Are Aspergarians unloveable?

[Slyfox]

$30K translates to about $2500/mo. That is workable under some COLIs. A realistic woman can live with that if everything else is in place.

ouch and this is why I need to give up

 

[Slyfox]

Aspergerians are not unlovable, we are special, sensitive and kind.
Some of us mis use our sensitivity and get over emotional like me. Others utilise it to become intuitive, perceptive and wise.
Love is the meaning of life, it is the opposite of fear, hate is behind fear.
Tony Attwood the leading expert on Aspergers has views to the contrary of your view, that we are evolutionary dead ends, he thinks we are the next stage of human evolution.
It is not a disease, it is an advanced state of human evolution.
Dr Edward Hall, a Mohawk Native American Indian thinks we have a licence to be a shaman

aspies like me are deemed as unlovable and worthless.

 

[Slyfox]

If that were true there would be no children with autism. The CDC estimates that there is 1 autistic child to every 68 children born in the United States. The Real Reasons Autism Rates Are Up in the U.S.



I doubt if anyone is, unless it is in the first months or years of a relationship. The idea of love was likely created to mythologise biological processes and maintain the continuum of our species.



Autism is inherited genetically, it's not a disease.

autistic kids are born to two non autistic parents all the time. where you think first autistic kid came from? they Don't know what causes autism. two autisitc people can and do have non autistic kids. its probably mixure of genes from two people that causes it and maybe it skips generations like other gene mutations.

 

[Crossbreed]

ouch and this is why I need to give up

Because of the OP's income,
or the necessity of adopting responsibility for the other person in the relationship...?

 

[Crossbreed]

autistic kids are born to two non autistic parents all the time.

You are forgetting that either parent can be undiagnosed ASD1s. Autism doesn't just mean ASD2s & 3s.

 

[Slyfox]

You are forgetting that either parent can be undiagnosed ASD1s. Autism doesn't just mean ASD2s & 3s.

possible, but likely doesn't make up for majority. again first there were no autstics, unless you think the first humans had autism, I highly doubt a autistic person would survived or been welcomed into early tribes. Even today in modern world, humans still want to get rid of us. I personally am Christian and I don't think adam or eve were autistic. purely my opinion but I don't think people with autism existed until recent times. I hope one day they can find out what causes it and prevent or cure unborn babies of it.I don't wish my hell of life on any one.

 

[Slyfox]

Because of the OP's income,
or the necessity of adopting responsibility for the other person in the relationship...?

I get ssdi and work min wage. I make around $16000 a year. I'm worthless as man, not even considered one by most women. Responsibility isn't connected to money. for most of human history women weren't allowed to work. I don't think those women were incapable of responsibility or less of humans. I don't see why men today are seen as such due to their income. seems unlikely to change in next few generations men will continue to suffer. its why men kill themselves so high. I consider them the lucky ones. They're free, I'm forced to suffer long drawn out hell. not even good enough for unemployed college drop outs living off their parents.

 

[Crossbreed]

again first there were no autstics,...

There have always been autistics [ASD1]. You can look at both family histories and general history and recognize them. Asperger was just the first to document us.

Everything that you are saying about autism is true about Kanner's [ASD2/3] autism.

Dr. Lorna Wing was the first to place them all in a spectrum.

See Autlanders, Thriving Outside of the Box: Autism Subtypes...

 

[Slyfox]

There have always been autistics [ASD1]. You can look at both family histories and general history and recognize them. Asperger was just the first to document us.

Everything that you are saying about autism is true about Kanner's [ASD2/3] autism.

Dr. Lorna Wing was the first to place them all in a spectrum.

See Autlanders, Thriving Outside of the Box: Autism Subtypes...

I don't think so. people with autism would never survived as cavmen. roman times, 12th century.

 

[Crossbreed]

I make around $16000 a year.

That is what I make on SSDI, too. We make a little more because our daughter rents from us. SSDI will pay an additional amount to wife & children, but that total is fixed like $500-$600/mo.

 

[Crossbreed]

I don't think so. people with autism would never survived as cavmen. roman times, 12th century.

History's 30 Most Inspiring People on the Autism Spectrum
Famous People with Autism [180+]

 

[Gift2humanity]

That doesn’t help, you’re afraid to suffer in death so you suffer in life? What sick sense of humor have the gods?! What sick mistake is life?!

Life is for learning. Suffering is lessons. If we kill ourselves, all we are left with is our mind, our ego, and no body, so we can no longer alleviate our suffering which we will still feel after death, despite not having a body, we will still feel our emotions. I'd rather live out my life and learn, rather than kill myself and be a suffering mind/ego still feeling the pain, but without a body.

 

[Alexej]

A rhetorical question

Are we human beings on a spiritual journey or
spiritual beings on a human journey?

 

[Mia]

autistic kids are born to two non autistic parents all the time.

I don't know if that's true. Parents may have some autistic traits that are not recognized. But not enough to be considered fully autistic. Many would have learned early on to hide these traits.

 

[Slyfox]

Why would you consider yourself worthless? This says more about how you perceive yourself than anything else. When I met my husband we were both going to school at night. Neither of us had much income, we both worked low paying jobs. Both of are ASD1 and have been married for nearly forty years.

cause everyone considers me worthless. world is how it is. we can't change it. we cant make pigs fly.
would you have dated him if he wasn't in school? what if he was working min wage job and planned to rest of his life? I'm 33, this will be me money situation for rest of my life. theres no high paying job in my future if anything I'll lose my current job and make less then 900 a month from SSA. no woman will date me. they tell me I'm not good enough, I'm not a real man. etc.

 

[VictorR]

cause everyone considers me worthless. world is how it is. we can't change it. we cant make pigs fly.
would you have dated him if he wasn't in school? what if he was working min wage job and planned to rest of his life? I'm 33, this will be me money situation for rest of my life. theres no high paying job in my future if anything I'll lose my current job and make less then 900 a month from SSA. no woman will date me. they tell me I'm not good enough, I'm not a real man. etc.

I can't tell you how many middle-aged men I've seen with no job, no home of their own and no high school find someone who'll take them in.

Sometimes negativity can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, and as such, it can pay to take a more positive (yet pragmatic) view on things

 

[Slyfox]

I can't tell you how many middle-aged men I've seen with no job, no home of their own and no high school find someone who'll take them in.

Sometimes negativity can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, and as such, it can pay to take a more positive (yet pragmatic) view on things

my area has 2,000 pllus more men then women, theres no reason any woman would have to date a worthless loser, so they don't. now in nyc where theres million more women then men theres more incentive to settle. nearly every woman on dating sites state they won't date a guy who doesn't have a car, good paying job and own place. I'm not making it up. I've had female friends tell me i won't ever get a gf unless I get off my ass and go get a real job.m
When I first started dating I was postive and guess what it didn't help causeI didn't meet the qualifications. no amount of postive thinking will get youa job at apple if you aren't qualified. like wise most women won't settle for less then a guy with his life together and no postive thinking will change that. so unless I'm willing to lie to them for weeks or month and hope they don't care when they find out its hopeless for me. they know from get go that i'm min wage employee. and ones who don't ask in first 10 questions and then say "sorry, but it just won't work out, you don't make enough."

 

[VictorR]

my area has 2,000 pllus more men then women, theres no reason any woman would have to date a worthless loser, so they don't. now in nyc where theres million more women then men theres more incentive to settle. nearly every woman on dating sites state they won't date a guy who doesn't have a car, good paying job and own place. I'm not making it up. I've had female friends tell me i won't ever get a gf unless I get off my ass and go get a real job.m
When I first started dating I was postive and guess what it didn't help causeI didn't meet the qualifications. no amount of postive thinking will get youa job at apple if you aren't qualified. like wise most women won't settle for less then a guy with his life together and no postive thinking will change that. so unless I'm willing to lie to them for weeks or month and hope they don't care when they find out its hopeless for me. they know from get go that i'm min wage employee. and ones who don't ask in first 10 questions and then say "sorry, but it just won't work out, you don't make enough."

The place I'm referring to has a 102:100 M:F ratio, and in the 45-49 age bracket, a 107:100 M:F ratio.

So we're talking about a market where women have choice, and there are many with worse scenarios than yours who are able to find love.

I think we've been through this before, but if those in your market are too into gold-digging, then you need to cast your net elsewhere.

At the day of the day, what someone seeking a relationship wants is to have their needs satisfied. Some want money, but that's just a proxy for other things. Being a caring, respectful person with a good personality goes a long way.

If you're emitting negativity, then in that case money is the only redeeming factor you can offer, since a potential partner would have to buy their way to happiness.

It can be a tough journey, but steer the conversations away from work and money, and into areas where you have strengths, like dedication, care, loyalty, etc.

You can do it.

 

[Slyfox]

That is what I make on SSDI, too. We make a little more because our daughter rents from us. SSDI will pay an additional amount to wife & children, but that total is fixed like $500-$600/mo.

thats my work and SSDI I only get $800ish from SSDI a month. I get less then teen working full time at fastfood. they make $28k a year vs my $9,600 a year without my job. I can never get married or live with gf, i'd lose all my benefits and I can't handle working over 20 hours a week. Women at my work dont even bother talking to me as I'm so beneath them. they talk to and date the guys in college though as they have future. me I'll be working there until they fire me, close or i die so I just get to see everyone else be happy and date each other every day. I wish it was illegal to be romantic at work. I already hate working and then i have to seem them kiss, hug, hold hands and flirt with each other

 

[Slyfox]

The place I'm referring to has a 102:100 M:F ratio, and in the 45-49 age bracket, a 107:100 M:F ratio.

So we're talking about a market where women have choice, and there are many with worse scenarios than yours who are able to find love.

I think we've been through this before, but if those in your market are too into gold-digging, then you need to cast your net elsewhere.

At the day of the day, what someone seeking a relationship wants is to have their needs satisfied. Some want money, but that's just a proxy for other things. Being a caring, respectful person with a good personality goes a long way.

If you're emitting negativity, then in that case money is the only redeeming factor you can offer, since a potential partner would have to buy their way to happiness.

It can be a tough journey, but steer the conversations away from work and money, and into areas where you have strengths, like dedication, care, loyalty, etc.

You can do it.

i dont know how ratios translat to compare. but 2,000 plus more men is alot. and they can also date men from elsewhere in state. I often see women in person complaining about lack of men which they mean men with good jobs. I'm invisible to them.

gold digging is trying to date bill gates. women as most people want to have a middle class lifestyile so they only want to date men who will help towards that. anyone who dates me will have to accept they'll never have that lifsytle. life with me will mean always being poor. I can't afford a car, I can't afford trips to europe. I can't afford to eat out every day. doesn't help most women in my area work as nurses and thus are well paid. they're also teachers and office workers etc also well paid. feminism worked, but unfortunately women now tend to have better paying jobs then most men. women go to college more then and graduate more then men. the result is what feminist sites complain about a lack of quality men to date successfully women.
again 95% of women won't even talk to me so I emitt nothing. they see my profile that I work min wage and refuse to talk to me. women at work know how much I make and refuse to talk to me to point of point blank ignoring me if I try to talk to them.

they never get to see that i'm funny, caring , loyal and compassionate cause they can find guys with their life together that have all those or change to have all those. as I was told over and over on another autism site I have nothing to offer that any other guy couldn't also offer on top of his job and money. I'm a car thts been in wreck basically would you buy a totalled car a new car?

I can't lie. so what do I say if they want to meet somewhere bus doesnt go? get me to pickthem up? go to place I can't afford. what do I say when they keep asking where i work and what I do? those strenghts would only ever show up after dating for while I can't even get a first date.