Are people on the spectrum judgemental toward others?

[hithere]

I think being judgmental comes from a place within where we don't understand other people, for real, and we might ourselves have a bad day, not feeling good. I don't think it has anything to do with if you are autistic or not.

 

[Luca]

I'm glad things are getting better for you, Tony. It was a hard realization for me to come to as well, that not all people are mean and malicious. I hope things continue to improve for you and that you can make some friends.
It's good to see people on here making progress.

 

[olivespls]

I seem to be very judgemental especially towards couples and women. I often think couples are rubbing it in and girls that don't talk to me are stuck up snobs.

Yet this past two weeks I was wrong. First I got a package and a woman delivered it and came half way up the stairs to deliver it because I have trouble walking. I nearly tripped and she said are you okay and smiled when I said I was fine.

One of my female friends called me when I felt sad and in pain. She cheered me up.

Then last week at Church a attractive woman talked to me. I was surprised but she was friendly and we chatted for about 5 minutes. Now seeing her I would have thought she was a snob. I probably could have even talked to her friend and she would have been polite.

Then the other Tony I judge harsh when I told him about my backpain he said he was so sorry I was suffering and that he felt sad. He went through it too and felt sorry.

Then today on my way to the store I rested at the restaurant stoop. Most likely a attractive woman either an waitress or working there came up to me and asked if I was okay or wanted something. I said I was just resting.

Now these are just examples from the past two weeks.

I don’t think your judgement is due to your autism as much as it seems to be stemming from insecurity and angry feelings of something like resentment because of your insecurity or bad past with women/relationships.
I will say that because of my autism, I believe I am naturally more analytical which can come across as judgemental. I think that I also harbor some resentment toward easily sociable and/or “popular” people my age because i’ve been ridiculed for not being as personable for my neurodivergent traits, so in a very indirect way i guess there’s a connection there, but for more of a survival instinct than anything else. Kind of like my brain saying “you’ve interacted with them before and you know how it’s going to go based on trial and error so just stop trying”, which makes me frustrated.
This turned into a bit of a rant but that’s my two sense.

 

[nukefusion]

I can be judgemental. But I'm also very open-minded and forgiving. I go the extra length to try and understand somebody else's point of view, very possibly over-compensating because it doesn't come naturally. As a result, if anything I am probably too forgiving of others at times.

 

[MyLifeAsAnAspie]

I can relate to this type of thought dilemma and the way it is self-perpetuating. It is a good sign when you recognize it and take steps to break out of it. We have social communication problems, so does that give people a reason to treat us poorly? Yes and No. Yes, if someone is uncomfortable because they can't read us the way they THINK they can read others. No, if they see us as a target for abuse. People are actually much worse at reading others than they think they are and people who rely to much on judging people by superficial social communication are also targets for abuse. To overcome being misjudged you have to find ways to show by your actions what you can't show with social communication. I suppose that is the idea of attending church. If that is not working for you, work at find alternatives which show you are interested in meeting people and demonstrate your qualities.

 

[Storm Hess]

I'm extremely self-critical, more than to anyone else. Sometimes my expectations lead me to be judgemental toward others, but I make a conscious effort to realize...no one has any obligation to live up to my expectations...no matter how much I hate it. It's very difficult to fight that.