ASD and empathy

[Sarah S]

Does anyone else with ASD feel they have high empathy? I feel like I do.

The only issue is I don't express my thoughts or feelings well and I could come across to others as cold. So I think people around me don't know I have so much empathy.

Despite the levels on my ASD etc.... I have a HUGE level of empathy so yes on that one

Im WELL known for my empathy both online as well as reel life . And have NO problems in showing my emotions or understanding other peoples feelings or emotions (its actually a known so called " gift " of many of us wimen on the spectrum.)

 

[Aspychata]

Despite the levels on my ASD etc.... I have a HUGE level of empathy so yes on that one

Im WELL known for my empathy both online as well as reel life . And have NO problems in showing my emotions or understanding other peoples feelings or emotions (its actually a known so called " gift " of many of us wimen on the spectrum.

This is so true about you. l always enjoy reading your posts- Ms Sarah S.

 

[Sarah S]

This is so true about you. l always enjoy reading your posts- Ms Sarah S.

Aw shucks (red bluching face ) Thank you kindly Ms Aspychata i cant help it its how i am i cant just ignore if others feel bad i have to help and yes from my " gift " im actually able to feel when someone is feeling down and more so also actually help them i feel its my dutey to use my " gift " to help others. (smiling shyly )

 

[Primrose]

Despite the levels on my ASD etc.... I have a HUGE level of empathy so yes on that one

Im WELL known for my empathy both online as well as reel life . And have NO problems in showing my emotions or understanding other peoples feelings or emotions (its actually a known so called " gift " of many of us wimen on the spectrum.)

Hi Sarah

It's great you have no problem showing your empathy.

It's only in some situations I have these problems - I think its mostly when I feel stressed or overwhelmed that I don't express myself well. There are people in my life who tell me I'm an empath too. In some situations I can express myself well.

 

[Gift2humanity]

I'd never heard of Alexithymia either. They seem to have a label for everything these days. It's not even a word I find easy to pronounce. What I often experience which may very well be defined as Alexithymia. But it's just what I experience.

I've never mentioned it to any of the medical people; another symptom, and as I am currently en-route to a diagnosis, it's just a question of when I get the opportunity, now having been referred to be properly assessed. It doesn't change the fact that I experience what I experience. I don't need a label or a piece of paper or somebody's understanding to accept this is what I experience. And I'm not expecting any benefit from actually being correctly diagnosed. So in many ways there is no real purpose other than recognition. Do I need Alexithymia included? Well if I remember to mention it when that actual assessment comes.

It does feel nice to know somebody else experiences similar things, perhaps even in the same way, which in many ways is a strange thing for me to actually discover. Because it has always seemed to me to be an assumption, even if somebody is standing next to you when watching what is happening and says they understand exactly; they agree with everything, on some level that may not actually be true; that we just make the assumption that it is and there's never anything to indicate otherwise. But that doesn't mean it actually was true.

Just like if two people read a poem; both might say it was beautiful and expressed this or that, it's likely that they didn't experience the same feeling at all.

But having spent time on this forum ', I now realise that there are people who experience similar if not the same as me, that it actually starts to make me think that a diagnosis could still make a difference even if in day-to-day living it doesn't.

It seems it is really a postcode lottery as to what support you get, if any, in the UK, after diagnosis.
Once I got my diagnosis I was referred to a service users network, I saw my support worker from that network for the first time today.
I will be having a zoom meeting with her next week.
I hope you can get some post-diagnosis support, however, if not, I hope you continue to benefit from using this forum.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Confession: I briefly worked as a "medium" for people because my emotional empathy is so sensitive. But it's not cognitive at all. I don't know why people feel the way they do. I don't even know where their emotions end and mine begin half the time (and particularly when "reading" people's "energy"). I just have a knack for describing an emotional situation as an image. People would say, "Yes, that's exactly how I feel!"

I quit that line of work for several reasons, a few being that (1) I never felt "magical" and my clients wanted me to—thereby disempowering themselves and inappropriately hyper-powering me, (2) I don't find the field to be ethical (I don't know any mediums who are trained as therapists, but they ought to be, since people are coming to them with real issues that need real treatment). And (3), I was so overloaded with "other people's vibes" that I could barely function. It became difficult to not space out all the time. I'd forget to eat, lose track of time, and so on.

For a while I thought I must be psychic. Interestingly, when I went into treatment for trauma, my sensitivity lessened. I don't know what sensitivities will come up when I do become a practicing therapist, but at least I'll have training in ethical and effective practices.

It sounds like you have synaesthesia.
It’s where the senses cross. We see music, we hear visual stimuli, in my personal experience I used to assign patterns to people depending on their personality.
For instance around my dad I would “see“ little explosive sparks around him in my imagination, as his personality was explosive.

 

[Sarah S]

Hi Sarah

It's great you have no problem showing your empathy.

It's only in some situations I have these problems - I think its mostly when I feel stressed or overwhelmed that I don't express myself well. There are people in my life who tell me I'm an empath too. In some situations I can express myself well.

Hello there (smiling )

Thank you its one of the VERY few " gifts " my gazilion diagnosis have granted me

As i said to so many of us with this and or other NP Diagnoses We NEED to let those around us know that we have this and as shush we might act or behave or indeed show our feelings in other ways then the normal people.

I have been upfront on ALL my diagnosis to all around me from day one and as shush they have been able to better understand me and not missunderstand or missinterpent my very often weird and strange /difrent way of thinking or function . But belive me back in my days i was treated and regarded as a retard by most as was most of us from those days , & i had to learn to live with my diagnosis and adapt to them as best i can with what i got to work with.

& last the day i start feeling ashamed or feel i have to hide my diagnosis is the day it rains snowballs on the moon = NEVER happen. STAND up for who YOU are my friend. If others have problems with you then thats their problems not ours. Im shore you are way more able then me to express youre self and youre empathy etc.... its just you need to learn how to find this inside youre self my friend (smiling warmly )

 

[Primrose]

Hello there (smiling )

Thank you its one of the VERY few " gifts " my gazilion diagnosis have granted me

As i said to so many of us with this and or other NP (i belive swedish is NPF. Dom ändrar ju det här hela tiden så man blir ju helt snurrig ) Diagnoses We NEED to let those around us know that we have this and as shuch we might act or behave or indeed show our feelings in other ways then the normal people.

I have been upfront on ALL my diagnosis to all around me from day one and as shush they have been able to better understand me and not missunderstand or missinterpent my very often weird and strange /difrent way of thinking or function . But belive me back in my days i was treated and regarded as retard by most as was most of us from those days , & i had to learn to live with my diagnosis and adapt to them as best i can with what i got to work with.

& last the day i start feeling ashamed or feel i have to hide my diagnosis is the day it rains snowballs on the moon = NEVER happen. STAND up for who YOU are my friend. If others have problems with you then thats their problems not ours. Im shore you are way more able then me to express youre self and youre empathy etc.... its just you need to learn how to find this inside youre self my young friend (smiling warmly )

Good advice. Thank you!

 

[Sarah S]

Reg the swedish and young im afraid i managed to mix you up with an actual Swede just joined here as well and she is younger so yeah my bad (bluching face ) removed the swedish and young (wink)

But besides that little hiccup youre very welkome (smiling )

 

[Major Tom]

Watch as I levitate this book off the table... Did you see it? Me either.. sympathy and body language yes, empathy no. In my opinion. I'm a great poker player, but not because I read minds or have empathy, I know the odds and also how to watch people's body language.

 

[Sheree]

Does anyone else with ASD feel they have high empathy? I feel like I do.

The only issue is I don't express my thoughts or feelings well and I could come across to others as cold. So I think people around me don't know I have so much empathy.

I am not diagnosed, I just self diagnose. I can’t get social cues regarding another’s feelings sometimes and it has gotten to bad my dad has choked me because he thought I was insulting his mom. I just don’t get connecting to people I never met...is anyone here like me?

 

[Sheree]

@Primrose ,
Have you looked into the areas of alexithymia and "Theory of Mind". Both of these might give you some more info related to this post.

Alexithymia has to do with being able to recognise and name emotions.
Theory of mind has to do with understanding how things are perceived by others.

(these are poor descriptions - but hopefully enough to give you a clue)

BTW the search function here is not bad in the Forum, and might give you some useful posts.

I think I have alexithymia.

 

[Alexej]

Hi @Sheree and welcome to the Forums.

Do hang around a while and get to know us. There are lots of interesting folk in here

 

[Aspychata]

I think I have alexithymia.

Hey welcome. It's okay, you just have to try harder at masking. You have to work harder at understanding yourself.

 

[VictorR]

Is empathy a loop? Sometimes I feel like I'm so deep into something that I end up saying nothing because there's too much to say and I don't know where to start.

 

[Sheree]

Hi @Sheree and welcome to the Forums.

Do hang around a while and get to know us. There are lots of interesting folk in here

Thank you. I am dealing with not understanding why others get mad at me because of what I suspect is this stuff. My dad even mildly choked me. He thought I disrespected his mom but I just didn’t understand... I need to figure out if I am autistic.

 

[Sheree]

Hey welcome. It's okay, you just have to try harder at masking. You have to work harder at understanding yourself.

I never knew I was so out of touch with my self and others for a long time. Yes I do need to understand myself and others too

 

[Aspychata]

I never knew I was so out of touch with my self and others for a long time. Yes I do need to understand myself and others too

l have noticed l can't tell why l feel intense until the next day after l look closer at what happened and then how did l react to it.

 

[Sheree]

Family in particular my non understanding dad has told me I don’t make sense when to me I do. My mom has also told me I act the wrong way. For example I hate kids being in the house when adults have loud sex but apparently that is normal and I am weird lol. I also have unintentionally offended my dad once... that one bothers me I still don’t understand why he was so mad that I couldn’t feel what he felt. I seem to be a psychopath to him but he says he still loves me (shrug).

 

[Sarah S]

Sheree first welkome (smiling )

Second have you tried to explain all you have bin telling us in here to youre parents

And last my own father havent been able to understand me for most of my life (MOST likely he is ASD1 But undiagnosed and its my own suspicion on this based on the knowledge i gained in this matter) SO it may be that the reason youre father dont understand you might be he`s on the spectrum. (as far as i understood this in many cases of us being on the spectrum comes from our family (ie mom and or dad )

I would also say that dont get stuck on might be ASD there are many other possible diagnosis that you may also have so it would be a idea to IF you have the posibility get a evaluation to find out .

Before that there is alot of good online tests you can take (many of them are in my Signature ) that would give you a hint whether you actually might be on the spectrum or not . Mind you this are NOT meant as as confirmation and should NOT be takend as one . BUT it can give you an indication whether you actually might be on the spectrum.