Are you understood?

[Shevek]

How many people do you think understand you? How about your work? Maybe just one special interest, but no other areas, or other limited understanding. If anyone "gets you," are they relatives, friends, teachers, co-workers or? Do you get to brainstorm on your interests with others?
I'll start - All zeros.

 

[the_tortoise]

In offline life only, discounting here?

Probably nobody.

 

[Shevek]

In offline life only, discounting here?

Probably nobody.

Online or off.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I was told by a coworker, If they actually understood what you were talking about, what you can see they would realize they have a near genius on their hands. Why I wanted a supervisory position to implement my ideas.

 

[Grondhammar]

I've met several people over the years who I connect with easier than others, but only one in my lifetime I feel "gets" me. It's a pretty low percentage.

 

[the_tortoise]

Online or off.

Ok, in that case, I would say sometimes I am well understood here. Not about everything, but enough that this is the only place I feel safe or like there is any point in trying to explain or share anything about myself.

It is hard to think about it in terms
of categories...I can't seem
to do that at all or I get overloadrd and it all falls apart...

I would say I have felt at least partly understood by a lot of people here, thinking of people off the top of my head atm won't count all of them but I got to 15 before I started losing track.

In my offline life, actually I had a brain glitch - 1 or maybe 2 people understand me at least partly. I hardly speak to one of them bc of circumstance and the other is confusing and may not understand me at all.

In the past I would have said at least 8 for offline life for partial understanding; At one of the rare happy and supported times of my life (which btw lasted only about 3 years and actually now I think about it was the only happy and supported time out of almost 40 years).

More than 15 if you count my entire offline life and not just "at any given time all simultaneously".

More than 19 if you count cats.

2 of the people who understood me most in this world died many years ago (7 if you count cats).

Everyone else sort of drifted away/we lost touch as life circumstances changed.

I don't think I will ever be understood by nor understand anyone else completely...it's hard for me to imagine that being possible for anyone.

 

[Jumpinbare]

Probably not, but I don't get most other people, so I guess it's fair.

 

[Aspychata]

I like this post. Sometimes being ND means nobody gets you, and you need to be comfortable with that.

 

[Judge]

I like this post. Sometimes being ND means nobody gets you, and you need to be comfortable with that.

Agreed, though it hurts sometimes when it's those closest to you who just don't get us. I haven't spoken to my brother or cousin in the last six months. Don't expect them to call either...which is probably best for all of us at this point.

 

[Shevek]

Hmm. Now that I think of it, I do feel one brief, isolated point of connection when I get a laugh.

 

[the_tortoise]

Agreed, though it hurts sometimes when it's those closest to you who just don't get us. I haven't spoken to my brother or cousin in the last six months. Don't expect them to call either...which is probably best for all of us at this point.

Wish we could do multiple reactions. Can't so here is the second :

 

[Aspychata]

Yup, l don't have that connection with my ND brother.

 

[Tuffsy]

How many people do you think understand you? How about your work? Maybe just one special interest, but no other areas, or other limited understanding. If anyone "gets you," are they relatives, friends, teachers, co-workers or? Do you get to brainstorm on your interests with others?
I'll start - All zeros.

I agree with zeros in my past professional life and current social life, but since I've been writing songs about my life experiences people do seem to get me. I truly believe that music can reach people where nothing else can.

 

[717]

How many people do you think understand you? How about your work? Maybe just one special interest, but no other areas, or other limited understanding. If anyone "gets you," are they relatives, friends, teachers, co-workers or? Do you get to brainstorm on your interests with others?
I'll start - All zeros.

Based on the fact that I am pretty much masking all the time... I would be surprised if anyone gets to understand me, I mean... the real me...

 

[SusanLR]

Nobody at the present. But, I have very few interactions with anyone now.
The person I live with sure doesn't understand me. He tries to make me think I am an idiot all the time. I know I am not.

There were a few years in my life when I was a student at a private college that I felt the majority of the others there understood me. We were all studying the same special interest, so they were mostly into what I had to say and share. Yeah, we could brainstorm.
Still there were some I just didn't get along with.
I think that is the way life in general is. There will always be those you just don't jive with whether you're ND or NT.

 

[Tired]

Only my boyfriend gets me, and even he doesn't do it fully.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Nobody in my inner circle (personally or professionally) can comprehend what goes on in my head... especially my wife of nearly 40 years. Constantly reminded of it...several times a day. The connections I make, the depth of knowledge, the passion for certain topics, the general lack of understanding and planning for the future, design and engineering, how things work, my insatiable hunger for knowledge, my spirituality, etc... I am on an intellectual island 99% of the time.

Conversely, I do not understand the people around me either.

I am a visiting alien, disguised as a human, trying to pass myself off as one of them, but not quite able in many cases.

 

[Outdated]

Once only.

I'm someone who changed jobs often and could never settle anywhere, then I got a job working for a man that was different. He wanted to understand me and wasn't afraid to ask questions, he also accepted my answers at face value. Through 2 different companies I worked for the same man for 7 years until I burnt out. Longest job I ever had.

He wasn't just my boss, in the end we became good mates. After my burn out he was slowly coaxing me back and he might have succeeded too, then he burst an anneurism and died, 44 years old.

After working for him I was never able to accept anything less than full acceptance from other people, it's nice to be treated fairly like an equal.

 

[vergil96]

I don't think I have problems with being understood any more than average.

 

[UFO]

During my entire 48 years long life I have had only a couple of such persons I have felt connected to. Most people, even ones I have considered as my best friends, I have felt to be a little bit out of sync with me.

People often seem to have hard time to get my point and are trying to predict what I am saying, thus getting distracted to a wrong path of though, and I have to put some effort to express myself in other words so we could return to the main issue (I wish they wouldn't assume that I am talking about pets generally when I am actually talking about dogs, for example). I don't think I am that slow and meandering talker, that they just get impatient because of that, but it appears to be so (or perhaps I am too fast and meandering talker instead).

What I said above, applies to face-to-face conversations. At online forums I haven't noticed any unusual amount of problems, as I have time to polish my message and to think arguments of, and for, both sides thoroughly (it easily takes an hour to write a message like this).

Generally I haven't spoken with NDs here, or elsewhere, so much that I could tell if I get understood among them any better. But I think if you occasionally don't get what I am saying, most likely explanation would be a language barrier. A funny thing is, that I haven't noticed too much difference between discussions here and assumed NT-populated forums

Edit: Jokes and complex matters, when both require some logical reasoning, seem to be causing most issues. The way how I reason things don't match with the way how others like to reason things. Same result but different path with different emphasis on details. I often hear them to say "you are thinking it in too complicated way" and I have to answer "I am thinking same thing about you". When I returned to the university few years ago, this became obvious as their teaching methods were something that really didn't work with me: I ended up just reading a lot of books and appearing to exams. Lectures, lecture slides, and asking clarifications from teachers, were just confusing and even harmful to my learning, so I quickly learned to avoid them.