Asperger's and difficulty with authority figures

[Gracey]

On joining the forces, family didn't expect me to get through the training and discipline. (I was willful at home)
Truth was I loved the structure, hierarchy, rules, everyone knowing their place and repetition in training made things easier to learn.
There were procedures and protocol and everyone followed it which made it much easier to anticipate how a fellow soldier or someone of rank was likely to act or behave.
If a recruit had the audacity to look a senior training instructor in the eye on being addressed it was punishable.
(I was born with the ability not to )
You respected the rank, not the person.
(Again, easily done, I didn't really socialise with ranking personnel)
This was all 30 yrs ago, I wouldn't know what training is like today, not really.

Four years down the line and a promotion under my belt I overstepped my boundaries is owing to a (lazy) senior officer who was a d***.
He obtained his commission to look good on his CV and was just poncing around, marking time until he'd finished the required amount of compulsory service and could leave. He didn't lead people, he irritated them.
He gave me an unreasonable direct order, I didn't follow it. I was disciplined and made the decision to leave the services.
And that was that

I think my problem with authority arises when I see straight through people and can't handle their acting and B.S. They're not confident in what they're trying to do or say, trying to blagg it and hope nobody will notice.

 

[Desiree W]

Yup, I've struggled against authority figures all my life, especially ones who bullied me and forced me to participate in meaningless (and overstimulating) activities that I didn't understand.
Let it be henceforth known that doing those things had NO lasting impact on me - except my lifelong hatred of them!

I do NOT like "icebreakers". I don't like being put on the spot in group settings. I'm not a fan of public speaking either. This causes anxiety for me.

 

[Andrew206]

I have no problem taking direction from authority figures, but I don't like being micro-managed.

 

[Katleya]

I love rules and will happily follow them under one simple provision: they have to make sense and be humane. But if you're asking me to do something that is against common sense and/or will have an impact on other people's dignity, prepare to face a wall.

I relate so much to the posts about stupid bosses. My last one couldn't wrap his head around a basic accounting thing (and I have no knack for accounting, so you can trust that I'm not overestimating how easy). I checked with our accounting department, got an explanation that made sense. He asked again, I explained. Few weeks later, he interrupted me again with the exact same question, I explained in several different ways, he still didn't get it, so he demanded that I make an appointment with accounting to figre it out. Look, buddy, I'm not the one with a thick head, here, and both the accountants and myself have other things to do than go on a wild goose chase for the neurones you're missing. Over the next month, he asked again, and again, and again, and I explained about as many times. Bottom line is, you're not making three times my salary for me to teach you the magical ways of something that you're supposed to manage.
My point is I don't have a problem with authority, but I believe authority is earned, not owed because it was bestowed upon an undeserving, incompetent person. As long as I perceive you as "superior" in skill to me, I'll respect your authority. The moment I spot weakness, incompetence or the person in authority shows that they are no better than me (or worse, not as knowledgeable in our field), then I will not cut you any slack. If someone is utterly wrong and is on some bullsh!t, then I don't care who you are: I will tell it like it is, and I will forget that NTs prefer that you bite your tongue, bend your head, and blindly follow. I feel their behavior amounts, to a lesser extent, to idolization.

I have a history of correcting facts from my teachers and, later, professors. Bosses. Supervisors. You name it. I can be one of the greatest assets on a team, but I guess I can turn into a nightmare for some bosses, I know it can be an impediment... but it's not going to change, mostly because I don't feel an instinctive need to be liked.

 

[Todd Gilbey]

I love rules and will happily follow them under one simple provision: they have to make sense and be humane. But if you're asking me to do something that is against common sense and/or will have an impact on other people's dignity, prepare to face a wall.

I relate so much to the posts about stupid bosses. My last one couldn't wrap his head around a basic accounting thing (and I have no knack for accounting, so you can trust that I'm not overestimating how easy). I checked with our accounting department, got an explanation that made sense. He asked again, I explained. Few weeks later, he interrupted me again with the exact same question, I explained in several different ways, he still didn't get it, so he demanded that I make an appointment with accounting to figre it out. Look, buddy, I'm not the one with a thick head, here, and both the accountants and myself have other things to do than go on a wild goose chase for the neurones you're missing. Over the next month, he asked again, and again, and again, and I explained about as many times. Bottom line is, you're not making three times my salary for me to teach you the magical ways of something that you're supposed to manage.
My point is I don't have a problem with authority, but I believe authority is earned, not owed because it was bestowed upon an undeserving, incompetent person. As long as I perceive you as "superior" in skill to me, I'll respect your authority. The moment I spot weakness, incompetence or the person in authority shows that they are no better than me (or worse, not as knowledgeable in our field), then I will not cut you any slack. If someone is utterly wrong and is on some bullsh!t, then I don't care who you are: I will tell it like it is, and I will forget that NTs prefer that you bite your tongue, bend your head, and blindly follow. I feel their behavior amounts, to a lesser extent, to idolization.

I have a history of correcting facts from my teachers and, later, professors. Bosses. Supervisors. You name it. I can be one of the greatest assets on a team, but I guess I can turn into a nightmare for some bosses, I know it can be an impediment... but it's not going to change, mostly because I don't feel an instinctive need to be liked.

This is exactly how I think. I'm glad I'm not the only one. You've hit the nail on the head with me there. Thank you for your contribution.

 

[Ambi]

I don't think recognizing, respecting, and even caring about tribal hierarchy and dynamics was ever natural to me. Now I just try to remember that NTs think they make the world go round.

 

[Mattymatt]

I think I just do not suffer fools very well. It's even worse when the fool is the one in charge. I have respect for competent leadership but I have no time for idiots. I am pretty sure this has hurt my standing in employment situations.

 

[Gracey]

I can feel disappointment and somewhat suprised when a manager doesn't live up to their role.

But I suspect that might have more to do with how I feel about the responsibilities I undertake and how much of a perfectionist I can be. "Go hard or go home" as they say.
I'm judging them by my own standards.


I view Police Officers as an authority and view 'the law' as a bit of an authority but have yet to meet or hear about a Barrister/lawyer who doesn't want to make obscene amounts of money and manipulate the letter of the law for their own gains.
A love of the law not a love of money and status.

 

[fairy_girl]

It's one of the reasons I had thought about quitting going to school a few times but I stayed solely to get an education and I liked having to see my friends.

My issue with authority figures is that they get an ego trip and enjoy telling people what to do. The people in charge (or those that thought that they were in charge in their own minds) tended to try to control me because I looked weak (I was trying to juggle my vision, not having people bump into me and try to get to one side of the building to the other without being late for class) and they thought that it was funny. Once I told them off they left me alone, I did manage not to get physical with them so they got a good verbal lashing.

 

[Judge]

It's a complicated to me personally, having grown up in a military family. Where we all understood that the needs of the state superseded the needs of our family.

I can potentially thrive in an orderly social structure. However there are boundaries. Where my ability to adhere to the rules ends when anyone attempts to micromanage me.

Amusing to look back and recall how my father thought I would have done well in the military. And how my mother thought quite the opposite. And to realize that my mother knew me better than my father in this instance.

Yet oddly enough I have what amounts to a morbid fascination with the most repressive of societies and political systems. Would I want to be a part of them? Absolutely not. But from a distance they have always intrigued me for some reason.

 

[Mattymatt]

It's a complicated to me personally, having grown up in a military family. Where we all understood that the needs of the state superseded the needs of our family.

I can potentially thrive in an orderly social structure. However there are boundaries. Where my ability to adhere to the rules ends when anyone attempts to micromanage me.

Amusing to look back and recall how my father thought I would have done well in the military. And how my mother thought quite the opposite. And to realize that my mother knew me better than my father in this instance.

Yet oddly enough I have what amounts to a morbid fascination with the most repressive of societies and political systems. Would I want to be a part of them? Absolutely not. But from a distance they have always intrigued me for some reason.

Interesting. I have been somewhat fascinated by such societies myself but from a purely psychological standpoint. I've often wondered about the process of brainwashing and why it is so effective. Literally, North Koreans mourned the passing of their Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il. I remember 60 minutes doing an episode on this and wondered how people could mourn the passing of a repressive, tyrant. For me, I'd keep the flag raised at full staff and celebrate.

 

[Judge]

Interesting. I have been somewhat fascinated by such societies myself but from a purely psychological standpoint. I've often wondered about the process of brainwashing and why it is so effective. Literally, North Koreans mourned the passing of their Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il. I remember 60 minutes doing an episode on this and wondered how people could mourn the passing of a repressive, tyrant. For me, I'd keep the flag raised at full staff and celebrate.

You might appreciate Dr. Stanley Milgram's controversial experiments in the 60s regarding obedience to authority. Interesting stuff, although some have attempted to debunk his work long after the fact. Something I learned in college in the 70s, having studied totalitarian systems for a political science degree.

 

[Mattymatt]

You might appreciate Dr. Stanley Milgram's controversial experiments in the 60s regarding obedience to authority. Interesting stuff, although some have attempted to debunk his work long after the fact. Something I learned in college in the 70s, having studied totalitarian systems for a political science degree.

I remember studying Dr. Milgram in Sociology. I actually wrote a thesis on Dr. Philip Zimbardo and The Stanford Prison Experiment. Dr. Zimbardo's experiment was recently featured in a Forrest Whittaker movie, The Experiment. The movie remains quite factual to the actual Stanford Experiment.