I think it has been established that there are many ways of humans acting in such a manner to avoid controversy. To deliberately appear to be diplomatic. A relatively generic concept. But it's the intent of why and whether or not some can or cannot mask themselves is what separates them. Compounded by circumstances in real-time. Where some of us cannot grasp what was said and happened until a later point in time. When often it may be too late to resolve.
In general, many but not all people have some kind of common notion that "to get along, you go along". But they are different reasons and motivations for doing it. Many having to do with existing in some kind of hierarchy, such as an employee-employer relationship. Or something even more regimented such as a military style chain of command. Dirt common reasons for going along to get along. But for many of them, whey they exit that environment they can be themselves as a matter of personal choice without so many repercussions.
For a number of us on the spectrum, escaping this scenario on a routine basis can be more difficult. And most of all, not all of us are capable of such social charades in whole or in part, coming down to the severity of our traits and behaviors. Where some of us can be aware of them in real time and control them to varying degrees, where others are literally at the mercy of themselves. Resulting in combinations of both considerations.
Masking to me in the most basic terms is to appear to be both attentive and agreeable with someone in real time. Even if you vehemently disagree with them, or know conditionally that they are fundamentally wrong. And apart from what is said, to simply provide the appearance of the will to participate in a group situation. Something which may or may not seem alien to those of us on the spectrum.
But it's not the how that counts. It's why. For us it's a bit more complicated. A means to mask our autistic traits and behaviors to not stand out in a crowd of NTs. To avoid humiliation and persecution that many of us have encountered far too often on a level NTs do not comparably encounter in frequency or severity. You could argue that NTs often have similar- even same motivations for doing the same thing. However when they leave the conference room, the danger is more likely over for them as a mere employee. Even moreso when they leave their place of work. And they are far more likely to correctly interpret social cues and common customs and conventions that simply may go over our heads.
Conversely for those of us on the spectrum, the danger is never gone in the same work environment where we too leave the conference room. That for us, every potential social interaction in real-time can potentially be a nightmare with consequences. And even when we leave that same place of employment. Where a complete stranger to a vendor we know can potentially rattle us for some reason. Worst of all for some, those who must continue the charade to some of their own loved ones. Where family life can have consequences of a very different nature compared to the contractual obligations of work.
The irony being that those same NTs who claim they encounter and must navigate the same social dynamics are the ones who place us in the category of a "disorder" with tiered classifications relative to the severity of their condition. But do they do the same for the 98% neurological majority? -Not at all. For themselves they offer more simplistic, superficial explanations that don't pigeonhole them into some negative connotation.
It isn't whether or not everyone masks. People do it for different reasons. But what counts for us is that we must do it because the "societal playing field" is not a level playing field. Where the social/neurological majority exist in overwhelming numbers, making our thought processes and socialization concerns stand out on a much broader scope. Forcing many more of us to mask our traits and behaviors simply for who- and what we are. Not who we simply work for or individually may pander to.
And then to consider those in our group who simply cannot do it in whole or in part based on individual neurological considerations. With particular note to distinctions like ASD2 and ASD3 or those with comorbid executive functioning deficits. Where socialization skills may be varied, sporadic or minimal to non-existent in the eyes of a neurological majority. Leaving us labeled a "disorder" while they have no such comparable term to describe any of their neurological or social shortcomings. So again why is this, if the neurological majority is so inclined to act in an alike manner?
Again, it's not about attempting to marginalize masking claiming everyone does it. Not everyone can. It's about us masking because we have been placed in a neurological lower tier as a "disorder". Conjuring up the same rationale that you'll see here over and over advising you to proclaim your autism strictly on a "need-to-know" basis only. These are dynamics that even the most socially inept NTs do not have to contend with.
Apologies for this wall of text, however this is not a simple issue. But then I've never found much of anything connected with autism to be simple at all. From the standpoint of society we are in a very different place and not by choice. Let's not kid ourselves about it by marginalizing such issues. Nuff said.
Last edited:
