Are any of you ahead because u are ND?

[kenaij]

Like others, yes and no.

If I look at my wife and kids. I would have never been where I am right now unless I had my autistic traits. Also. Because of these traits I never had a relationship before I met my wife. Not for lack of trying, or because others were not interested initially. But I either ran away when it became more serieus or they did. My wife likes me for a lot of my more uncommen traits and that is a big part of why she fell in love with me. Also. Because of not having prior serieus relationships and simply not being comfortable with anyone like I am with my wife. I think it is way easier to just work out our differences (which there are not many of) instead of breaking the relationship off like most other people.

When it comes to school it has not helped at all. Ever.
I don`t like to blame anything for me not doing too well in school. And during that period I blamed it on being shy, lazy or simply not motivated. But looking back. Autism is a logical explenation to cover all the problems I had.

For work. It is kind of in the middle. I`m very good at my job because of my traits and how they influence my work ethic. But my social traits also cause me to 'burn-out' way quicker than other people. So it works very well for others, not so much for me.

There are more things to measure succes, but my post will be way to big if I would cover them all.

 

[autism-and-autotune]

I have made some decisions in life that netted a payoff. So l feel okay about being ND. What's your take? Do you see that your analytical skills took you farther then a random stranger who doesn't use logic as a part of their sandbox tool?
This isn't meant to discredit NT's who also visit our site.

Interesting. I feel that maybe to some extent I'm ahead in life due to skills which are strengthened by my neurodivergence, but from a real-life and practical sense I'm way way behind. There are just many things which I cannot do.

 

[MNAus]

What a great question @Aspychata . Really.

It's difficult, of course, so many variables. But if i were to guess, I would guess that without ASD I wouldn't have achieved as much.

 

[Ken]

No. I've always felt inferior to NTs and ashamed of who I am (not saying all autistic people are inferior as a fact, I'm just saying how I feel).

It would be easy for me to say the same thing. Except a little after the age of 64, and reflecting back on my life, I realized that I actually did succeed. Previous to that age, I considered myself mentally defective, and I was certainly not alone in that consideration.

I was not social or socially compatible or capable. No friends - or at least no human friends. It would normally be considered that I needed a lot of help, but none was available. I never thought about that since I never had it to know what is was like with it. I never considered any thoughts of being "let down" by anyone as that was my only experience - the norm. I had parents, but they were the opposite of supportive. Somehow I actually managed to survive.

What ended up saving me was my special interest - my life's obsession. Until I left home, it was forbidden, but I still practiced it in hiding. I would often get caught and punished.

In general, life was hell. There never seemed to be any benefit for my existence except for my enjoyment of practicing my obsession.

Eventually, my passion was discovered by a business owner that thought it would be useful. Unfortunately, I could not fit in socially so that never lasted. But then, finally, a business recognized my passion and did not require any social interaction. Finding that job was like a miracle roll of the dice. I was in heaven there. No social interaction and I got to freely play with my special interest, not get into trouble for it and instead; get paid for it!

I have never met any NT with that level of obsession. I now know that was my success. Everyone else at the business had an esteemed degree. In fact it was a requirement. I could never manage college, due to my extreme social anxiety, so no degree. It's odd that I was even hired. I was the only one there without a degree, but the degreed engineers would often come ask me questions. Eventually, the boss required all the engineers to have their designs reviewed by me before submitting them. I really don't think that would have ever happened if I did not have such an intense obsession and I don't think I could have been that obsessed if I was not autistic.

However, if I had not "lucked" into that job, I would not have considered myself "successful." I believe that means we are all more talented than we realize. Just the right roll of the dice simply hasn't happened yet. Even if it never does, you are still more talented than you know.

 

[Outdated]

It's odd that I was even hired. I was the only one there without a degree, but the degreed engineers would often come ask me questions. Eventually, the boss required all the engineers to have their designs reviewed by me before submitting them.

This was also the same for me. I never managed to get an apprenticeship so officially I wasn't a tradesman, yet I was better paid and more respected than most other tradesmen. They even preferred me to train apprentices because I had a natural understanding of how things worked instead of having to remember things by rote.

These days there seems to be such an emphasis on certification that to a large degree true talent is being ignored. Consider two different medical doctors, one worked hard and was studious and spent most of their time studying hard and had to really work to achieve their degree, the other breezed through medical school and spent most nights down the pub with his mates because everything made sense to him and he understood it all with ease.

I know which of those two doctors I'd rather see.

 

[MROSS]

I feel it's best to remain neutral.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

My retirement is going well. Main issue was the stroke not me being an Aspie, my brother being a fellow Aspie helped. My job know is to be a very good grand father.

 

[Cryptid]

Am I ahead because I am Neuro-Diverse?

Maybe. What motivated me to do well in school and succeed in my career was the determination to show my enemies and detractors how wrong they were about me. The only sad part is that most of those people are either dead or they could not care less.

But I succeeded anyway!

 

[The Pandector]

I have made some decisions in life that netted a payoff. So l feel okay about being ND. What's your take? Do you see that your analytical skills took you farther then a random stranger who doesn't use logic as a part of their sandbox tool?
This isn't meant to discredit NT's who also visit our site.

Socially, I’m flatulence in an elevator, unless I really try to be likable, in which case it’s worse.

Financially, my analytical skills allowed me to stumble through life with a decent pair of shoes. I can’t imagine living the solitude and alienation without some super power to get me through, so I’m a weaker person than those that do so.

 

[Slime_Punk]

There's conflicting definitions of High Functioning. In diagnostic terms it seems to refer mostly to our ability to fit in with society where as I and many other people associate the term with the many different gifts that come with our autism.

I actually wonder if this varies by country as well, because in the US 'high functioning' tends to indicate that you have none of the intellectual disabilities that are typically associated with ASD.

Meanwhile, I've also had professionals try to tell me I couldn't have ASD because I have an average-to-high IQ, so honestly it feels like people bend the rules all the time to fit their narrative over here.

 

[The Pandector]

I actually wonder if this varies by country as well, because in the US 'high functioning' tends to indicate that you have none of the intellectual disabilities that are typically associated with ASD.

Meanwhile, I've also had professionals try to tell me I couldn't have ASD because I have an average-to-high IQ, so honestly it feels like people bend the rules all the time to fit their narrative over here.

Yes. I have just recently been trying to understand what other autistic people think certain words mean. Doesn’t seem to work because most people don’t care, use the words as they choose. I guess that works for some. Hey, could you hand me that dealy-bob over there? Yeah, I knew what he was talking about.

 

[AspieChris]

I was blessed and cursed with a deeply seeded need to understand how things work, and when I say this, I read and try to get hands-on experience with everything and anything. I will do just about anything once. I am also a perfectionist, so even if I have no idea of how to do things, I will take the time to understand all the nuances and finer details of what I am looking at or am trying to do. I love doing research, tinkering, playing around with things, experimenting, and I am not afraid of making mistakes. I have had a very long list of special interests over the years and I will take deep dives into all of them. So, over the decades, I have gained a lot of working knowledge on a rather broad range of subjects. All of this, I attribute to my autism. If I were born neurotypical, I am not sure I would have these characteristics and I would be significantly less knowledgeable, putting me at a disadvantage in life.

You just described me perfectly.

I love and hate my ASD. It really comes in handy when I’m trying to solve a problem, but fails me horribly when I can’t understand why my wife is so angry at me. (She both loves and hates is also )

 

[vergil96]

It seriously upsets me how some people on this site and in other communities seem to equate problems at school with autism spectrum. I'll quote my doctor: "People with Asperger's syndrome cope well in life and even hold managerial positions" Perhaps it would be more polite to not generalise, because maybe difficulties at school are in the higher support needs fragment of the spectrum. It would be awful to exclude the people with more difficulties as well - I hope it's possible to get along and share the same communities, because some of the problems really are more common to all autism "levels" than they are different. I personally feel better in communities such as this one that includes people with more difficulties as well, because I feel more understood that I just cannot do certain things and get overwhelmed. More ASD-1 dominated spaces seem to seem to hold the opinion that if you try harder, you can somehow "understand" and "just do it" and the notion of overwhelm is foreign to them. Nobody seems to experience social burnout or be distressed about routine.

 

[AspieChris]

Meanwhile, I've also had professionals try to tell me I couldn't have ASD because I have an average-to-high IQ, so honestly it feels like people bend the rules all the time to fit their narrative over here.

Lots of “professionals” are inexperienced with ASD, particularly in adults. They think that watching Rainman qualifies them to judge you based on an IQ test that’s full of numbers and puzzles. That high IQ test score is probably a good indicator that you ARE autistic.

 

[vergil96]

That high IQ test score is probably a good indicator that you ARE autistic.

I have heard that over and over from mental health proffessionals that my IQ = autism. Mind you, it doesn't mean I'm good at everything or that I don't have struggles if I turned all these tests upside down.

 

[Aspychata]

Maybe more willing to take chances because of being ND. Like not be held tightly by what society thinks l should do.

 

[Cryptid]

I'll quote my doctor: "People with Asperger's syndrome cope well in life and even hold managerial positions."

Your doctor would be more correct to say, "Some people with Asperger's syndrome cope well in life and even hold managerial positions."

Some members of this website are Aspies who have difficulty just making friends, living independently, and sticking with college-level courses. And yes, others have made great strides in education, employment, and socializing; but these two groups of people are at opposite ends of the "bell curve", with most Aspies muddling along somewhere in the middle.

The "bell curve" itself would have "Percent of Aspies" as the X-axis, and "Success" as the Y-axis, with a big bump in the middle, tapering off to zero at the extreme ends.

 

[vergil96]

Your doctor would be more correct to say, "Some people with Asperger's syndrome cope well in life and even hold managerial positions."

Some members of this website are Aspies who have difficulty just making friends, living independently, and sticking with college-level courses. And yes, others have made great strides in education, employment, and socializing; but these two groups of people are at opposite ends of the "bell curve", with most Aspies muddling along somewhere in the middle.

The "bell curve" itself would have "Percent of Aspies" as the X-axis, and "Success" as the Y-axis, with a big bump in the middle, tapering off to zero at the extreme ends.

This is the higher support need according to her, though, if someone cannot live independently and has problems doing any kind of job and studying at school due to non-social factors. That is some level of intellectual disability. I would trust someone who is competent at doing their job and who has a lot of education and practice more than a crowd on the internet. Where is this information coming from that most people with Asperger's cannot live independently or have a job coming from, even? Is it confirmed in any way? No, it comes from echo chambers on the internet where such people gather. If someone doesn't have a job, they spend more time on the internet. The statistic that people on the autism spectrum don't work comes from those who have needed an official diagnosis, and they needed it because of said difficulties - it's a circular argument. If someone didn't have a need, they wouldn't get diagnosed.

Of course, I'm not denying that especially people on the autism spectrum who have higher support needs have trouble living independently and having a job. But it just is what it is - higher support needs. It doesn't mean that someone who is "level 1" cannot experience symptoms of autism and to want to cope with them.