Any NeuroTypicals active on AspiesCentral???

[Melissa]

Hi,
I'm NT, also a Mental Health Therapist. I mainly joined to understand Aspie perspectives. But if I can help, I'd be happy to.

 

[Allicat]

I think it's great that people can do exactly this, but my point was more that I disagree with the OP saying that we need more completely NT people here to nudge us or anything else.

Oh gosh xudo - I am so sorry if it appeared I was directing that at you - totally NOT my intention. And yeah, I get what you are saying; the thing that appeals to me most about this site is it's for and BY folks on the spectrum.

allicat,i hope what i said didnt offend you,i think you are awesome and are a great contributor to the site,i dont even think of you being NT when i see you post,its like your part of the e-wood work.

Not offended at all toothless I got what you were saying and agree; we ALL need a safe space to be who we are.

 

[xudo]

Oh gosh xudo - I am so sorry if it appeared I was directing that at you - totally NOT my intention. And yeah, I get what you are saying; the thing that appeals to me most about this site is it's for and BY folks on the spectrum.

Oh no I wasn't offended or anything, I just wanted to say that I agreed with you but also clarify what I was trying to get across for anyone who may have misunderstood me. I didn't think your comment was aimed at me!

 

[MROSS]

A related thread, 'Any Asperger Advocates (activists) Here on AspiesCentral??' invites that mix of both NTs, and people with Aspergers; that dynamic that best "established that balance" -- a much needed dynamic!

LINK: Any Asperger advocates (activists) here on AspiesCentral??

 

[Bellatrix]

hi MROSS, are you saying we need more NT members? i dont agree we need a lot more NTs in one way because its an ASD forum and we need a safe space.

I don't like the expression "safe space", due to its association with far-left identity politics and all of that, but yes, you are right, this is OUR space. Look at what happened to "Wrong Planet" when they allowed anyone to join. Do we want that here?

If a person has neither autism nor A.S. nor anything similar (i.e. is "neurotypical"), they simply have no reason to be here. Besides, there are so many other places they can go, and things they can do, that we - due to who we are - can't (ex. nightclubs, pubs). Places like AspiesCentral are rare.

 

[Myrtonos]

Maybe those without autism do have a reason to be here, for example assisting those on the spectrum in communicating better. I would really like a staff member who gives the detailed responses that we need and maybe even knows how to teach social skills.

By the way, one of the diagnosis status options is Asperger's syndrome - Self-Diagnosed. But since it's not official and Self-Diagnosis isn't recommended, it's not a valid option.

 

[Grandmother B]

I'm an NT. I'm not lovelorn. Instead, I'm in an almost 21 year relationship with an Aspie. So I follow this forum just to get some perspective, to see it from the viewpoint of the Aspie.

After all these years, my partner and I have learned how to handle each other. I know that he needs a lot of time alone, a lot of quiet time. He's learned that I need to talk about my day a little when I come home and that I like to engage with others in discussions about social and political issues. So we've manged to make it work.

I'd be lying if I said it wasn't frustrating at times. He doesn't get the point of most social interactions. So we rarely go out with other couples. I go out with my friends and he stays home and happily does stuff on his computer. But we do have gatherings in our home. We just had a dinner party with 4 other neighbors. He did OK, although he spoke very little throughout the evening.

The one thing I've occasionally been surprised to find in these forums is the animosity that some Aspies have toward NT's. I can understand some of it, after being treated like something is wrong with you. But some of it really shocks me. So I stay in here to get some understanding.

Sounds like you two have things worked out beautifully. I have learned that anyone (Aspie or NT) just needs their partner to "let them be" and not try to force things on them. You can both happily do the things you love and still be happy together.

 

[Grandmother B]

I don't like the expression "safe space", due to its association with far-left identity politics and all of that, but yes, you are right, this is OUR space. Look at what happened to "Wrong Planet" when they allowed anyone to join. Do we want that here?

If a person has neither autism nor A.S. nor anything similar (i.e. is "neurotypical"), they simply have no reason to be here. Besides, there are so many other places they can go, and things they can do, that we - due to who we are - can't (ex. nightclubs, pubs). Places like AspiesCentral are rare.

Those of us who have Asperger's in our families learn a lot here. I am grateful to have found this site.

 

[Mary Terry]

I'm NT. I have autistic relatives who need advocates to help them in virtually every aspect of life, including interfacing with governmental resources. I voluntarily tutor young adults who are on the autism spectrum in an effort to obtain GEDs (high school diploma equivalency) because they could not or did not earn a diploma in main stream high schools. I have been happily married to the same man (NT also) for 30 years. I participate in this website because I occasionally learn something from autistic posters. I also think I occasionally contribute something useful - and truthful - to the never-ending conflict between the NT and ASD worlds. Anyone who thinks this is a "safe place" for autists is essentially delusional because anyone can visit this website and its participants are not policed. Does "safe place" mean a secret website to rightfully or wrongfully rant about NTs and/or to express perceptions, behaviors, and attitudes that autistics know are unacceptable in the NT world or by which they are embarrassed? The anti-NT garbage expressed here is as vile and offensive as racism, regionalism, sexism, homophobia, etc. In fact, it's as offensive to NTs as NTs' anti-ASD perceptions are offensive to autistics. Lighten up, folks, because it's just one big world, we are all part of it, and we can and should learn from one another.

PS - I grow weary of the "lovelorn", too. What the heck is that about? Do they think there is some secret code or activity that only autistics know about that can be used to force an autistic to love them?

 

[xudo]

The anti-NT garbage expressed here is as vile and offensive as racism, regionalism, sexism, homophobia, etc. In fact, it's as offensive to NTs as NTs' anti-ASD perceptions are offensive to autistics. Lighten up, folks, because it's just one big world, we are all part of it, and we can and should learn from one another.

A lot of the 'anti-NT garbage' is probably due to how we have all been treated over the course of our lives.

Telling us to lighten up because we're all part of the same world is like me as a white female telling a black man to lighten up over racism. With my white privilege it seems to me like he just needs to lighten up because we're all part of the one big world and we should learn from one another. However, due to that privilege, I have never suffered in the way that he has and I never will, because I'm white and female.

I can understand that we all live in the same world, but NT's have never had to experience life in this world as someone who sees/experiences/understands it in a way that is not 'the norm'.

PS - I grow weary of the "lovelorn", too. What the heck is that about? Do they think there is some secret code or activity that only autistics know about that can be used to force an autistic to love them?

I agree wholeheartedly. This comment actually made me chuckle.

 

[Ylva]

 

[Elizabeth]

Nice sentiments. I suspect my mother would have said the same had she known I was on the spectrum as well. The only unconditional love I ever felt.

However if your family is still attempting to "normalize" your uncle in the present, it reflects that that your son is likely to be exposed to the same hostile environment in the future when he's old enough to be outside your care, custody and control.

I had a relatively loving and stable home environment. However it could not protect me once I walked out the front door. At around nine years of age my grade school peers became unrelentingly hostile towards me all the way to the end of high school. While my parents grieved with me, there was really nothing they could do. (They had previously sought medical advice at a time when autism wouldn't have occurred to them in the early 60s.)

I suppose what I'm saying is that you need to be his "preparer" more than his "protector". Though at two years of age this may seem like a distant concern for both you and him. It isn't, considering if and when his peers begin to turn on him.

I agree with you wholeheartedly that I need to prepare him for what he will be facing, sooner than later. There are already same-age children in his group therapy asking "what is wrong" with him. Completely breaks my heart as well as steels my resolve to be a safe-haven for him as well as helping him to love himself and understand and (hopefully) appreciate his individuality. If anyone has any advice, I am all ears!

I'm sorry you had such mistreatment from your peers. I can't begin to imagine what you had to endure. You are obviously strong and resilient.

I am thankful to hear that your home environment was loving. I hope that provided even bits of relief from the years of mistreatment.

 

[Delbert]

I am an Autie, learned to bridge the divide between the ASD spectrum and the NT world while being an Autie.

although I appear as an Aspie to those aware of the ASD and as an eccentric NT to those who do not know about the ASD.

Maybe, can help some out with what I have lived through and learned.