Asperger's and childish behavior

[Jimbo]

Peppa Pig rocks!

Me and my 9 year old daughter watch this show and laugh hard!

 

[CJinherPJs]

When I was 16, I was still watching children's programmes and cartoons, and playing with toys, and I still do at nearly 21. I also still play Mario games, which were among my favourites as a child, and I've seen Mario bed sheets in Wilkinson's which I'd really like to buy. I also have a lot of stuffed animals, which I could never part with. I study and have a part-time job and a car, so I guess I'd be considered an adult in that respect, but if I want to play Mario to unwind instead of going out partying, that's my choice. Personally I don't see a problem with having childlike interests, as long as you're not hurting anybody.

 

[Effy]

I am very new to this whole thing and we are just starting to understand, but I have wondered about this for a while, I have a 16 year old daughter with Asperger's and she does not throw temper tantrums, but she still watches children's cartoons like Little Bear, Caillou etc. and plays with some toys still. Is that normal? Of course, she can act adult too, like she will sometimes watch shows like Degrassi and is starting to take an interest in learning how to drive, but she only does the more childlike activities in private. In public, she mostly acts like just like her peers around her, so she just does small things like that behind closed doors. I believe she does it as a comfort thing. Does that sound about right?

Thank you.

"Is that normal?"
...
-----

For the record, I still enjoy watching children's shows, as do many of my neurotypical friends. Do you still enjoy Tom & Jerry, or a show from your childhood?

It's called nostalgia.

 

[SyAn]

What is your gut-reaction to the words childish and child-like?

I find childish to have a negative connotation, whereas child-like seems positive to me. I know it's just words, but words can convey so much meaning.

So how about calling the behaviour child-like rather than childish?

 

[Cyllya]

There's a tendency for a lot of teenagers and especially pre-teens to want to shun "childish" things because of peer pressure to be cool and grown up. It's not that kid stuff has become boring; it's that they have to openly hate it in order to fit in. I feel like a lot of aspies just plain don't understand that mindset (until years later) and thus don't see any appeal in conforming that way.

 

[Lukas]

The adult world leaves little room for imagination. Play is simply indicative of an active imagination. Nothing wrong with that at any age in my humble opinion..

I am 50 and still enjoy watching films and television shows that may be thought of as being for children... i.e. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Mary Poppins, The Never-Ending Story, etc. And, I still have my little stuffed horse on my desk... Additionally, I sometimes enjoy reading children's books as well as writing them. I just re-read 'Frederick' the other day..

 

[Rudy Schmidt]

It's nice to see how extremely common this behaviour is. I revel in things that remind me of my childhood. Mega Drive (Genesis) video games, 90s cartoons, sweets that remind me of that period, even the smell of a ton of cardboard boxes in an old department store (towards the back, where they do the unpacking). I retain many hobbies and a fondness for childish things.

On the other side of the question, yes, I still act childish too. Not in public - in public I'm ordinary enough (I think). I swing between being a goof-off and being sort of sullen depending on how social I feel. But in private, I still complain about how people always want to discuss "boring things" (usually things I refer to as "grown-up stuff"), always complain and rebel about social norms (why would you wear a tie to a family photo? Do you wear a tie every day? Shouldn't people see a picture of you as you really are?). I still have some childish tantrums from time to time as well - not violent and loud, just very whining and complaining. If things don't go my way, I get upset, whether it's reasonable or not. I just don't always show that side of me.

 

[Mephisto]

we are all kids inside. I still collect stuffed animals and even toy dinosaurs. I* watch adult shows like SUPERNATURAL!!!! Kid shows like Adventure Time, Ben 10, etc It's perfectly normal imho.

 

[garnetflower13]

I have a doll with a ceramic head, arms and legs which I used to sew clothing for well into my thirties. I collect children's books that I loved to read when I was a child and still do. I still like Bugs Bunny cartoons, and also have a collection of children's movies (mostly Disney) that I still enjoy very much. There are parts of me that refuses to grow up and frankly, these are my best parts! Nothing wrong with your daughter liking those things. She is after all only sixteen, and has a ways to go before being fully adult.

 

[etbe]

When I was in high school in the 80's it was fairly common for teenage girls to have teddy bears, sometimes they took bears to school. They had to do it as a cute feminine think not as a scared little kit thing (just a social agreement as to how we were to interpret it).

Among the geek communities (which includes a large portion of the Aspie population due to special interests) playing with toys etc is widely accepted. Lots of people who are obviously NT have significant collections of toys. It's not an issue of whether toys are inherently childish but the social agreement as to how they are to be interpreted.

The TV show "The Big Bang Theory" makes lots of jokes about such things, note that the creators of that show claim to like geeks but really they don't like geeks much more than they like women (BBT is created by the same guy as "Two and a Half Men"). While they have contempt for us the show is realistic in some ways and shows how geeks accept certain things that non-geeks regard as "childish". Note that I don't recommend that Aspie women watch that show, the combination of anti-Aspie stuff and misogyny is too much.

As for Orson Card, anyone who's that homophobic just can't understand the human condition. I read one of his stories and the way he portrays people just isn't believable. Ursula le Guinn and Andre Norton are two sci-fi authors who seem to get people.

 

[AsheSkyler]

As my grandfather says, "Growing old is mandatory. Growing UP is optional!" Some of my family buy the Looney Toon volumes to watch and reminisce on favorite cartoons, or any number of Disney or Pixar movies for their own enjoyment. My husband digs through all sorts of cool cartoons and Disney channel shows (although I could do without Disney channel myself). One of my old geek groups routinely consumed anything involving Marvel, DC, Pokemon, and any form of Lord of the Rings and Star Wars. One crochet group I'm loosely associated with has a lot of women who make dolls and toys or clothes for dolls and toys because that's their child-like passion.

I kinda gotta give your daughter kudos for watching Caillou at her age, most teenagers suppress all their child-like desires until they're an adult and are comfortable to indulge again. (I must admit I'm taking advantage of having a two-year-old, I sing the Caillou theme song to him when it comes on.)

 

[icesyckel]

People on the spectrum tend to have less of an instinct for social norms, which includes and ability to separate or distinguish "childish" entertainment from other forms of entertainment because, ultimately, what is "childish" is just another thing decided by "society," which just means the majority, which is not us.

I like some things created for children. I like some things for adults. I like what I like. It's not age-dependent for me.

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

I am very new to this whole thing and we are just starting to understand, but I have wondered about this for a while, I have a 16 year old daughter with Asperger's and she does not throw temper tantrums, but she still watches children's cartoons like Little Bear, Caillou etc. and plays with some toys still. Is that normal? Of course, she can act adult too, like she will sometimes watch shows like Degrassi and is starting to take an interest in learning how to drive, but she only does the more childlike activities in private. In public, she mostly acts like just like her peers around her, so she just does small things like that behind closed doors. I believe she does it as a comfort thing. Does that sound about right?

Thank you.

By the time I got to page 2 in the thread, I was laughing out loud--not at anybody, but at just how well I think the original question got answered. The responses read as joyful enthusiasm to me, and I was remembering a few favorites of my own.

Emotional immaturity is a feature in aspie experience. We're "brittle" or "a bit fragile." It's what happens when structure and clarity collide with reality and social situations. Cartoons are consistently clean and clear about right and wrong in a way that adult life often isn't.

Maybe the only thing you might--I stress might--want to look at is how she recovers from the intense dark emotions. How resilient is she emotionally? Resilience can come slow to aspies. At 16, that's still in flux for your daughter. Does she take responsibility for things that are not her responsibility? What makes her intensely angry, and how long does it take her to release the anger? Everyone has the personal development thing, but we aspies can take a bit longer at it than average.

I loved that you said "childlike" and not "childish." It is childlike, and that's a precious thing. Hope this helped.

 

[Ylva]

Every time an email with this title dumps into my inbox, I think something along the lines of, "well, if you'd been infantilised on a regular basis, you wouldn't have extremely mature responses either".

I get that this particular thread is about teenagers watching cartoons made for eight-year-olds, but the subject in general warrants it. "If you want to be treated like an adult, behave like one," just doesn't cut it. You can't demand that someone match your mental picture of "adult" before you treat them with respect and like they are a person. Unless you want to alienate them, then it sounds like a good strategy.

 

[etbe]

I wonder how many NT teenagers watch such cartoons but are better at concealing the fact.

 

[Tia Maria]

I am an >40 NT adult woman & I love playing dolls, lego's, coloring books, watching kids' movies & tons of other children's games with my youngest niece. I love spending the time with her but I also truly enjoy the chance to do those things again, like dress dolls & color! My husband loves any opportunity to play Wii or any video game against the family kids of all ages. One of our teen nieces, a very mature & well balanced NT girl, still played with her Playmobil dollhouse people until about age 14 or 15. It must have been a comfort thing besides true enjoyment. She would do it for around 30 minutes when she first got home from school, to wind down, on her parents' bed. She liked to be left alone & was slightly embarrassed so it was never mentioned or a big deal made over it. We'd pretended not to notice. Her Mom would always make sure the bed was made & the little dolls were out so she could quietly slip away & play uninterrupted for a while. It was very sweet.

NT kids commonly start putting toys away because of what their peers might find to be age appropriate. Not because they necessarily want to themselves but they feel compelled & don't want visitors to see "child stuff" around ... maybe to avoid teasing.

When I reached HS I personally packed up my beloved Nancy Drew books & my entire tiny animal collection which I carefully put together & played with over many years. I told my parents I had outgrown them. I think I assumed they'd store them away for me, but they gave them away! To THIS VERY DAY I remember & regret that I had not saved them!

Not the end of the world, & of course I will live! But just saying, there is no harm in YOU hanging onto your favorite treasured toys after you "outgrow" them.

The most creative adults retain their childlike nature.

Kids grow up way too fast today. Embrace your inner child & feel free to enjoy whatever things interest & please YOU.

 

[ThatSkyWing]

I'm 20 and I still like buying nice, cuddly plushies and toys(I don't play with them but I like them), and I can often be found watching cartoons. ^.^

 

[Tom]

As a kid I always loved toy soldiers. I liked the full color ones that they made in England and spent every dime on those. I remember my Mom telling me I should buy something else for a change, like a football. I told her everyone has one of those, but that these would be collected and valuable one day. Anyway, I made that collecting into a small side business eventually, that I continue to this day. Although I lost the ability to play in my teens, I mainly most enjoyed just setting them up once in a while in the various formations (neat rows and such... sounds aspie now). With an interest in history, its a very visually pleasing thing to me. It was also nice my Mom got to see it decades later. I could show her a Britains 'Swoppet' Knight I paid $1.00 for now going for $100.00. Now if only all of them had that kind of value increase....

Anyway, I remember picking things up at flea markets and such when I first joined the military and would hide my finds in my locker and mail them home eventually. At that time I hid the hobby from my peers, and it was probably for the best. But later I met many other hobbiests of all kinds of toys and I didn't hide it totally. I think toy collecting (ie action figures and such) has become more widespread and accepted over time. So I wouldn't worry about it too much. If it is one of those things you truly get simple pleasure off of, don't deny yourself that.

 

[Stik]

I love Olaf from the movie Frozen and my coworkers think I like him a little too much for being an adult.

 

[musclecarman]

it depends I'm in that stage where I'm in between childhood and adulthood I do act quite mature for my age but then I still do some childish things were all different there's no such things as a perfect society (I'm looking at you Adolf Hitler) don't think you're weird and yes tell her this.