Anyone Else Feel Like They Don't Belong?

[thejuice]

Yes, for sure. Whenever anything with another person proceeds beyond a certain level of familiarity, I say or do something that doesn't work and it all fails. This is especially true with "social media." I'll have nothing to do with Facebook etc., but places like Reddit don't work for me.

I'm pretty good at casual conversation and can get started talking with people easily enough. It's just that it doesn't last. I'm really glad this forum exists, because it has a positive design and it's not rigged with algorithms to promote maximum "engagement." Forum type venues on the Internet always have been good for me, especially if they involve a special interest. Alas those kinds of sites are decreasing in number and have almost totally disappeared.

In real life, it's the same. I'm disappointed that 98% of people I used to have a professional association with have not engaged after I left actively working. I am lucky that I have two people that I have retained as friends, but it always amazes me when I meet someone who has connections that go back decades.

I guess "I don't belong" is as good a description for this kind of thing as anything else would be.

Reddit. I cant use it. Sensational topics and every user is trying to be funny for upvotes, so any helpful informative posts are buried. Oh the humanity!

 

[thejuice]

Neurotypicals will talk behind your back if you try to fit in to one of their cliques, no matter how tolerant you are of them. That's a given, unless they have been taught not to by religion.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

I belong in the world. I never felt like I was on the wrong planet or didn't actually belong here. Society is not the world. If we focus on our (very dysfunctional) societies, it is easy to feel we don't belong. But, I'm not sure anyone really feels they belong there. Many people focused on society seem to have trouble living in the actual world, which is where they are. Though, I think they are also looking for something more peaceful and more real.

 

[Outdated]

I have three friends. One offline who lives over 100 miles away.
Two online friends living in other countries.

That's about the same for me, except my real life friend lives over 3000 Km away. I like it like that, really.

 

[Kayla55]

I belong in the world. I never felt like I was on the wrong planet or didn't actually belong here. Society is not the world. If we focus on our (very dysfunctional) societies, it is easy to feel we don't belong. But, I'm not sure anyone really feels they belong there. Many people focused on society seem to have trouble living in the actual world, which is where they are. Though, I think they are also looking for something more peaceful and more real.

You right I'm loosing my positive attitude which reason I got this far, it's a real test

 

[Misty Avich]

It's easier to belong when you're in an environment where there's a diversity of people. For example, where I work there are people of different nationalities, ages, sexualities and both genders. If I worked somewhere like in a beauty store with just girls in their 20s who were all into cosmetics, I probably wouldn't belong at all.

When it comes to society/the world in general, yes I do belong, because I'm a human, not some sort of alien. The world is not black and white, and not everybody's the same.
There might be little things that I feel the only one in the world thinks, like getting upset when seeing people's clothing tags sticking out or feeling triggered by the sound of "sshh" or a few other things that I'd rather not say here and have posted about on the mental health forum but sadly nobody has replied so I'm still not sure if I am the only one with these thoughts, but then I think that you don't really know what is going on in other people's heads, like maybe they have thoughts or attitudes or beliefs too that they feel embarrassed about sharing. You don't know.

Lastly, I think I'm the only person in the world who has never done all of the following:-
- had tattoos
- had piercings (not even my ears)
- dyed my hair
- been clubbing
- got drunk
- don't drink tea or coffee

Yep, I'm just about as boring as a blank wall. I would be happy living like this, if it wasn't for the fact that never having done these things makes me very unique, more unique than Asperger's or ADHD can. I bet everyone here has done at least something on that list.

 

[thejuice]

It's easier to belong when you're in an environment where there's a diversity of people. For example, where I work there are people of different nationalities, ages, sexualities and both genders. If I worked somewhere like in a beauty store with just girls in their 20s who were all into cosmetics, I probably wouldn't belong at all.

When it comes to society/the world in general, yes I do belong, because I'm a human, not some sort of alien. The world is not black and white, and not everybody's the same.
There might be little things that I feel the only one in the world thinks, like getting upset when seeing people's clothing tags sticking out or feeling triggered by the sound of "sshh" or a few other things that I'd rather not say here and have posted about on the mental health forum but sadly nobody has replied so I'm still not sure if I am the only one with these thoughts, but then I think that you don't really know what is going on in other people's heads, like maybe they have thoughts or attitudes or beliefs too that they feel embarrassed about sharing. You don't know.

Lastly, I think I'm the only person in the world who has never done all of the following:-
- had tattoos
- had piercings (not even my ears)
- dyed my hair
- been clubbing
- got drunk
- don't drink tea or coffee

Yep, I'm just about as boring as a blank wall. I would be happy living like this, if it wasn't for the fact that never having done these things makes me very unique, more unique than Asperger's or ADHD can. I bet everyone here has done at least something on that list.

I think not doing those things makes you unique today. At least you dont have to look back and regret the impulsive choices of youth. And youre not stuck with a load of crap tattoos.

 

[Misty Avich]

I think not doing those things makes you unique today.

That's what I said.

It's normal to dye your hair (especially for females) and have piercings (even if it's just ears) and at least one tattoo. I think dyeing hair is the most trendy if all among women. Those with brown or black hair dye it that reddish brown colour, and those with blonde hair put highlights in or dye it blonder. Even those who dye their hair green or blue to symbolise standing out don't exactly stand out any more. Those who do stand out are people like me with their natural colour hair, no earrings, and no make-up (I only wear lipstick sometimes). But there are lots of very subtle rules about make-up and I've been advised not to put too much on if I'm not very competent with make-up, stuff like that.

 

[Tired]

I feel like I don't belong neither with NT, nor with ND people, I am somewhere in the middle because of my social anxiety.

 

[Misty Avich]

I feel like I don't belong on autism sites really because of getting a diagnosis so early in life while it seems to be the norm for autistic people to actually slip through the cracks all through childhood and not realise they're autistic until sometime around midlife, or early 20s for millennials. The only autistic people who did get a diagnosis early on in life are those with obvious delays, which I didn't have. So I feel alone (and angry too) there.

 

[RemyZee]

I often feel like I don't belong, ie I almost never feel like I belong. At times it bothers me and at times I like the solitude. But the time I genuinely experienced inclusion was living in a tiny art town where people collaborated on projects and were centered on the act of "making," so there weren't the challenges of having to be constantly chatty, of being different or the challenges of leisure time with others. Pretty much everyone in that group was different anyway so I didn't have to hide being weird. It made me see that there are actually places where I can belong, my eccentricity and forgetfulness forgiven in occasional circumstances, but it definitely wasn't easy to find.

 

[FayetheAspie]

I feel like I don't belong on autism sites really because of getting a diagnosis so early in life while it seems to be the norm for autistic people to actually slip through the cracks all through childhood and not realise they're autistic until sometime around midlife, or early 20s for millennials. The only autistic people who did get a diagnosis early on in life are those with obvious delays, which I didn't have. So I feel alone (and angry too) there.

I was frequently referred to as being aspergers from the time I was about 11 or 12 I think it was. I just never got officially evaluated until I was an adult.

 

[Misty Avich]

When I was first diagnosed I used to think everyone on the spectrum were diagnosed at exactly the same age. Well, that was when I first learnt that there were other people on the spectrum in the world, as I felt I was the only person in the world with it at one time. The only other person I met who was autistic was a little boy who was the son of my mum's friend. He was about 7 but was very severely affected. He couldn't talk and was just locked in his own world and had extreme meltdowns that were triggered by everyday noises such as planes flying in the sky. He'd scream a really high-pitched scream, which frightened me. He was more like a wild animal than a human child. He was also in diapers. I felt like an NT compared to him - although once I did ask mum if I was like him. She said not even close, but I said that both him and me were on the same spectrum, but she said I didn't really have autism, just Asperger's which is a form of autism but not as severe.

Unfortunately we can't use that term any more. We're all just autistic, no matter what.

 

[Lemon Zing]

Often, I do.