Anniversaries are dumb

[Crystal Santiago]

No. Anniversaries are not dumb because it is the celebration of an important event that happened, especially in terms of being married or in a relationship, and they can be celebrated in many different ways.

 

[Brizo]

I've been with my wife for 31 years and recently had our 25th wedding anniversary. I did nothing special for my wife but wrote a card telling her I hoped we would still be together for another 25 years, I cannot do the emotional stuff that goes on with "big" anniversaries and was happy when the day was over.

 

[fairy_girl]

I never understood the point of anniversaries when I was dating. Shouldn't you be happy that we are together or is just an excuse for us to exchange gifts and receive them? If it's the latter then I'd rather buy myself something that I want then a pair of earrings that I don't like or would wear.

 

[Section_Eight]

I always thought that anniversaries, birthdays and other mainstream celebrations are kind of pointless. I believe the only reason that most people do these celebrations is because they were raised in a society where they’re done. .e. brainwashed.

It appears to be a weird ritual/obligation from my point of view. I’ve been married for 18 years and we do celebrate our wedding anniversary, but no other days. In the beginning we used to buy each other gifts and write cards. I was once told “It would be nice if you wrote me a poem”, so I did. But now we just allocate each other a set amount of money to spend on ourselves and have a dinner with the extended family (my wife’s parents, brothers and their wives).

 

[Aesclipia]

I'm kind of puzzled by anniversaries myself. I understand that some anniversaries represent important milestones and markers that represent progress, but the ones for romantic relationships seem weird. The people who seem to care about them the most only seem to do so for unimportant and trivial reasons or place a high amount of value on them because it's the one time of year where their S.O. feels obligated to actually put a significant amount of effort into displaying their affection, which is why I also hate Valentine's Day... mostly. The candy is nice, though.

 

[pjcnet]

Most people celebrate anniversaries because they're taught to by the media and by others, they're also taught that it's insulting / upsetting to their partner to forget and to also be upset yourself if your partner forgets.

Why was this originally taught? Well like many special days they've either been invented or made into a much bigger thing by marketing and commercialism. In this case anniversaries have been made into a much bigger thing, for instance wedding anniversaries date back to the Holy Roman Empire when husbands crowned their wives with a silver wreath on their twenty-fifth anniversary, and a gold wreath on the fiftieth, but twentieth century commercialism led to the addition of many more anniversaries being represented by a named gift. Further commercialism led to people celebrating anniversaries every year and even many couples who are together outside marriage now believe that it is an important requirement to celebrate the anniversary of when they first met. Similar is true with Valentines Day which has also become much more important because of commercialism. People obviously feel they need to buy gifts, often spend money out and buy cards on anniversaries and Valentines Day which obviously makes businesses money.

Personally I don't think anniversaries are necessary either, but unfortunately we're in the minority and if your partner thinks they're important you would upset them by ignoring either anniversaries or Valentines Day.


PS: Companies make enormous profits out of greetings cards since they hardly cost anything to make. Usually they're just printed cardboard that costs no more to make than most outer packaging on a product that is normally thrown away, yet people are willing to pay a considerable amount for them because they apparently have value in their symbolic meaning. I hate buying greetings cards because they are effectively useless to anyone, they're a product made purely out of commercialism that indoctrinates us into believing that we must send them on special days and to also be upset if we don't receive them.

 

[pjcnet]

Celebrated my thirty-third anniversary a few days ago. I celebrate it in some way; going on a picnic, making a cake, a restaurant meal, something to mark that day a long time ago where I wore a wedding dress and carried flowers and my husband wore his then one wool suit in summer and was so distracted he forgot to pack any underwear. (He likely remembers the rash the most.) Where we promised to care for and love one another in front of several hundred people.

It's the promise that I celebrate, the oath that I took. As an Aspie I keep my word, which is important to me. Promises are not something people consider important, but I do. Marriages are and can be complex things, they require a lifetime of working at a relationship, to understand one another, to get along, to continue to care for one another during fights, misunderstandings, sickness, anger, loss. Many people give up, divorce or separate, for their own complex or simple reasons.

I've worked so hard to understand another person for such a long time, that even when I'm angry at him, I still care for him. I celebrate not giving up and I celebrate being with a person I couldn't possibly live without. Someone who cares for and sees me for exactly who I am, and who I see and care for as exactly who he is. That is something to commemorate.

Sounds very good and congratulations, but why can't you celebrate that any time of the year, why does there have to be a special day?

 

[Progster]

Companies make enormous profits out of greetings cards since they hardly cost anything to make. Usually they're just printed cardboard that costs no more to make than most outer packaging on a product that is normally thrown away, yet people are willing to pay a considerable amount for them because they apparently have value in their symbolic meaning. I hate buying greetings cards because they are effectively useless to anyone, they're a product made purely out of commercialism that indoctrinates us into believing that we must send them on special days and to also be upset if we don't receive them.

I agree. I don't do cards. I never could understand why people send or give cards when they can phone, text or say it to them in person. My mum sends me a card at Christmas even though she knows that she is going to talk to me on the phone and say merry Christmas to me then. I've told her not to bother sending a card, but she still sends one. It's commercial brainwashing.

 

[Crossbreed]

I think of them like birthdays. Lately, they are more like waiting for the other boot to drop.

 

[Mia]

Sounds very good and congratulations, but why can't you celebrate that any time of the year, why does there have to be a special day?

My spouse is a numbers person. They hold a great deal of significance to him, he recalls them all, the date we met, even the hour. He remembers the day, month and year of all anniversaries, birthdays and deaths, of anyone he knows or knew. Not so much to celebrate them, much of the time, but to remember the people he associates with those dates. And to somehow mark those occasions, in whatever way is important to him and to us.

We celebrate our anniversary on that particular day and date, to remember that first meeting and to mark it as fortunate, random or predestined. That led to our life together.