Anxiety at the start of annual leave

[Mr Alligator]

I’m starting to feel a bit better now I’m further into my time off. Although I know the feelings will come back the Sunday before I go back. I’ll just have to try to have a “sod it” attitude and/or remind myself I’ll probably catch up eventually.

I’ve had counselling before and have also been placed on reduced hours at work previously - a mixture of stress, anxiety and ptsd (caused by some types of work we get involved in).

Ultimately whilst the reduced hours worked for a while, I slipped back into old habits of not taking care of myself before I take care of work.

The counselling, and occupational therapy too, said some of the problems need sorting by work, things need to change in the organisation, but that’s easier said than done when everyone is overworked and underpaid.

Some people check their emails on their holidays to try to avoid a massive catchup on their first day back. Some even log in and do work on their holidays. I try to avoid both. It’s not healthy.

 

[AspieChris]

everyone is overworked and underpaid.

There’s too much of that going around in the last few years.

My boss says, “Well… we’re going to have to do more with less.” It’s complete crap when I work for a billion-dollar worldwide corporation, and the people at the top make millions.

Part of the reason I think about work when I’m at home is this: My brain says “Do your job, and do it completely.” It doesn’t matter how much work is put in front of me, I can’t stop myself from doing all of it. I would rather skip my lunch break and work late for free than leave anything unfinished. So I’m constantly, subconsciously, trying to make that happen. It’s not a sense of duty or responsibility. It’s more like an OCD or phobia.

It’s really difficult. But the first word I have had to learn since I was a child is “No”. I don’t say it out loud and I try to not let it turn me angry. I say it quietly inside of my own head. When I can see that I’m being asked to do too much, I say “No”. After that I look for legitimate reasons why it won’t get done. Then I start with an attitude of “It’s too heavy for me to lift”, or “I haven’t been trained”. I do it politely, but I can stand firm on my “No” when I first decide the truest reason why I shouldn’t even try.

 

[Mr Alligator]

Yeah I think a phobia - worried I’ll never catch up and lots of people will chase me for different things at the same time.

I don’t think it helps that a lot of people chase their helpdesk tickets via the ticket. That just goes to the busy person that hasn’t had time to deal with it yet. They should escalate to managers. Some people are quite nasty when they write their helpdesk updates. They think it’s a computer they’re responding to, but it’s a human that reads it (obviously) - either that or they just don’t care about us, or they themselves are stressed and taking our their stress in us.

 

[AspieChris]

hey themselves are stressed and taking our their stress in us.

I see that one every day. My problem there is that they complain or are just angry and I absorb their stress. If they have a problem, I’ll do double duty and try to solve it while still getting my work done.

Sometimes they just want to vent. Sometimes they’re trying to get out of their responsibilities by complaining. Either way it leaves my stressed and I don’t figure any of it out until hours or days later. I’m trying to remember to tell myself that it’s not my problem to fix, but it’s a lot harder than it sounds.

 

[Mr Alligator]

Well, 470 emails, plus 175 emails in a shared mailbox (that didn’t seem to get checked in my absence), four helpdesk jobs opened or chased, 3 teams messages and 2 text messages.

Managed to catch up quite quickly, still got some project work to do, but wasn’t as bad as I’d assumed (as always!).

Still, as expected, some people chasing work from me even though I’m on leave.

Some is their fault (they can’t read out of office messages!!!) and some is process failures (helpdesk assigning jobs to me on my first day of annual leave and users chasing the job via the job which causes an email to be sent to me!).

 

[AspieChris]

Well, 470 emails, plus 175 emails in a shared mailbox (that didn’t seem to get checked in my absence), four helpdesk jobs opened or chased, 3 teams messages and 2 text messages.

Managed to catch up quite quickly, still got some project work to do, but wasn’t as bad as I’d assumed (as always!).

Still, as expected, some people chasing work from me even though I’m on leave.

Some is their fault (they can’t read out of office messages!!!) and some is process failures (helpdesk assigning jobs to me on my first day of annual leave and users chasing the job via the job which causes an email to be sent to me!).

Time to start setting some boundaries (I know… I’m no good at that either). Maybe start small, like not eating lunch at your desk. You have unwittingly trained everyone that you are their personal trash can.

The only way I got out of the same situation you’re in was a serious back injury. After my surgeries, I actually couldn’t do most of the extra stuff that was being asked of me at work. This was more than 5 years ago and there’s still a few people who try to “ask” me to do things that they should be doing themselves.

It’s a daily struggle. I have had to learn to lie and use the many facets of my injury to get them to accept my “no”. But what I can tell you for certain is that what you’re experiencing is taking a serious toll on your physical health. Everyone else is getting down-time. You’re not. Bad sleep. Bad food choices. Exercise. You know what I mean.

I’ve learned to plan my excuses (lies) in advance, so that they make sense. My back hurts. My Dr changed my prescription and it’s making me forgetful. My phone died. My e-mail isn’t working….again. It’s usually all b.s. but it works.