree Gracey. I did and I hope I do understand more. But I have to confess that if I ever knew anyone on the spectrum before 2 years ago, I was not aware of it and didn't notice any "differences." But I'm not a very social animal to begin with.

 

[Jersey]

I think just knowing more about autism besides Rainman, would be helpful. If nothing else it might help people who don't know they're autistic, that they are. Or for family/friends/coworkers, you'd think it would help in the approach. You know instead of _____ is being horrible again. It might even ease the stress in the moment because you know already.

 

[Gracey]

Agree Gracey. I did and I hope I do understand more. But I have to confess that if I ever knew anyone on the spectrum before 2 years ago, I was not aware of it and didn't notice any "differences." But I'm not a very social animal to begin with.

I think about it in terms of curiosity and motivation.

A few years ago -
My cousin is autistic,
Oh right, okay.
No desire to pursue any understanding or further knowledge.
He is what he is, he does what he does. Simple.

That was until I started to consider the possibility of how ASD may be affecting me, my siblings, all of our children.

Motivated to know more. Actively chasing down information.

I would have skipped over, even ignored any available information until then.

Edited to add,
I’m thankful there’s information freely available, when I thought I needed it.

 

[tducey]

I think it would. I know, in my own experience, that my dealings with people have hopefully shown them people with Autism can do so much when given the chance.