Anyone else terrified of driving?

[Sid Delicious]

I've had a few more lessons since the terrible one above and today my instructor told me we've covered the entire 'syllabus'. So now it's just a case of getting it all to stick in my brain so I can do it automatically, then perfecting everything so I can drive like the Stig.

I'm fairly calm when I notice other drivers waiting for me. Or perhaps I'm just too egotistical to care if I'm holding people up! haha! I just try harder to get the manouver perfect so I can show off my skills!

Today we had a go at parallel parking and sat navs (not what I call them). Parallel parking I absolutely loved. I think it's probably the easiest thing for an autistic person to master, as it's just a list of very specific movements and measurements in a set order. Once he showed me a couple of times, I managed to get it pretty much immediately and I don't think I'll forget. I wish all driving was like that! Reverse bay parking is still a nightmare though. We spent an entire lesson on bay parking in December and I can now forwards bay park relatively easily, as long as I pay attention. But for some reason my brain gets incredibly confused when I attempt to do the exact same routine backwards!

Then after parallel parking ten times the instructor pulled out a sat nav and got me to follow a set route. I've decided I likely won't ever use a sat nav once I pass, as the added interruptions while I'm already trying to concentrate on multiple things is just dangerous (plus her voice drives me nuts). I got completely confused at a roundabout when both the sat nav and my instructor said something to me, and ended up taking the wrong turn and forgetting to signal (fortunately there was no one behind me) then stopping at a set of traffic lights too early as I didn't notice them until I was really close. Multi-tasking and getting my limbs to respond more quickly to my brain is going to be the hardest bit for me, but I'm very gradually improving every lesson. I think today was the 11th hour, so hopefully by the time I've had 20 hours of lessons I will be able to drive in my sleep. My neice/nephew is due in late August/early September, so my goal is to pass my test by the summer so I can drive across the country to visit!

 

[Progster]

I have a lot of anxiety while driving to new places or in busy traffic or large cities.

 

[pjcnet]

I have a lot of anxiety while driving to new places or in busy traffic or large cities.

This maybe more common for people on the autistic spectrum, but it's certainly not uncommon for many NTs either, I've known quite a few NT drivers in my time that weren't happy driving to new places, on the motorway or in large cities and loads of people aren't willing to drive through the centre of London in the UK (I don't know what it's like in more recent years with the introduction of congestion charges).

In other words, it's not something us aspies should beat ourselves up over and this anxiety can often still be beaten. I've for instance driven around the M25 (arguably the worst motorway in Britain) and through the centre of London in 1996 to Wembley Stadium on a major football cup final day and it was my very first time driving through London (talk about jumping in at the deep end). I was anxious about it and yes, it was hell as it most likely was for many NT drivers too because the traffic was utterly horrendous and in those days we didn't even have Sat Navs, but I still did it safely and I was proud of myself for it afterwards.

 

[Progster]

This maybe more common for people on the autistic spectrum, but it's certainly not uncommon for many NTs either, I've known quite a few NT drivers in my time that weren't happy driving to new places, on the motorway or in large cities and loads of people aren't willing to drive through the centre of London in the UK (I don't know what it's like in more recent years with the introduction of congestion charges).

In other words, it's not something us aspies should beat ourselves up over and this anxiety can often still be beaten. I've for instance driven around the M25 (arguably the worst motorway in Britain) and through the centre of London in 1996 to Wembley Stadium on a major football cup final day and it was my very first time driving through London (talk about jumping in at the deep end). I was anxious about it and yes, it was hell as it most likely was for many NT drivers too because the traffic was utterly horrendous and in those days we didn't even have Sat Navs, but I still did it safely and I was proud of myself for it afterwards.

Yes, it's true that NTs may have similar anxieties as we do, such as with driving, or sometimes they have sensory sensitivities and avoid certain situations. My partner doesn't like driving in big cities either, in fact, he doesn't like big cities full stop, he finds then noisy and chaotic.

 

[thatmattattack]

I was never all that interested in learning how to drive or actually driving places until I turned seventeen and discovered the limited freedom that I had without this supposedly "absolutely necessary" part of being an adult. Being from the country didn't help either as there was very limited access to public transportation and the scheduling on those was confusing and inconsistent at best.

I will say that I had previously gotten my driver's permit when I was fifteen because the theory of driving was something that interested me at the time, but I didn't legitimately drive a car until two years later. Even then, I was terrified and went weeks, maybe even months, without going any faster than what the car does after moving from "P" to "D."

Eventually, though, I did put my foot on the gas pedal because I was tired of going the speed limit of a slow tractor or especially slow moped for someone with two DUI convictions and wanted to get the show on the road already. I think that's probably a key, too: actively and actually being genuine with wanting to learn to drive. Like many things in life, the activity of practicing and doing is often ten times harder when it is something that you don't actually want to spend your time doing. Associating the idea of driving with freedom certainly helped me in that regard.

I would also say that getting stuck on the details of driving is something that I had to time after time break myself from before it ever became to close to being second nature. For instance, when I was first learning to drive I obsessively looked in the rearview mirrors to make sure that I was within the lane lines and not touching them, not even a little bit. In reality, this was causing me more problems because I wasn't looking where I was supposed to be -- namely, ahead of me where the lines also were present -- and because I misread the situation and didn't think simply guiding the car in the middle of the lane lines would enable me to stay between them all the way. I remember thinking, "This is exhausting!" and "How does anybody do this?!" and, at least in retrospect, it's kind of funny to think how much I worried about those small things that did not actually matter in the way that I thought they did.

I also say the above because -- and this is regardless of where you live or work -- defensive driving is something that does not concern itself with all of the little details; it's very much a driving methodology that focuses and runs on noticing what is in front of you and effectively reacting in time with or even before that event. There are plenty of people out there that should definitely not be driving and those are the ones that you need to watch out.

I'll also say that there's nothing wrong with taking things slow, or at least slower than the typical driver does, because it allows you to be able to concentrate better and not second guess yourself as much. For example, I have some spatial awareness and direction problems, so I always give myself time to make turns and go across lanes of traffic at my own pace, especially at night when it's even more difficult for me to estimate how far cars are away from me with their blinding front lights. I also habitually use my GPS navigator, even to places I know, because it's able to give me a verbal ("Turn right in 400 feet") and pictorial command (via my phone screen) on where to turn and when.

At the end of the day, driving is definitely something that a lot of people are capable of. The solution is just to make sure there's enough practice, time, patience, and support being given as you go about learning to drive.