Are you too open or too closed?

[millie33]

I tend to be very closed. After I've known someone a while, it's a bit easier, but still have difficulty even with my counselor. My motto is when in doubt leave it out lol

 

[AsIstAga]

It’s my nature to be a closed person and it’s not difficult to understand why. Every day at school I’m exposed to kids who publicly reveal every aspect of their lives. It's impossible not to be aware of this drama because the kids make sure everybody in class hears it. They talk about who is a slut, the booze and stuff they've had, who has the best weed. They are always in need, always in crisis, and delight in sucking the life right out of other kids by exposing secrets. And then they brag about having hundreds of friends online and IRL. It’s irrational that anybody would open up and become vulnerable to the lying, backstabbing and manipulation. Their behavior only serves as reinforcement of my closed nature.

Never heard it said so well that I can totally recall the same thoughts...but would rarely try to share them, even to my parents, because I didn't want the argument or embarrassment it could cause!

 

[tree]

I couldn't get the idea of the question "Are you too open or too closed?"
so I read some stuff....This doesn't seem to be the same 'open/closed'
that people are talking about here, though.
https://christopherjack101.wordpress.com/2015/06/30/are-you-open-or-closed/

In this thread, it seems 'open/closed' refers to the tendency to share information
with other people. Factual or affective information.

 

[watersprite]

I couldn't get the idea of the question "Are you too open or too closed?"
so I read some stuff....This doesn't seem to be the same 'open/closed'
that people are talking about here, though.
https://christopherjack101.wordpress.com/2015/06/30/are-you-open-or-closed/

In this thread, it seems 'open/closed' refers to the tendency to share information
with other people. Factual or affective information.

I have spent, wisely or not, a chunk of time chasing this idea around a tiny segment of the internet.

Is openness then intelligence? What if someone has openness but a lack of short term memory.

Openness is not equal to an outgoing personality. Nor to being socially adept.

What do you think, tree? Don't most people have an openess-spectrum, a sort of tide that rises and retreats; or is that an illusion.

 

[Carnelian]

I start out closed but usually will become very open after I get to know a person.

For example, I just met my neighbors down the road and my family has been hanging out with them. The first few days I was very closed and preferred to stay inside while they were outside with the family, only speaking in one word answers or pointing, and that was it. I wanted to talk, I just couldn't.

A week or so later, we're all out to dinner and seeing Mission Impossible and I had a blast and was super open. Like, boundary-defying to the point where I embarrassed my mom talking about orgasmic childbirth and other medical tidbits. (I love medical stuff).

But it helped that the neighbors (which included a 14 year old girl and her very-good-looking-young-looking father) were super nice and friendly and open so I had an easier time opening up in return.

If I'm around people who are naturally closed or "resting ***** faced" or whatever, I tend to be more closed off than if a person is laughing and smiling. It's just because I can read the latter better.

 

[Harry1965]

I'm way too open ... I've had many many people ask me why I said something they considered too much information. Ahh ... I've given up. I'm just keeping stuff to me and the Internet now. Nice and personal [emoji12]

 

[Geoo98]

I'm too open. I'm often somewhat cold to people, like if I don't click with them then I'm not interested and won't bother with them (I'm like this with a lot of 'friends' which I feel bad about but it's better than being on my own). As soon as I'm actually interested in someone intend to tell them lots about my life because I feel like my past explains my present behaviour, and seeing as I can seem to be irrational sometimes I try to give them as much context for my personality as possible. I always realise after by their reactions that I shouldn't have, then I try to explain why I over share and it's a horrible cycle

 

[Progster]

I'm too closed. I don't talk about my feelings, talk about myself or open up to others. I talk quite a bit about myself on this forum and may appear to be more extrovert than I really am. I think I come across as an aloof, private person in real life.

 

[Jacoby]

Way too closed, I've completely isolated myself

I hate it but I don't even know to do at this point

 

[BIMOG]

I tend not to offer information but I'm generally pretty open when asked direct questions, although I'm trying to be a little more selective in precisely what questions I choose to answer nowadays. As a young kid I was often told off for saying "inappropriate" things, because I lacked any sense of restraint about what was acceptable to talk about and what wasn't.

 

[Mr Allen]

Definitely too open, I tell everybody everything, I need to keep more stuff secret.