total-recoil
Well-Known Member
It seems as if lately any relationship I had with my family has pretty much broken down altogether. Of course, I thought about it as logically as I could and, to tell the truth, you could say I see it as almost inevitable. The root cause is actually to do with my lack of connection to my family as a whole and the way they perceive it I don't appear to care and seem withdrawn (or submerged in my own world).
All of this came to a head last week when they asked me to attend a funeral and, thus, I took the day off work and attended. However, at the funeral I was criticized for not having dressed as well as I might. There is also some negative feeling towads me as I'm not really involved and spend most of my time either studying science or with my Shepherd dog.
Now, I think I'm kind of tired of it all and have withdrawn more. In fact, I feel no connection to my family at all which I admit is kind of strange.
It worried me less than it should as I have come to see the cause of the existing situation is rooted in aspergers, going back to childhood. Maybe other people can relate to this? Given I was never really normal, I am aware there was some rejection in the past in favour of my siblings. I don't think my family ever knew anything about aspergers or the autistic spectrum and assumed I was uncaring or remote by nature. Probably they were never aware of how I was so often ignored and left out while my siblings were included and assumed a far more higher role. The Ugly Duckling was how aspergers writer Hans Christian Anderson put it.
It's not really possible at this stage to explain to them about aspergers as I guess they are now too old to understand what on earth it is.
However, the thing that shocks even me is when I see my family these days it appears they are now like total strangers to me. There is no connection at all. The only way the whole mess could be ever sorted out would be by family group psychology therapy but I think it's a bit late for that now. At the end of the day if you were never hugged, accepted or included in early years, it's no surprise you become a remote figure in adulthood.
Any thoughts?
All of this came to a head last week when they asked me to attend a funeral and, thus, I took the day off work and attended. However, at the funeral I was criticized for not having dressed as well as I might. There is also some negative feeling towads me as I'm not really involved and spend most of my time either studying science or with my Shepherd dog.
Now, I think I'm kind of tired of it all and have withdrawn more. In fact, I feel no connection to my family at all which I admit is kind of strange.
It worried me less than it should as I have come to see the cause of the existing situation is rooted in aspergers, going back to childhood. Maybe other people can relate to this? Given I was never really normal, I am aware there was some rejection in the past in favour of my siblings. I don't think my family ever knew anything about aspergers or the autistic spectrum and assumed I was uncaring or remote by nature. Probably they were never aware of how I was so often ignored and left out while my siblings were included and assumed a far more higher role. The Ugly Duckling was how aspergers writer Hans Christian Anderson put it.
It's not really possible at this stage to explain to them about aspergers as I guess they are now too old to understand what on earth it is.
However, the thing that shocks even me is when I see my family these days it appears they are now like total strangers to me. There is no connection at all. The only way the whole mess could be ever sorted out would be by family group psychology therapy but I think it's a bit late for that now. At the end of the day if you were never hugged, accepted or included in early years, it's no surprise you become a remote figure in adulthood.
Any thoughts?
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