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Are most guests Neurotypicals

I think that having a lot of Neurotypical guests on this site could be a good thing; it might inform them more that we aren't just those "weird" people; that we're nice people who just want to fit in and be loved. It could lead some Neurotypicals to treat Aspies better and to be more considerate of them!
 
I don't see how we can know whether guests to the site are NT or otherwise. Isn't all of this conjecture?
 
@ Bay: It is conjecture. As you say; "question assumptions". Many guests are likely people unsure whether or not they're Aspies, some are probably Aspies who are vetting the place to see whether or not they think its a good fit for them, others, as Loomis articulated, are probably friends or family members (colleagues or spouses etc.) of Aspies.

In my case, I AM one of those weird people BUT I don't look like one so when someone interacts with me & the weirdness becomes apparent, it really throws them off. As for wanting to fit in, I know that in my case with the world being currently as it is, I never will. I don't want to find myself fitting into the current world: NTs themselves are being driven batty by the world they've played the lead role in creating. I'd like to see more Aspie/NT/people with 'disabilities' alliances (can be done online for those Aspies who are uncomfortable in face to face settings or who have difficulty travelling) in engineering, architecture & general design. Places like office towers, shops, cafes & restaurants could be rendered more user friendly for all. As things stand now, no group is truly content.
 
conjecture-i neither proposed this nor made an assumption - I merely posed a question; perhaps I should have worded it rather better and used a question mark.-i will endeavor not to make that error again! perhaps an explanation as to why this question was posed might allay those that may wish to question my motives-I noticed a disproportionate number of guests to actual registered members and wondered who makes up the numbers-were they neurotypicals who wished to remain invisible or possible new members-it was a question born out of curiosity- if there were easier ways to ask and get a broader overall picture of this website/forum I would have done so- the simplest route open to me was to post this question- i am neither in the habit of making broad assumptions nor am i out to stir up trouble. one final point-The administrators may have the relevant tools to find out both who uses this forum/site and why they choose to access it.There may be a tool similar to google analytics.
 
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In my limited experience, there are more guests to a forum than actual members. I would be surprised if there were a way to determine the psychological profile of the guests. In fact, I don't always sign in, so I would be counted as a guest on those occasions.
 
While there are many tools available to gather information/statistics on guests, it is completely impossible to tell whether a guest is on the spectrum or is Neurotypical. A computer cannot "read" a person.

Regarding the previous posts about NT bashing and leaving the site:

I would appeal to all members to remain on Aspies Central. You guys are what makes this place unique and AC would be nothing without you. NT bashing, drama and trolling is the reason why Aspies Central was set up in the first place - I wanted a place to get away from all of that. I wanted to do things differently. I haven't personally noticed any NT bashing on here recently as I have been out of town a lot recently and busy with other stuff. Keep in mind also that myself and the moderators cannot read every single post either or always be aware if a particular member has a negative attitude towards Neurotypicals overall.

If you see something that breaks the rules, the best thing to do is to report it to a moderator for review. Alternatively you can send a Private Message to any staff member if you have a problem with another members behavior/attitude. The report post button is located below each post on the left hand side. Staff have various tools and methods for dealing with problematic posts and members.
 
We've all been bullied,harassed, fired and more because of our difference. We would have to be saints to not want to talk about it to each other.
 
Although I agree with much being said and that many neurotypicals have problems and their fair share of struggle, they are not nearly as poorly supported as many on the spectrum, aspergers or otherwise- the depression and suicide rate amongst our Asperger community is higher proportionately as is the isolation. Many of us have limited/or no family contact or children of our own. When you are on your own you are literally "on your own". This site has been a great help but many live on the other side of the world or time lines are just not compatible-yesterday I really could have done with a friend as I was on a huge downer-I'm ok today although a bit flat but sometimes this can last for weeks. Maybe some Aspies do not feel the need of others -I, on the other hand, do feel that need/want to interact, to talk,to dream, to share space sometimes and to have physical contact, platonic or otherwise. I too want to love and be loved.(I do show love but not always the same way ) For me, this isolation is physically painful and feels icy cold and barren. I, like many, need my personal space and protect that but when I am like this, I feel as if I am in a vacuum, in a world of one and my very lifeblood is being sucked from me! On the 14 hours I logged on and off this site yesterday there were two messages in the shout box. I may be different but I go to bed at 1.30am-as by then my spine has had enough and feels like its going to implode and I am forced to lie down-its a good routine and helps me regulate my sleep, occasionally with some meds to help me along-many on this site are just getting started at that time. There is no other site like this that is mainly for Aspies,that suits me, so I will stick with this for now. For some life sucks and then sucks some more! Moan/rant complete.
 
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As Droopy said there is no way to know who is / isn't NT. Personally I think the percentages would be something like this (as I don't see any reason why someone would actively search for a forum on ASD's unless they had, suspected or knew of someone with one);

Has ASD....40%
Thinks they may have ASD....40%
Has a relative/friend with ASD....12%
Has a relative/friend who may have an ASD....5%
NT who has come across someone with ASD....2%
NT who stumbled across the site for whatever reason....1%

The common element here is information, they all want information for slightly varying reasons and if they sign up to become members what does it matter as long as they are friendly.
 
I agree entirely-but I have noticed on other sites that guests look but cannot interact unless they register-I would like to see an open forum where everybody registered so that we could open up dialogue between NT's and Aspies so that we can educate them on how we actually view the world and our perception can be articulated using an this forum as a conduit-on "our terms", so to speak. Am I way off base here?
 
I think you've got it spot on, Rolo. Aspies & Nts have got to learn to get along & work together for our mutual benefit. One of the problems, as I see it, is that initiatives taken by the NT world ( & its systems) to 'help' Aspies all start with the assumption that WE are defective & damaged & need to be taught to be more like them. This was the same assumption the whites who came to North America made regarding Aboriginal people. Those poor backward suffering inept naive Natives need to be 'educated'. That word became a euphemism for 'divested of their Native-ness'. We Aspies face a similar challenge rendered all the more difficult because it is hard for us to find
each other: we don't live in bands & tribes with our own meeting places & internal resources. We develop our culture largely in isolation. Sites like this one are some of the few places where we can meet and interact. Further complicating matters is that many Aspies were 'educated' in special schools run by NTs where we were brainwashed into thinking that every problem in our lives, every interaction that goes wrong, every time we feel down or frustrated it's essentially our 'fault' & due to Asperger's.

As Rolo says, we need to play the lead role in educating NTs on our terms. We also need to take the lead in designing programmes to educate Aspie children. We HAVE people who've become social workers & teachers & professors & Shrinks & every other kind of expert you can imagine. Some of us have mastered being true to our nature yet getting what we want out of life (NOT what some NT run school told us we ought to expect & want).

We ARE different to the majority NT population. If you look honestly at NT/Aspie culture, we have a higher suicide rate- by a narrow margin BUT they have a higher murder rate- by a long-shot! We have lower rates of marriage & child rearing. They have astronomical divorce, domestic violence & child abuse/neglect rates.

We both have problems within our neurotypes that need addressing. ORS are always supposedly due to all our flaws caused by Asperger's, theirs are NEVER due to the grievous challenges engendered by being NTs! I smell a double standard, one that is not scientific or logical & one that is based on a one-sided prejudicial assumptions.
 
Gomendosi said:
As the old saying goes... You hit the nail right on the head! Just one of the many reasons why I may soon leave this site.

What follows herein is my own observation!

99.9% percent of us owe our very existence to NT's and "bashing" them is something I saw on other sites which is why I joined this forum in the first place, my parents were/ are NT's, so were/ are my siblings, so were/ are 99.9% of the individuals I interact with in regular everyday life, so they are different but "bashing them is like calling out racial slurs to a minority or homophobic sentiments to a lesbian... draw your own simile here.

In recent weeks there has been a rise in NT put downs, expressed anger, elitism, pretty much just disguised bigotry in general. I am not saying the mods are not doing their jobs, I am not saying the webmaster has dropped the ball and I am not saying the current influx of members has changed things negatively, I am saying that the overall tone of the place is changing and I am not the only one to notice it, nor am I the only one who doesn?t know what it is that is causing it or how to stem the tide. Finally, I am not the only one to be distressed and/ or confused by it either.

I generally do not understand things because I am aspergical, I do understand however that it sucks that I now feel that way when I come here to be among those with what I thought was similar difficulty.

I hope... things calm down, go back to regularly scheduled business and that some egos adapt to being one among many. We are all in the same boat and should be able to benefit from one another?s diverse range of experiences, it isn?t a competition or a rally, but anyway, I feel I have said too much and will now await the knock on the head from the banning wand for adding to the cause of the dissension in the ranks ; ]





PS; Rolo, the thread will possibly be moved to more appropriate ground for it or locked, if deemed inappropriate ; ]
Click to expand...

i wish you wouldnt leave the site, though. i like your posts. you're one of those witty aspies.
 
So... I read through the thread, after a short absence during the weekend... might elaborate on that sometime. But then again... what's 2 days...

Anyway... on-topic;

1. Not all aspies are the same. Someone in this thread pointed it out already. Some people are a bit harsher, less gullible, and might be a bit more difficult to deal with. That has nothing to do with being an aspie in general, it's a matter of personality. First lesson anyone, and specifically, in defense of the aspies vs. NT understanding, should learn is we're not the same. So quit stereotyping. I could draw a Rain man comparison here. Just because someone has traits that are commonly attributed to autism (and then even... Rain man is a bad example, since it's not autism in the first place), yet everyone thinks that autism comes with savant skills. It doesn't... just like reading a few less respectfull comments towards NT's isn't a blueprint for all aspies being a bunch of NT-hating people. However, having that perspective towards so called "non-NT" people, will make people biased.

2. Dialogue between Aspies and NT people might be a good idea, only if it's truthfull. I feel that there's a few members that signed up in the past and asked for advice and all. They weren't aspies themselves, but mothers, sisters, brothers or whatever relatives. If you're inviting everyone in, or even make it a forum where guests can post, I'm quite sure that at some point mods will have their hands full in stopping this from turning into 4chan (or something similar). That's what I've seen in the past on forums. Making it more easy accessible for everyone will provide worse content. Don't know how many people remember the fact that this site got "hacked" a few weeks ago, and according to the admin it was on purpose and targeted (at least, that's what I understood). So with that... we as aspies are quite weary not to bash NT's yet I see the same happen from the NT perspective towards people on the spectrum. I've even seen media poke "fun" with our condition in a context that wasn't humor in any other way.

Make out of it what you will, I don't feel this is aspie supremacy or NT bashing, this is also... calling a spade, a spade. I do however stand up for whatever community I'm part of. That's why I'm defensive about what I (and maybe others with me) stand for. And if that's already being supremacist...

3. Contrary to most people my social group is aspie exclusive. It has nothing to do with excluding NT people in any sense. But experience has taught me it doesn't work like that. I can befriend people, chances are that if the friendship sticks, at some point they're like... "you know... I have aspergers"... that's my aspie-radar I guess. So with that, there might be a bit of a "bias" in that I feel that NT people didn't do a lot for me, and aspies did a lot more for me. Heck, I'd even go as far in saying that the members on this board (and I'm not excluding anyone for whatever reason) did more for me than any NT person I ever had to deal with in my life. The only problem now is; now, I as well as them have a label. We always had, it's just visible now, and that's why it looks so much more obvious that I can't deal with a big deal of NT people. 10 years ago I'd get into enough problems to call a friendship quits and I'd just think "doesn't work out", nowadays people wave around their condition a bit more, which might reinforce the connection you have going on. I don't feel that keeping up friendships just for a label, but me, just as well as them expressed that "you're a good friend to have around". None showed me their diagnosis prior, but then comes the comfort and trustzone, where they tell you. And that's where it all comes together perfectly.

Let's pose another questions if we're talking about stereotypes... how many examples does one need to draw a stereotype? 1? 10? 100? 5%? 5% of what? the world population? Do you know all of them?

If we're going into the us vs. them argument here, then by all means level the playingfield. If we need to be more aware about bashing NT's (assuming this happens), let NT be aware that it should work 2 ways. I think it's BS to hold a minority responsible to "act" and "fit in"... it's give and take, and so far, all I've experienced is giving. I don't fall for the "that's the way it is"... if that's the case then I could misbehave all day and go along with "well, that's the way it is". I'm well aware that it doesn't work like that, but at some point I feel that just fitting in how much distress this gives you will be the fundamental basis for a major meltdown.

On an aspie note; I feel that many of us are really more aware of what we do and say about ourselves and others than the majority of NT people are accounted for. That's my personal experience and view. We can agree to disagree.

A final thing I want to state, which I feel is another interesting thought IMO; how can everyone be sure that everyone understands concepts of NT-bashing? I don't know if you can call someone out and call him ignorant for not understanding the subtle nuances of what makes a comment hurtful. That's faulty auto-assumption I think.

But it's just my 2 cents. And that's the thing that everyone who reads this, aspie or NT should understand. It's MY view on it, it's not the universal aspie view.
 
Well thought out and articulated King _oni- This is exactly the reason I posted this thread-we are all different-I dislike stereotypes as much as I do generalizations-my idea was that maybe there could be just one section on this site for an open forum-no bashing allowed. I do not think most people purposely mean to attack our neurotypical fellows but sometimes its rather like following a fast car on the motorway/freeway you were within the speed limit but got drawn in to the other cars slipstream and before you knew it you were flying-this happens when we get enthusiastic about a given subject. occasionally its a good idea to glance at the speedo and correct. Of course neurotypicals have attacked many of us on many levels but i personally do not wish to be a hypocrite and would like to believe that I am able to maintain exacting standards and can open up a dialogue/discourse without stone throwing, name calling ,stereotyping generalizing or indeed demonizing. I like to think that many of us share a profound sense of justice and will protect the underdog. I was unaware the site was hacked and understand the need for caution- I am just putting forward ideas in the hope I may learn something from it.
 
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King-Oni!

I'm glad you decided to show up & weigh in on this issue. That was an interesting well thought out post. A thoroughly good read.
 
I see a distinct problem with the Asperger "relationship" with social typical people. Aspies are very unlike STs in how our brains work; how the brain works is the foundation of how we experience life and interact with the environment, especially with people. By definition, we have our own culture, and it is so different that STs really cannot imagine our way of being. And we are such an extreme minority (1% ??) that they see us a "mistake" in human development that needs "fixed." Social Typicals belong to a social hierarchy based on inequality (social pyramid) and are driven to conform and to be accepted. Anyone who doesn't behave this way either needs to be converted or "removed." Asperger people do not fit this definition of being human.

Think of all the tribal people who have been exterminated by Colonial powers, either militarily or through cultural genocide. It may be why there are so few of us left.
 
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